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CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN reversing the irreversible
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THE NEXT FEW days had blurred into one, unfortunately conscious, nightmare. Where I wasn't drowning my feelings with any form of alcohol I could find, I was chasing down my hurt with copious amounts of stale Raisin Bran- the only food we had left in the house.
On the rare occasion I managed to peel myself from the couch, I suffered under the ice cold of the shower, setting a different scene for my eternal cycle of mind-fucking to continue. With the variety of thoughts I could've chosen to torture myself, nothing compared to how I felt when thinking of him.
That always seemed to be the case. No situation I had lived through went complete without Rafe resurfacing in my mind, even if he was right in front of me. I had spent every conscious moment thinking about how I needed to run but, now that I had, I only realised that I'd gone too far.
The sound of the phone ringing played on loop as I stepped out of the bathroom, the only towel I could find being clutched around my body. I could only imagine that over a dozen voicemails were left for me to hear, all coming from the same person.
I had let the messages introduce themselves, not finding the strength in me to pick up the receiving end. His spoken words did exactly what he aimed, as I found myself aching for him just like he was for me.
The once desperate need for freedom faded into one for him, the latter gaining a more prominent importance.
My hand took the constantly blaring phone into my hold, knowing that it was about time for me to face the issue I was presented with. Ignoring his calls would lead me no further towards him than I already was and, if I wanted that fact to change, I'd have to learn to forget any fear that came with speaking.
"Hey." I said softly, breaking my pattern of silence from the last days.
"Cami, it's JJ." the voice spoke back to me, an instant drop occurring in my stomach.
I had finally built up the courage to talk, and was only met with one of the people I wanted least.
"How did you get my number? I never gave you guys shit to contact me with." my increasing anger became clear in my tone.
"I asked Mike, the rest of the group don't know."
"You embarrassed of me too? Go fuck yourself, Maybank. I don't have time to waste on you." I allowed my past hatred to rise again, ready to end the call before I went too far.
"Wait! Wait, please hear me out." he pleaded. "I just wanna talk to you."
I took a second to compose my emotions, swallowing any rightful hate I felt for the sake of having the slightest human interaction after my solitary hours. My sigh could be heard from his side of the phone, an obvious green light for him to continue talking.
