Chapter Five

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Brittany and Bre had convinced me to speak to Brittany's husband, Adam, about singing in the band at church. Adam was literally tall, dark, and handsome. Like his wife, he was friendly and affectionate, very easy to talk to and get along with. He assured me that we could simply try it out with no commitment and see how I liked it. Then he asked if he could hear me sing. Of course, I knew that would happen. I had to get comfortable singing in front of people effectively if I was going to do Steve and Bre's wedding, which was partly why I was considering doing church.

I quickly flipped through my playlist.

"Any Christian song?", I asked him.

"Yeah, whatever song you connect with and feel like showcases your style", he said.

I found one of my favorite songs by who was my favorite Christian artist.  I turned it up, then set my phone down, and walked a few paces away from the three of them. Bre was smiling, expectantly. I gave her a smile and shut my eyes.

When the best of me is barely breathin'
When I'm not somebody I believe in
Hold onto me

When I miss the light the night has stolen
When I'm slammin' all the doors you've opened
Hold onto me
Hold onto me

Hold onto me when it's too dark to see you
When I am sure I have reached the end
Hold onto me when I forget I need you
When I let go, hold me again

When I don't feel like I'm worth defending
When I'm tired of all my pretending
Hold onto me

When I start to break in desperation
Underneath the weight of expectation
Hold onto me
Hold onto me

Hold onto me when it's too dark to see you
When I am sure I have reached the end
Hold onto me when I forget I need you
When I let go, hold me again

I could rest here in your arms forever
'Cause I know nobody loves me better
Hold onto me
Hold onto me

I loved that song. It spoke to the most desperate time in my life and how I had been transformed since. I poured my soul into it as I sang- the only way I knew how to do it well.  I heard the pain and desperation in my own voice as I did it but it was what it was. If Adam didn't like it, I could sing another.

I opened my eyes when I finished and met Bre's. Her large, dark eyes were filled with tears and at least one had run down the side of her cheek. I knew she knew what I was singing about. Brittany had both hands covering her mouth and tears pouring down her face, which I had learned was pretty typical for her. Adam looked touched and surprised.

"Wow, Paige. That was...just wow", he said. "Girl, we would be lucky to have you. I'm not exaggerating in the least. I am impressed. Please consider this. Like Bre said, it will help you ease back into singing in public".

"When do you practice?", I asked.

"Six to eight on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, and Sundays at eight in the morning if you're performing that week's services. We all rotate through".

"Okay. I'd like to try", I said.

"Fantastic!", he said. "Can I hear another?  Only because I want to?"

Bre and I laughed.

"Oh, yes, please, Paigie!", Brit pleaded.

"All right", I laughed.

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