Lost, Found, And Chosen.

Saudade

Why do I feel like It's wrong to miss you?

That feeling you get right after you've tasted spoiled milk.... Bitter

Maybe I can blame it all on pride, or disarray, who knows?

I think moving forward is knowing It's okay to miss them, even if they did you wrong.

Taking a sabbatical from those feelings does no good, they push feelings down until it rises again.

Almost like pushing and keeping a water bottle full of air under a community pool, impossible.

Maybe I miss our phone calls, or our sleepover karaoke sessions in the living room.

Maybe I miss thinking about you, or being so close to you... regretfully holding that hope.

Maybe I missed pretending that I texted you my love confession and you accepted it.

Maybe I missed everything we weren't.

And that was enough.

But I still feel it.

The love that remains in the air, that just needs a strong gust of wind;

Enough to scrape a rock against the concrete... a small spark would be enough.

I wish I could say this happily but I need to move on.

Your hurt wasn't enough for me to put a wall up.

I'll keep building a fence so I can look over and see.

But I'll divert my gaze into a mirror so I can reflect on myself and find the love in me.

The love you never were human enough to show.

And who knows maybe I'd find some saudade in myself when i don't need it,

But I know it'd always be there, and it wouldn't take wind to spark anything.

It'd just take a simple feeling.

Saudade.