Chapter 32

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A/N: TW: Mention of drugs.

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LISA

I pray inside that Leo hasn't bought drugs behind my back and hasn't started his addiction again. Otherwise, I would have to force him to go back to weekly AHC or rehab.

Leo grabs my upper arms and looks down at me intently with a smile. "Lis, why are you suddenly so skeptical? I don't do drugs, okay?"

His eyes are red, his pupil is still huge. He looks the same as always, but I still have a gut feeling that something bad is about to happen. "Then show me what you have in your pocket."

Leo lets go of me and puts his hand in his pocket. His look is disappointing and for a moment I feel guilty. He sticks money in my face and says. "I tutor Josh in math for his engineering course and he gave me the money for the last two times. Do you believe me now?"

My eyes widen and I feel terrible. How can I accuse Leo of all this without any evidence? Just because I betrayed his trust doesn't mean he betrayed mine. I slam my left hand against my forehead because I feel so ridiculous and guilty.

"I am sorry."

I hug Leo and signal that everything is fine. "Lis, everything is okay." He pulls away from me a little to place both of his large hands on my cheeks. With such tenderness he smiles at me and says. "Now go change. Because you won't get that stain out that quickly."

I nod and he gives me a tight kiss before turning away from him. Before I can take two steps, Leo gives me a gentle slap on my butt while I stick my tongue out at him, grinning. The look he gives me is full of love and suddenly I realize that I haven't been really intimate with Leo in over a month, even though I've been sleeping with him all the time, or he with me. I can't describe exactly what's wrong, but I just couldn't and luckily he didn't push me once. But maybe it's about time again? After all, he's been my boyfriend for over a year and a half and I don't think there's ever been such a long dry spell between us.

I hope you're not thinking about the hot devil this time, sweetie., my inner voice smirks, and I shake that thought away immediately.

"Leo?"

"Lis?"

"Meet me in your room in fifteen minutes." I try to say seductively, twist a curly strand of hair around my finger and bite my red lips.

I see his Adam's apple move as he swallows and now he's the one whose eyes widen. He can't get a word out and just nods again and again. Leo is the complete opposite of Jennie. Not for the first time, I wonder how Jennie Kim of all people can be the one I'm attracted to when Leo, on the other hand, is shy and not pushy at all.

I hurry up the stairs to Leo's room and want to get my fancy underwear out of my sports bag, which I have with me. As I slide my arm under Leo's bed to pull out my bag, something pecks at me as I hiss and pull my arm back. A tiny drop of blood forms on the tip of my thumb. What the hell was that?

I bend down to see what's pricked me and can't believe my own eyes. I look at the syringe, which is now in my hand, with a mixture of shock and disappointment. Most likely it's heroin. I can't believe Leo lied to me so badly. Nor that he is using drugs again.

After recovering myself, I get up with such determination and pick up his mattress to see if he's hiding more there and my heart aches to see the result. On his slatted frame are bags containing plastic boxes filled with drugs. I throw everything on the ground and see the colorful collection of many drugs. Cocaine, MDMA, amphetamines, cannabis... I just can't believe it all and I hate myself for knowing exactly what many of these pills are from personal experience. I have never seen so many drugs at once in my life. It hurts me so much that for a brief moment I consider swallowing a temazepam pill to calm down. I immediately shake my head. No! I will not relapse!

I quickly tie a ponytail, collect all the drugs and run to the bathroom. I hurriedly open each individual plastic box and pour it into the toilet. Just everything. I can't tell how long it takes me, maybe five minutes? Maybe less or longer. I realize that the toilet isn't the best option for disposing of the drugs, but right now I have no choice. Again and again I press the flush valve and the very last time the toilet is clogged. Panicked, I look at all these colorful tablets that can't be flushed and reach for the plunger.

After watching everything in the
drain disappears, I lean back against the wall with relief. In the mirror I see beads of sweat forming on my forehead and realize that I'm out of breath. Only now do I realize how exhausting it was for me, but it was worth it. Leo is off drugs and I'm already dreading how I'm going to teach him that he needs to go back to rehab.

After resting for a few minutes, I go back to Leo's room and find him pacing up and down angrily. When he sees me, he comes right up to me and grabs my upper arm so hard that it hurts a bit.

"Lalisa Manoban, where the hell is all that stuff?!" He yells at me so hard that I don't even recognize him. His nostrils flare and his head is red with anger.

I get scared for a moment as I haven't seen him erupt in anger in over a year. When I regain my composure, I push him back with all my might. "I did what you couldn't and disposed of them!"

Leo pulls his hair together. "How could you be so stupid! Why don't you talk to me first?"

"Why should I? You've been lying to me the last few weeks, Leo! I'm just trying to help you!"

"Trying to help me?" He laughs scornfully. "You just signed my death warrant!"

I can't believe how everything is escalating and how angry I am at Leo. So much so that my hands are already shaking.

"You mean I'm trying to save your damn life? Why did you start taking drugs again! You know exactly what it has done to you!"

"I don't do drugs, damn it! You have no idea what you did there!"

"And then why were..." I suddenly remember the previous situation, how he shook hands with this Josh, how he gave him money. I gasp in shock and shake my head and hold my hands in front of my mouth for a moment.

"Leo, please don't tell me that you also sell drugs. How did it happen? If it's about money, why didn't you say anything?" I walk towards Leo and want to hold his face in my hands, but he pushes me away, so I slam against the wall with such force that it slightly hurts.

"Get out!" He screams, but I stop. That can't be serious, can it? He grabs my wrist, grabs my gym bag with the other hand before throwing me out of his room and slamming the door. First I hear the click as he locks the door and then I hear furniture banging on the floor and his constant cursing.

Who the hell is this Leo that just stood in front of me?

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