《 It's Been A While 》Steve Rogers X Reader

~ Chapter 25 ~

Y/n Jay's Perspective

At this point, Rule #8 is completely out the window. I mean, I'm literally sitting at Steve Rogers' dinner table at midnight. Sharing French toast with him. With puffy eyes. Holding his hand.

Steve takes the second fork next to the plate and chunks off a piece of French toast. We eat together in silence for a second.

He was so kind, letting me in his home this late at night with no explanation. And he seems genuinely worried for me. About me. I can see the tears falling before I feel them.

"Hey, hey," Steve squeezes my hand in his and I stare at the tears that fell on his table. He uses his other hand to gently wipe those trickling down. "I'm here to help, but I can't do anything if I don't know the problem..."

I nod and clear my throat. "Could I get some water..?" My voice sounds so fragile like glass. I hate it. I hate being so vulnerable. Steve nods and returns to the table with a glass filled halfway.

Taking a moment to calm myself, I look into his eyes and study Steve. Just feeling his presence calms my emotions.

"What I told you," as I start Steve gives me his fully undivided attention. "About Rumlow wasn't... the complete.. truth.."

"Okay..." Steve is patient with me. "Do you want to tell me the truth? Or do you just want someone here with you?"

I swallow my nerves. I've never told anyone about my problems with Rumlow. Fuck, Maria is the only one that knows about our relationship. I should just keep it to myself, I'll get over it. I always do.

But, it wouldn't be terrible to have someone to share this weight with. I readjust my hoodie and prepare to break down my walls. Expecting it to be a messy, embarrassing process as a wrecking ball forces its way in, blinding my insecurities with a judging and harsh light.

But, Steve won't let me use such a destructive method. He guides me through taking the walls down brick by brick---slowly and carefully he introduces his warmth and kindness to my problems and worries.

The more I talk, the easier it is to reveal more; take more than one brick down at a time.

I tell him everything.

I tell him about Rumlow's need for control. His abusivness. His selfishness. How inconsiderate and jealous he is. The way he takes out his anger on me over the simplest things and never let's me defend myself. Verbally and physically.

"So that's why you were bruised..." he looks at my hands, currently playing with my fingertips. It calms me down.

"That night, you said you heard arguing... what... what exactly did you hear?" I met his gaze and I can see him hesitate. He rubs the back of my hands as he speaks in a hushed tone.

"I heard Rumlow yell at you... and you yelling back..." His eyes trail away from my face and towards the table. "I couldn't make anything out. Then it got quiet... and then there were loud crashes and thuds which I assume was--"

"Yeah." I look at our hands. Mine weren't that small, but his were definitely bigger. Steve takes a second and continues.

"And then I heard Rumlow call you... a slur..." he hesitates before saying "slur," obviously uncomfortable about the situation.

"Just the slur or with context?"

"Just the slur. That part was particularly loud..." I squeeze his hand and he does the same in return. Steve sighed before shaking his head.

"Y/n I am so upset that you had to go through that. Especially by yourself. You said no one else knows?" I shake my head. He looks at me for a second.