Healing (KTH, featuring KNJ)

Chapter 12

Taehyung absolutely loved the garden. It was the perfect gift. Building it together with Clara was a perfect day, but seeing the strawberries and vegetables grow was equally satisfying. It reminded him of his blossoming relationship with Clara. Each moment he spent with her convinced him that he wanted to explore taking things further. But he wanted to give her plenty of space and time to see if she would eventually come to the same conclusion.

By the time the strawberries had begun to ripen, he realized he didn't want to wait any longer.  It was time to make the next move. Clara's birthday was coming up and he wanted to do something special for her. Both to thank her for how thoughtful she always was to him, but also because he wanted to use that opportunity to share his feelings with her.

Unfortunately, the weeks before her birthday were incredibly busy. So his hopes of planning something extravagant were quickly slipping away. They had staff he could ask to help, but he really wanted to do this himself. Just like how she had planned the garden for him.

By the day before her birthday he'd all but given up as he complained to Jimin.

"Grrr, I had such high hopes and now I have nothing planned. This is so important and I feel like a total failure. Sometimes our schedule and the busyness is so frustrating. Honestly, is it even reasonable to be here 16 hours a day? And at this point I can't even find a driver or security if we did want to go out. Maybe this is just a sign that it isn't meant to be and I should just forget about it."

"Taehyung-ah, don't be so frustrated. You can still figure something out. From the time I've been around Clara I don't think she needs some grand gesture. And she certainly doesn't seem like the type that is hoping for an expensive gift. I know you can do this. Just take a deep breath and tell me what you're thinking."

Following Jimin's instructions, Taehyung took a deep breath and began to share his ideas. Jimin chimed in with words of support and offers of ways he could help. By the end of their conversation Taehyung finally felt confident about his plan for Clara's birthday. It wasn't exactly what he had originally envisioned, but he hoped it would provide the perfect setting for him to share his feelings with her.

Taehyung sent Clara a text asking her to come to the dorm around 7 the following evening, which she gladly accepted. Taehyung had asked her several weeks ago to keep that evening open. And while she had been planning to spend that day with Namjoon's family, they immediately agreed to celebrate her birthday the following day when they found out she had another invitation. Namjoon's parents had been anxious that Clara continued to shut herself away and keep from developing other relationships. And while they loved how close she had become to them, they knew she needed more friends her own age. Her friendship with Taehyung was perfect in their eyes. They knew and liked him, and because he was with Namjoon so often it kept her close in their orbit.

Clara didn't spend much time getting ready before running out the door for dinner with Taehyung. After all, he had told her they were eating in.  And he'd seen her in everything from workout clothes, to dirt covered overalls for working in the garden, to her standard suits and heels for work. She was expected that it would be just another night they would be hanging out together as friends.

But Taehyung had different plans. He had ordered in an extravagant meal, had cleaned up the balcony, including making sure the small lights were working and his speaker was connected and working. And while Clara didn't think too much of her own outfit it felt like he had half his closet laying on his bed while he tried to figure out what to wear. Jimin eventually stopped by, saw the mess, and started to help guide Taehyung to some basic jeans and a button down.  Helping to calm his nerves by chatting about a funny American movie he'd recently watched.

Before long the doorbell rang and Taehyung ran to open it. While some of the other guys were home, they had agreed to stay in their room to give Taehyung the space he needed to be bold and ask Clara to be his girlfriend. All of them had seen the relationship blossoming and were overjoyed both for Clara, who seemed to be truly healing from her grief, and for Taehyung, whose anxiety had gone down and was beginning to feel more self-confident the more time they spent together. They hoped for both of their sake that Clara would return Taehyung's feelings tonight.

Clara found Taehyung oddly nervous as he led her to the cozy balcony where plates were already laid out with lids keeping the food warm. He pulled out her chair for her and before long they were enjoying the delicious food and laughing together, mostly about a story Taehyung was sharing about how frustrated Jin had become at dance practice the previous week.

After they had eaten their fill and found a lull in conversation, Taehyung asked Clara if she would like to dance to the soft music playing in the background. With a smile Clara accepted Taehyung's hands, "I have to be honest, I'm not much of a dancer. I'm afraid this may be a recreation of Jin at dance practice last week."

"I'm sure you'll be wonderful, just follow my lead".

Taehyung wasn't planning any complicated dance moves, he simply wanted an excuse to hold her closer, gently swaying together as he held one of her hands on his chest while the other wrapped securely around her waist. Clara found it comforting and was glad she didn't have to worry about embarrassing herself with moves that were any more complicated than simply rocking to the gentle beat of the jazz playing in the background.

In fact, she was surprised by how comfortable she found it. Since Namsoo's passing she really hadn't spent this much time physically wrapped up in the warmth of another person. She hadn't realized how much she missed it.  And as each song progressed into the next she found herself melting and relaxing further into Taehyung's hold as he hummed along to some parts of the music.

During a transition between songs she drew her face up to tell Taehyung how much she was enjoying their evening together. But she was surprised to find he was already staring into her own eyes and slowly inching closer. Clara could see what Taehyung was planning to do, and for a moment she froze. Did she want this? Was it even ok to want this? But reflecting on how much she simply enjoyed the warm physical contact of being in his arms, she decided to turn her anxiety off for a moment and simply allow it to happen.

And...it was wonderful. Not just the kiss, although Taehyung's lips were like no other. But the gentleness and the warmth that came through them. Each movement of their lips together confirmed how desperately she missed the comfort of physical contact.  Her heart began to race and she gently returned his sweet affection.

Taehyung hadn't known what to expect, but whatever he was thinking this was definitely even better. After each short parting of their lips they seemed drawn back to each other. Gentle brushes, sweet pecks, and long, gentle kisses, where their breath seemed to mingle and become one. Her fingers had moved up to intertwine with his hair, and his hand brushed her check, enjoying the soft skin. He was in heaven and he wasn't sure he would ever find the willpower to stop.

Eventually breaking away, Taehyung rested their foreheads together, not quite ready to look her in the eye for fear of rejection. And after that kiss he knew he'd be crushed if he didn't have more opportunities to explore her lips.

"Clara, I...I like you. Honestly I have for a long time but I was just afraid to admit it. You are so kind and, just perfect. I know you've had your heart broken and I probably am not good enough to be by your side, but I'm asking if you'll consider being my girlfriend. I value our friendship so much.  So if you say no, please don't leave me. But I'm really really really really really hoping that you say yes."

"Oh Taehyung, my sweet sweet friend. I like you too, but I'm not totally sure I'm ready for something more. But I want to give it a try. Can you be patient for me if I need to continue to heal my own heart before I can fully give it to you?"

"Oh baby girl, I'll do anything if it means you and I can be together" and with that his mouth was back on hers, this kiss more urgent than the last. He couldn't contain his relief and he poured all of that into caressing her lips with his own. Finally stopped for a breath he squeezed her tight into a hug against him. He would be happiest if he never had to let her go, even for a minute. But he knew that while he would be perfectly content showing her his love in every way, she clearly wasn't ready yet. So he needed to exercise some self-control before it became even harder to give her the space she would need.

With a rumble of a sigh, he caressed her check. "Thank you Clara. I promise I won't let you down.