MY P.O.V
After Daryl dissappeared into the woods Rick let go of me and I sank into the grund, leaning my head against the car while crying harder.
"Come on Aly, we need to get you up," Maggie said.
"No, just leave me here," I whispered.
"No, you ain't well come on."
I hesitently let her help me to my feet. "I csan't believe he left me," I whispered against her.
"Come on, forget about it."
I leaned against the window, watching the trees as the car drove through the empty streets. Everything was silent when we arrived at the prison. The gates were opened and closed easy and the car came to a stop.
"I want to go back," I said.
"What?" Maggie asked.
"I want to go back to Woodbury,'' I said quielty, barely awake anymore.
"You don't know what your talking about, you'll die out there," Rick said.
"Good, that's what I want," I said.
"Your not thinking striahgt.."
"Who are you to tell me if I'm thinking stright?"
I was staring a head while Hershal checked me over. "You doing alright?" Carol asked as she walked into the room with some water.
"Bad enough I gotta deal with Hershal, now I gotta deal with you too?" Her face fell. "Sorry," I apologized.
"I understand what your going through."
"No you don't, you didn't get raped, you dind't have to watch the man you love walk away from you,' I said.
"Hershal, mind giving us a minute?"
He nodded. "Just stay off your feet, you'll be fine within' a day or so," he said and hobbled out on his crutches.
She sat on the edge of the bed and sighed. "He'll come back to you.'
"What makes you so sure I want him back? He made a bad decision."
"He forgave you."
"That's different, way different."
"No it's not."
"He chose a man that watched a guy rape me, he watched the whole time while I begged him to stop, he chose a man that beat up Glenn, almost killed the three of us, you can't tell me its the same."
She looked down. "I'm sorry," she said.
"It's my fault," I said.
"No it's not," she whispered before leaving me alone.
I was almost asleep until I heard my cell gate close. My eyes popped open and I sat up uickly to see Rick locking me up. I started on my feet and felt heavy pain but I couldn't stop. "Rick, what are you doing?" I asked.
"Your not stable to be able to go in and out."
"What?" I asked and started shaking on the gate. "Lwt me out of here."
"It's for your own good."
"DAMMIT RICK I'M NOT AN ANIMAL!" I yelled and started shaking it harder. "NOW LET ME OUT OF HERE!"
"I'm sorry," he said and walked off, ignoring my even angrier yells and unusful curse words.
When I calmed down I sat back down and looked around the room. My eyes landed on the knife on the ground that I must've dropped when I got back. I picked it up and examined it. I can't believe they didn't think about cleaning out the cell. I approached the gate and peeked through. Carl was stadning next to my cell, paying no attention to me, but looking at Beth who was holding Judith.
I moved back into my cell and sat on the edge of my bed. I held my wrist out and took a deep breath. "Goodbye," I whispered a whole lot louder than I planned.
I dug the silver blade into my wrist, deep, and made a clean bloody slice. I dropped the knife and let it fall to the ground in a already deep pile of blood. I stared down at it and realized that I didn't want to die, not for anyone. "Carl," I whispered as I fell to my knees trying to get to him.
I saw his blue eyes that reminded me painfully of Daryl and he was screaming. "DAD! HERSHAL!" he yelled and started unlocking the gate.
"Oh hell,'' Rick said as he ran into the room.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I dind't want to."
"Ssh, it's okay,' he said, painfully putting a cloth on my wound.
"HERSHAL, BRING THE KIT!" Rick yelled again and looked down at me.
"I didn't want to die, I just....I dind't," I said, not able to form any words.
"It's okay, we'll stich you up."
I wandered around the cell block, my wrist still in a bit of pain from earlier. I walked past Carol and Judith then down the runway. I stood at the threshold of Daryl's cell, staring into it. I walked in and ran my fingers over the poncho he left behind. I turned around at the clearing of someone's throat and wiped my eyes when I saw Carol.
"I shouldn't be in here, I know, he wouldn't like me messing with his things,'' I whispered sadly.
"Come on," she said.
I sighed but followed her. I smiled as she picked Judith out of a nice crib box and motioned for me to take her.
"She won't sleep for me, I thought maybe you could try something, she hates when I even hum," Carol said.
I took Judith and smiled at the brown eyed little girl. I sat down in the rusty chair and sighed. ''Deep in the darkness there will be light,
Don't you worry I will save you from fright,
Dear little angle don't let the darkness invade me,
Don't let these devil's change me," I sang quietly to the little one.
I started humming the rest, letting the baby's eyes start to drop. "Your a good singer," Carol commented once I put a knocked out Judith into the box.
"I thought it was bad," I said truthfully.
"No, you were fantastic, haven't heard a sweet singing voice in a long time,' she admitted.
I smiled at her. "It made me feel better, like I was singing this world away."
"Your staying here right? I can't take another day loosing someone."
"No, I'm staying, it'll hurt for a while but I'm not going anywhere."
She touched my shoulder. "Good, I need someone to look after."
"I don't need a gardian, that's the last thing I need."
"I know but, I don't want you hurting yourself again, not after something like that."
"I love him, I want him back," i said and started letting tears fall from my eyes again.
"Come here."
I let her wrap her arms around me and I cried onto her after letting myself hug her.
After my breakdown I heard yells then a gunshot. "Oh my god," I said.
"Stay in here," she said.
"No, I'm a good shot, stay with Judith!" I shouted and took off running, grabbing a rifle from the table.
I ran out into the prison yard in the middle of a shootout. I shot a man in the head, a man that didn't belong to us, and ran. I managed to get by many bullets before crashing next to Maggie behind a filing cabniet they had out there. "Who the hell is doing this?"
"Who do you think?"
"The Govornor?" I asked, calling him Philip would be posion to my lips.
"Obviously."
I screamed as a bullet whizzed past my head.
When the fight was over the van that dropped off the dozen walkers was driving away after them. "Son of a bitch, what do we do?" I asked.
"My dad's out there."
I followed her gaze to the tall grass where Michonne was trying to protect Hershal with her blade. I looked around to check on everybody and my eyes stopped when I noticed two people standing with Rick. Daryl and Merle. "No way in hell," I whispered but Maggie stopped me.
"Don't, we can't go out there yet," she said.
"I'm going inside, away from them."
"Was anybody hit?" Carol asked as Maggie and I walked in.
"Axel," I said and walked over to her. "He's here, with Merle," I said angirly.
"I told you he would come back for you."
"Not after what happened, I'm not letting him back in."
"He came back at a good time, you know he did."
"Well he may be good for the group but not for me," I said. TBC
