Zap! (M. Clifford/5SOS)

Chapter 15: Too Late

Michael's P.O.V.

As soon as I get home from training, I confine myself in my room, trying not to get angry. Well, I'm not exactly irate, but I'm mad at myself for not going after Monica when I had the chance, and now she's on a date with Ashton and that means that they're probably going to be official soon and I'll have to leave the room whenever they come in together because it's going to hurt like hell. And what sucks even more is that Ashton's my bandmate now and he's here to stay, so there's no way I'm going to avoid that. And what hurts the most is that I was so close to getting her, but Ashton beat me and now I'll never know what could have been between us. I could have a chance sometime in the future if they break up, but there's no denying the strong feelings I have for her right now in this very time period. I might not have these feelings anymore once they're over, although I will always love her.

Sitting on the edge of my bed with my head buried in my hands, I feel the hot tears emerging from my eyes and sliding down my face, landing in my hands. Why does this have to happen? Why does life have to go against me? All I want is for Monica to be mine. Is that so hard?

A soft knock on my door causes me to lift my head and Tatiana enters in.

"Hey, your mum told me you were up here," she greets, closing the door.

"Go away," I tell her and look at the floor again. She pauses and really studies me now.

"Wha...a-are you okay?" she asks.

"I said go away," I repeat, not looking at her.

"I'm not leaving, Michael, you're a mess," Tatiana says, walking over and sitting next to me. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"None of your business," I snap, a little too harshly.

"I'm your best friend. You can talk to me about anything!"

"Yeah, so is Monica, but..."

"What does Monica have to do with this?" Tatiana asks. "Did you guys have a fight or something?"

"No, nothing like that," I swallow, having a hard time expressing myself when Tatiana won't stop talking about her.

"Then what is it? Talk to me, Mikey," she calmly demands. I remain silent, trying to figure out what to say. Do I admit to her that I like Monica? No matter what happens, I don't want Monica finding out unless it's from me and knowing how those two work, Tatiana might blab about this to her.

"Is this about Monica?" Tatiana questions and I nod. "Well, what happened? She hasn't said anything to me that something did happen between you two. Then again, she's on her date right now so she has Ashton all in her mind-"

"Shut up!" I scream, not wanting to hear anything about the stupid date.

"Woah, okay, I didn't mean it like tha...hold on. You're not jealous that she's on a date tonight, are you?" she gapes. "Oh, my God. So while she's out there having fancy food at a fancy restaurant dining with a guy she likes, you're stuck in here on a Friday night with nothing to do-"

"I'm not jealous of her. I'm jealous of Ashton," I say through gritted teeth, hoping she finally understands.

"Oh...wait a minute. Are you in love with Monica?" Tatiana inquires, becoming serious.

"Yes! Now that we're finally on the same page, can you please leave my room so I can die in peace?!" I reply with a little bit of sarcasm.

"What? I'm not going to leave, Mikey, especially when you're like this," she responds, her voice dropping. I take in a few deep breaths, calming myself down and in my quiet state, Tatiana asks, "How in love with her are you?"