Chapter Forty

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I dropped Brad off at work so I had a vehicle to drive, then went to visit Kendra and Gi. Kendra went to run some errands while I was there and even got a nap in before I had to pick him back up.

I had called Steve around noon, hoping I would catch him on lunch.

"Paigie?", he answered.

"Hey, Steve. Sorry I cried".

"It's okay, hun. I'm sorry I made ya cry. If I would have known it was going to be so upsetting...well, I guess I still woulda asked but maybe alone instead".

"I'm really touched you guys think we would be best suited for the job", I assured him, "and our answer is yes".

"Oh, honey, that makes me so happy!", Steve said, sounding choked up.

"I know I'll love your child when they're here, the same as I love Gi. Pregnancy is really hard for me to deal with is all. That has nothing to do with how I feel about any of you. I love you both so much".

"We know, hun", he said. "Really, we get it. Thank you. You would both be excellent parents. Are you sure-?"

"Steven, we are not adopting", I cut him off. "We have to make a conscious choice to do this and it's a long, hard road. Like Brad said, if we aren't each one hundred percent committed then the answer needs to be no. It's no".

"Okay, hun", Steve said. "I gotta get back to it. Love ya".

"Love the shit out of you", I said with a smile.

...........................................................................

Brad took off a couple hours early so we could find me a new vehicle. We decided on another Durango. This one was black and used, but it was fine. By the time we were done filling out paperwork and paying it was supper time.

"Wanna stop somewhere to eat?", Brad asked.

"I'd rather not spend the money", I sighed. "We've been spending so much in Tennessee".

"Do you know what we have to eat at home?", he asked with a smirk.

"Yeah, not much". I hadn't been grocery shopping yet and Brad didn't really do much of that himself.

"So.....sushi?", he asked with a grin.

I laughed. "Fine. Meet you there".

We stopped to eat at a Japanese restaurant which was on our way home.

"Tomorrow I need to leave a little early for us to do therapy", Brad thought out loud. "So, let's go look for rings Wednesday when I'm done with work", he said. "I'd guess most of them are open in evenings, but will you look up the ones in the area and make us a list of where you want to go?"

"I will", I said with a smile. "I'll also get groceries tomorrow".

"Thank you, baby", he said with a smile.

...........................................................................

Therapy was rough. We both cried. Brad admitted he was still incredibly hurt and angry. He wanted to beat Rev to death, and if he thought about things too much, he had a hard time physically being with me.

That really stung, but it was honest, and he had a right to feel that way.

We talked about how I had turned to Steve and Rev when I felt like Brad wasn't available for support, and how I needed to commit to speaking up to Brad immediately when I started feeling like that. Brad then commented that he thought Rev was a huge factor in why I was thinking that way, and my therapist agreed that Rev's opinions had influenced my perspective of Brad, but I refused to let him take all the blame for that. My thinking was off before Rev came into the picture.

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