Secret Spy Diaries #Wattys2016

Realisations

A/N
*ducks behind hagrid*
I know. I am sorry, I kept you hanging. In my defense, I had a lot of studying to do, and so little time... Forgive me? Also, it's my friend, Ayman's birthday today. Happy birthday Ayman!
Yeah. So the chapter. Here it is.
Vote/comment/follow.
------------------------------------------------------------
Ten days later
I find the concept of time extremely intimidating. To believe that there is something you can't control under any circumstances is scary. Knowing that there is something which always makes its presence felt, mocking you about how insignificant you are to it, scares the hell out of me.
And I have never felt so aware of the passing of time untill now. The feeling of utter helplessness surges through me, as I desperately make attempts to freeze time.
The rhythmic tick tock of the clock in my room is making me feel restless. I don't want to be here. I can't be here! The team and the commander are being held hostage in Paris and we have absolutely no idea where Mr.G is. And am I doing anything to find out? Nope.
I am in this hospital room with a bazillion needles puncturing me skin, stuck up with a nurse who visits me every half an hour to ask me in her nauseatingly sweet voice if I need anything and to check me IVdrip or whatever this dang thing is called.

Yep. Hospitals freak me out.

But strangely, this one does not seem that bad. I have had my fair share of hospital visits, throwing all sorts of tantrums, making the doctors question my sanity.
But this one is different.
The moment I opened my eyes and realized that I was here, I have been strangely calm. Its like there is this weird sixth sense that's telling me that everything's going to be okay. There's this nice, wholesome feeling that is making me wince less when someone punctures my skin. It's this weirdly calm music that plays in my head telling me to cool down.

Yep. Bring on those judgemental stares.

Its been almost ten days since the incident at tge railway station. Bullets riddled my waist and my ankle. Though my ankle does not hurt that bad, my waist is killing me. Everytime I try to move, terrible pain shoots through my waist, forcing my breathing to become ragged and tears to pop up in my eyes. I want to shut this pain away and go help the team and the commander. And of course Mr.G.

But honestly? I am scared. Getting shot has confined my movement. What if I won't be able to walk properly? What if I wont be able to walk at all?

I am so busy in imagining and building up scenarios that when there is a knock at the door, I feel like I am pulled down to reality.

"Come in..." I manage to say with all the strength I have.  But when he enters my room, I feel like someone has punched me in the gut, and I am stunned.

It's him.

I realize why I have been feeling so good about this place. My sixth sense wasn't wrong.

It's Jake.
Oh no wait. It's Dr.Jake Stone.
My ex boyfriend.

He isnt the usual jealous ex you read about in books. Our relationship ended on an okayish note, if not good.

He is momentarily confused, but then in a flash he realizes who I am and smiles weakly.
But his eyes have already caught my attention. They are the perfect shade of brown, my favourite colour. During the course of our relationship, he had always complained how I loved his eyes more than I loved him.
My mouth is probably open, but who cares. My eyes take in his appearance, even the tiniest of details. How one of the cuffs of his shirt is undone. How his hair is a little messy. How sleep deprived he looks. Every. Single. Thing.

Nope. I am not checking him out. I am just...doing what every spy does, right? Observing him. Like I did with Rupali the first time we met.

Except my heart wasnt threatening to burst out any second.