Forgotten Friend | tomlinson

- ZAYN J. MALIK -

this is not part of the book. this is to honor Zayn Javadd Malik. today Zayn has officially quit the band.

i don't know what to say. ive been here since the beginning, and ive supported them the entire time and im never going to stop supporting them.

at first, i didn't believe it. all the boys have a place in my heart and when zayn left, it was unreal. i can't imagine the band without zayn. i kept seeing everybody posting 'ZAYN QUIT!' or 'RIP ONE DIRECTION' and my heart literally broke. because I cannot imagine it without ZAYN. he is as important as the rest of the boys and without him there is no one direction.

NDNFRJNDCINEIND WHY ZAYN NO BABY
IM SO SORRY WE MADE YOU DO THIS ANDJD
THIS IS A FUCKING DREAM
NONONONONO ITS NOT REAL IT CANTBBE

ive cried, i bawled, i screamed, i punched, ive done everything.

oh, and if anybody tells you its no big deal, if they say your crying for nothing - don't fucking listen. THEYRE MORE THAN JUST A BAND. cry, sob, scream your heart out - let your emotions out because they have no idea what your going through. they don't know how much one direction means to us.

when I first saw it, i was washed with complete sadness. i cried for over two hours and throughout the entire time i felt so empty. i realized that there will be no one direction, no more 5/5 selfies, no more solos... it hurts like fucking hell.

then i got angry. they told us with no fucking warning. they told us out of the blue, and just threw it in our faces. they didn't even tell us in person - they did it through fucking facebook. for 5 years, I think we deserved more than just a facebook post.

but then i discovered that he made his choice today. and ITS NOT HIS FAULT - its ours and the media's fault. obviously there was a lot of stress and we pushed him over the brig. he paid 10£ to get out of the contract - so, he really wanted to leave.

i understand, though. I could never go through their lives and always put a smile on my face because it's tough. but Zayn never, ever wants to hurt us. the last thing he wants is to let One Direction end and for the fandom to break up.

ive gone through multiple emotions in the past few hours - sadness, anger, depression, shock, worried, hopeful, etc. but in the end, IM HAPPY FOR ZAYN. its a tough, tough decision to leave the band like this. obviously, he was in a ton of stress and he just couldn't handle it!

do you know how hard it is to give up One Direction? How tough it was to leave his fans? How painful it was to stop living his dream?

he was a shy, quiet boy when he first auditioned for the X-Factor and look at him now. he's playing sold out stadiums, speaking his mind, and sang his heart out to each one of us. i couldn't be any happier to see how far Zayn has come.

im proud of zayn for speaking his mind and standing up for himself. sometimes you have to put yourself before others, and that's what's best for Zayn. all i want is for the boys to be happy.

don't get me wrong, there will always be a pain in my heart knowing that Zayn left - that there's no more one direction. everytime I'll hear there songs, I'll probably cry. but you just gotta think the other way - this is what's best for Zayn. he's had our back for five fucking years and now, it's our turn. we have to support him and the boys - because the only thing stopping them from being a band is us.

they won't be one direction anymore. they wouldn't be one direction without any one of the boys. but they will still make music and pursue their dreams - just without Zayn.

no matter what, i will always love them.

they've supported me the entire time, and i will forever support them too.

ONE DIRECTION ~ 7/23/10 - 3/25/15

thank you so much for the best 5 years of One Direction, we'll never forget it.