Healing (KTH, featuring KNJ)

Chapter 18

Taehyung couldn't even be bothered to let his members know that he was not going to be home any time soon. He had much more important things to focus on at the moment, the sweet girl who was snuggled tight against his chest. Initially he thought better of crawling under the covers next to her and holding her close. After all, he was at Namjoon's parents house, and they really weren't on the best of terms. It would be a risk. But eventually the call of being warm and tangled up together broke his resolve. He could always ask for forgiveness a second time if necessary.

It was the early hours of the morning when she stirred for the first time. Expecting to be cold and alone, instead she found herself pulled tight against a firm, warm, and distinctly naked chest. Peeking her eyes open she found the perfect skin of Taehyung, with arms wrapped so tight around her she couldn't hope to move. Which, if she was honest, was ok with her. She really wasn't interested in going anywhere. Instead she took this moment of quiet, broken only by Taehyung's even breaths, to think about how she had gotten here. When she lost Namsoo she was certain she'd never find another love that stirred her heart. But she was more than wrong. Namsoo's loss was tragic, and always will be. But Taehyung had a special passion, goofiness and warmth she'd never expected. Maybe he wasn't perfect, but he was perfect for her.

She reflected on how respectful he had been taking things slow physically to make sure she didn't feel overwhelmed. She absolutely adored every time he took the lead in showing his affection through touch. He was sweet and gentle, and passionate and aggressive. He knew how to make her curl up on herself, feeling shy. And he knew how to unleash her passionate side, where she simply grabbed on tight and hitched her breath at the sensations he was causing across her skin. He was a master of creativity when it came to finding ways to turn her on without removing her clothes. She trusted him to take care of her, and knew he would do everything to make her feel desired and wanted without pushing her beyond her boundaries.

Just the thought of taking their relationship further had her pushing closer against him. It was as though she needed to make up for lost time during his absence.

Rolling onto his back, Taehyung took Clara with him, pinning her cheek against his smooth chest, while he slid one leg under hers, leaving her thigh hitched high across his, the sound of his heartbeat strong in her ear.

She knew that she would be judged for forgiving him so easily, but for her part she felt she needed his affection. It had almost become part of her healing process, reminding her that there really could be more to life. That was the hardest part of their time apart. Falling back into the gray monotony, fearing that any happiness in her life was truly over. He had the unique ability to break through and allow her to dream of a different kind of future.

Sensing she was awake, Taehyung began to stir himself, slowly rubbing a hand on her back. It felt so comfortable, he barely dared to break the silence and start the hard conversation he knew was coming. But feeling her close, touching his skin without shying away, allowed him to hope that they really could fix this.

"Sweetheart", Taehyung began, "I cannot tell you how sorry I am for what happened. I know I did the wrong thing, for you, for me, for us, and even for my parents. I should have been much more forceful in defending you, and I should have come to you right away. I apologize for being so selfish. I just haven't been in a relationship like this. I want to be with you for a long, long time, building a life together. But while I have that dream, I know I haven't really thought through how to make it happen. I know that isn't fair to you. Honestly, so much of my lifestyle isn't really fair for you. I know you are constantly making sacrifices to work around me and I never hear you complain. This time I needed to make the sacrifice, and I failed. While I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore, I want you to know that I love you, and if nothing else, you really have made me happy and helped me become a better person."

Taehyung was met with silence, but after a few moments he began to feel the drip of tears on his chest.

"Oh no baby girl, please don't cry again. You've cried too much already. I have made you cry too much already. Please don't be sad anymore."

With a sniffle Clara pulled away, slid further away on the bed, and moved to sit up. Taehyung scurrying to match her position.

"Tae, I...I love you too. And that's really really scary, because I both know I'm not good enough for you and your family, and I don't think I can handle the heartbreak of losing another man that has wedged himself this far into my heart. If there is any part of you that isn't totally sure about this, I'm asking, no I'm begging you, please leave now. Because if you stay, I know I'm just going to move further into loving you, and start to really dream about what our future together might be."

After wiping away more of her tears, Taehyung grabbed her hand, "I promise I'm going to stay with you for as long as you will have me. And I'll fight the whole world, including my parents, if they try to break us apart. I know I haven't earned your trust, but please trust me on this. I'm going to do whatever it takes to assure you that you are loved, and I will never walk away from you.

A small smile began to break through on Clara's face, followed by Taehyung reaching his arms out, "come here, let me hold you, it's still too early and you need to get some more rest. We'll figure everything else out in the morning."