The First Steps (A Hunter Hayes Fanfiction, Book 1 of the Hardships Saga)

Chapter Forty-Two

❝nightmare (pronounced ˈnʌɪtmɛː or nahyt-mare), noun
a common symptom among those suffering from PTSD❞

Needless to say, the next few weeks were hell.

"Lilly?" whispered Hunter, three weeks after her ordeal. "Where are you, darling?"

"Here," she said softly, and Hunter came to the bed. He saw that she was wearing her oversized pyjama t-shirt and pants.

"Darling, haven't you gotten out of bed since I left the house?" he asked. Presuming that she had been asleep, he had left her there at eight am, but now it was almost nine pm.

"I can't do it, Hunt. It's too hard."

"Please," he said. "Please come out of bed."

"Leave me alone."

"Petal-"

"Piss off, Hunter! Jesus Christ, can't I get any sort of privacy around here?!"

He swallowed, fighting the tears that were threatening to make an appearance. "Okay," he mumbled, walking out of the room, as Lilly let out a choked sob.

"I'm sorry, wait! I'm being such a bitch-"

"You're not a bitch. Don't ever call yourself that," he said, as she cried. "Wait here for a moment. You're undernourished."

He came back a few minutes later with toaster waffles. "Honey?"

She didn't respond.

"I made you waffles, love. Please eat something."

"Not hungry," she said very quietly.

"Please eat something, my love," he said. "I love you, and I hate seeing you like th-"

"Get used to it."

He didn't say a word and just left the waffles on the bedside table for her to eat. She didn't say anything, but then eventually sat up and began to eat the waffles. But she barely took a bite- she nibbled on one and left the rest as they were.

"C'mon, love, you can eat more than that."

"I'm not hungry."

He sighed, leaning against one of the four posters around their bed. Then, he stood and closed the curtains around it, the way they did when they were sleeping. She looked up, looking nervous.

"If I talked to you, would you feel better?"

She brought the covers up around herself. "I dunno."

He went closer, and she flinched. "Please-"

"Hey, hey, I'm not gonna force you into anything," he said gently. "I promise."

Her breathing was unsteady. "H-Hunt, get away, please stop-"

"I won't hurt you," he said, tucking a strand of her red hair behind her ear. "I would never hurt you."

He went up to her slowly, prying the blanket out of her small hands. "I've got you," he murmured, beginning to kiss the bruises riddled up and down her arms. "I'll never let them hurt you."

Her eyes were closed as he gently kissed each and every cut and bruise on her arms, neck and face. She could feel herself being healed, somehow, but she was still scared. She knew he would never hurt her, but she was irrationally fearful- why?

"I love you so much, and I hate seeing you like this," he whispered. "I want to fix you. Please, please let me fix you."

"I..." she trailed off as Hunter began to kiss the bruises on her neck. "Hunter-"