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CHAPTER TWENTY TWO paint me blue
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WHAT HAS HE he done to me?
What has Rafe Cameron done to me, I repeated to myself.
I stared emptily at the ceiling above me, only the thought of the question remaining after he left. He told me to get an early night, tucked me into bed, and went. All he left me with was the thought of him, and nothing else.
Matter of fact was, I couldn't fall asleep- even if he asked me too. Sleep wasn't an option after tonight, not after everything that had happened.
Moonlight casted in through my paper thin curtains, illuminating the room ever so slightly. I lay in the same dress I had worn for the whole evening, not finding the strength to take it off myself no matter how many repulsive memories were attached to it.
I wanted to burn the thing; throw it into a bonfire and watch the flames wreck the silk. I wanted every event linked with it to burn alongside it, especially the ones involving Noah.
Every inch of the fabric was coated with footnotes of every horror that had been dealt to me tonight. I couldn't wait to tear it off my body once I regained the strength, ready to never wear it again.
What a shame it was such a nice dress.
My chest expanded as I took in a deep breath, feeling the summer breeze flow through my open window. Even if I couldn't bring myself to sleep, the only thing I had the energy to do was try to erase the thought of him.
I had enough time to face Noah at Midsummers tomorrow, I didn't need to torture myself with my mind on top of everything.
As much as I dreaded the idea of ballgowns and country clubs, Noah's threat reminded me that my attendance by his side was mandatory. Him outing what happened with me and Rafe would simply make matters that much worse, and I didn't need to drive him further away from me than he already was.
Frankly, I wanted to drive him back to me.
I wanted to hold me like he held me a few hours ago. I wanted him to hold me again and again, until his arms went numb from the lack of movement. I wanted him to hold me until I cried my eyes dry.
I simply wanted his touch.
Forever.
If anything, I should've pushed him away at that moment. He had completely fucked over my mind, yet I was still drawn to him like some damsel in distress. I should hate him. I did hate him.
