At the end of May, I got back on a low dose of the antidepressant I had been on before, and continued video conference therapy with my doctor about once a month. The week that I met Ava was too much for me to pull out of alone. Rev stayed with me for an entire week and refused to leave until I talked to my therapist. She thought the medication would be enough to pull me out of the slump, and she was correct.
In June, we performed at a four day country music festival thirty minutes from home. We got to meet tons of other famous artists and spend time with friends and family. I included Kate and Marcus with the four day VIP backstage passes we got. They were engaged with a wedding date set for December.
In July, Brad and I applied for our marriage license in Tennessee. At home, the land had been cleared enough for our house and yard, the basement had been dug, and the foundation had been set.
In the beginning of August, we celebrated Brad's birthday at home with Steve, Bre, Ava, Kendra, Andy, Gianna, Kate, Marcus, Tommy, and Clay. I knew I would feel a ton better coming home to a new house without all the grief memories attached to it, and started feeling excited for that.
On the third Saturday in August, Brad and I got married in the backyard of our cottage in Tennessee. Victor moved his wretched RV to the road so Tommy, Brad and I could decorate the yard. He and the normal four provided security for us all day, which I thought was unnecessary, but he insisted upon it. We left the next day for five days in the Bahamas.
Andy gave me away, Steve brought the rings, and other than Andy's and Steve's kids and wives, only Tommy and Clay attended. Sam and Jake didn't approve of Brad or our union, and while I knew Tommy and Clay weren't enthusiastic, Tommy would always support me either way. Clay did still like Brad even though he didn't want to. They had a connection, the same as Brad had with Andy and with Steve. I had invited Kate and Marcus to the wedding but they didn't want to spend the money with their upcoming wedding themselves, which I totally understood.
Brad was in a white shirt, silver skinny tie, and black tux with shiny black shoes. He was gorgeous. I had borrowed a silver tennis bracelet from Andy's mom's collection of jewelry, had on my satin pair of royal blue underwear, my opal earrings Andy had given me, the silver stud earrings from Rev, and my new satin wedge peep toes with the sparkly brooch clusters on the top. I was covered in tradition and also had a part of Rev there with me. Kendra did my hair. I wanted it down because Brad preferred it that way. She curled it in loose curls that were all exactly the same width and shape, then took the sides back in a twist gathered at the base of my head, leaving out tendrils along my face. She clipped tiny sparkling diamond-looking gems throughout the mass of it. From the back, it was stunning. She did excellent work.
Kendra had hired a professional photographer as their present to us and we took tons of pictures with everyone there. My favorite was probably the one with Brad holding Gi, and me holding Ava, both in poufy tutu dresses. Gi's had a purple and silver skirt with a white satin top, and Ava's was exactly the same except for a pink and gold skirt. Kendra and Bre had coordinated and I loved them for that.
Gi had started walking and talking. 'No!' was her favorite word and Uncle Brad was her favorite person. In addition to the basic normal first words of 'mama', 'dada', and 'no', she also called Brad 'UCK'. She couldn't say Brad and Uck was as close as she could get to Uncle. Everyone thought it was hilarious and adorable when she extended her arms to the sky and screamed for Uck to come pick her up. He always did so with a toss in the air and a kiss on the cheek that made her squeal and giggle.
I had been seeing Rev in Tennessee about every six weeks, and talking at least weekly, but he was silent and absent the entire month of August. I knew why and let him have the space. It hurt me that I was hurting him. In September, he resumed communication, and he stopped by to see me at the cottage the second week. He actually cringed when I touched him with my left hand, glaring at my wedding ring, so I took to leaving it in it's box on my dresser when he was around.
At the end of September, I took a week off to paint, decorate, and move us into our new house. Since it was only Brad and I, we didn't need a giant house, but we also wanted people to be able to stay with us, specifically nieces and nephews when they visited. So we ensured the basement had two spare bedrooms and a large open space for games or whatever. We would decorate that later because I wasn't sure what I envisioned right now. The main floor had an office off the front entry to the right, bathroom and spare bedroom to the left, then the entry opened straight ahead to the living room, with kitchen and dining room to the right of that. The back of the house off the kitchen was a beautiful, large deck, like Andy's, which also was built into a hill like his so there was a walkout from the basement underneath.
Our master bedroom and bathroom was the only thing on the second story, with a little walk out deck, as well. I felt about eighty percent done decorating and unpacking by the time I went back to Tennessee at the end of that week, and I left Brad lists of things to do while I was gone. I would continue chunking away at things when I could pop back home.
We celebrated Gi's first birthday in October along with mine, scheduled for a weekend I could be home in between our two birthdays. At twelve months, she was full of sass and fury, and Brad constantly joked that she was my mini me. She didn't like food or dirt, but she enjoyed animals and bossing her little friend Ava. She had brown hair in soft ringlets with gold highlights, and her eyes had transitioned to beautiful large emeralds dispersed with gold and brown flecks.
Kendra and Bre slowly became good friends, eventually closer with each other than I was to either of them. I felt hurt and excluded, but I couldn't blame them. I wasn't around much, nor was I available to talk often, nor did we have anything in common anymore.
They both got pregnant again in December, and they both told me on the same weekend in March, though not at the same time. Kendra was due the end of August and Bre was due early September. I handled it better than I had the first time, but as it was, I had to call Rev to get me the fuck out of there. After Bre told me she was pregnant, in a panic, I confronted Brad about the last time he had been with her, terrified it could be his, and he assured me they hadn't done that since before she had Ava, and then not again until she confirmed she was pregnant. He knew they were trying and didn't want that risk, either. I asked if that meant he had found out right away and he said yes, and then asked if he'd been sleeping with her since and he said yes. That hurt my heart badly. Rev happened to be up north when I called and was able to get to me within hours after we talked, picking me up at our new house. Brad gave him a tour before we left, which was really strange, but I appreciated their kindness to one another for my sake.
In May we celebrated Ava turning one. She was a sweet, calm, good-natured girl, who was always smiling with dimples in each cheek and tolerating Gi's bossing. She had straight, white blond hair and large, soft brown eyes. She was tall and sturdy, the same height as petite Gi, who was seven months older.
'Uck' had stuck for Brad, so Ava called him that, too. Both girls called me 'PeeGee', which thrilled Steve to no end. I loved them both immensely but sometimes I could almost see my son with them while they were playing, and it brought me to tears every time.
I stuck around for Drew's due date after Ava's birthday, visiting his grave with Steve as usual.
Life was...good, I think. It was strange and painful, and some aspects never changed, like the grief I felt for Drew and the pain I felt from missing Rev, but other parts were so incredibly wonderful. I loved singing and was overwhelmed by our success. I loved all of the people I had in my life, and despite the periodic bumps, I loved being married to Brad.
I was thankful that I still had Rev in my life regardless of how, and I cherished the family I had around me, which included those not related by DNA.
I had no idea what the future would hold. Really, who does? Nothing that had happened in my life so far was anything I would have predicted. I focused on living one event at a time, and soaking up all the positive rays of light and love I could. That stuff is what carried me through the dark and hard days ahead.
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* Thank you for reading through to the end! Please vote one more time so other readers can find this story! Paige's story continues in 'Whiskey River, Drown My Soul'. *
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The Neverending Hangover
Romance*Second in the Fire Whiskey series* 'I had been amazed at the connection Brad and I had, and our connection was inexplicable, but this with Rev was something else. It was different but just as impressive. Was I cursed or blessed to have two amazing...
