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"I know your sister-wife was talking about doing a membeso ceremony as soon as possible because lobola negotiations weren't done properly. Now, because the uniting of the familes wasn't done properly traditionally our ancestors don't see you as a wife. Infact they don't know you exist."

This whole conversation was just frustrating and I really didn't like the tone she was speaking in but I kept quiet. "I agree with MaKhumalo. We introduce you to our ancestors and then do the ceremony. Before we do this however your family has to do a cleansing ceremony after what happened with your father.  You can't marry into a new family with bad spirits and unfinished business."

This whole situation was just annoying and confusing. "Alot has happened on our side as well. Senzo and his wives need to do a cleansing ceremony as well and their house needs to be cleansed. We don't want to rush things but we also want to get it done as quickly as possible so order can be restored."

Okay, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I thought I was going to get the usual golddigger and age gap speech. "But as for now, Senzo your uncle's will accompany us to your house in the village. We will pack your wives things and take them to their respective homes. We're going to have to let their families know what's happening and that we have brought them back to learn respect. We'll cleanse the home and MaCele will come with us to the farm. She'll be back home depending on her progress."

Baba insisted that I go with them. So I packed our bags. Ma refused to come with. She was against the marriages from the start and she refused to be part of this mess. I made sure my aunt would check on her while we were away.

We were off. It was extremely awkward because Baba wanted me sit in the front and MaCele was already in the front seat. "Dlamini I'm already sitting here and she doesn't have a problem sitting in the back." She complained and before Senzo could answer the loud aunt jumped in.

"Get in the back! When your husband speaks you listen! I see now why we were called so urgently! Not so long ago you were begging and saying you'll do anything now you're totally disrespecting us! How dare you?!" I just stood there awkwardly. "Get in the back!" She quickly made her way to the back and Senzo helped me get in the front.

An hour into the drive I was getting uncomfortable. I hated when this happened because everyone around me always made a big deal about it. I took off my seatbelt and immediately saw the worry on Senzo's face. "You okay?" I nodded and took the pillow I had on my lap and placed it behind my back.

A petrol station was coming up and Senzo pulled up to it. "You didn't have to stop." I said softly. "We were going to stretch our legs at some point. It might as well be now." I just went with it. He got petrol and everyone got out to stretch their legs. I didn't want to drink any pain medication unless I absolutely needed to so I didn't.

"Let's go and get some snacks inside." We all went in and got a few things. I went into the bathroom with Senzo so he could put ointment on my back to relieve the tightness and the itchiness the we were off again.

We got there in the afternoon and I was starving. The place looked beautiful. It was one big piece of land with family houses surrounding a hut big enough to be considered a hall. They had huts by each house and a huge field where crops were growing.

We were warmly welcomed by his uncles wives. Moses and his aunt's from his family's side went into the main hut and his uncles wives and their daughters showed us to a smaller house.

"This house was built for your father-in-law and his wife before they moved to the city but your husband stays here now when he comes. This is where you will be staying. I'm not sure of your sleeping arrangements so you should ask your husband who will be using the house and who will be using the hut at the back."

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