Sweet Odium [BL]

chapter [26]

[Raven]

"Rave, focus!" Jane slowly got impatient and again I had to ask what we were talking about at the moment.

It was early in the morning after what happened yesterday and Jane, Vince, Rune and I were holding something like a secret emergency meeting while the other's were either recovering or comming up with a new strategy to search the ruins of the old Falcon headquarter hospital.

"We were saying that these people from Mellontikos must have known that Rune is from Falcon so they either had a secret informant that we don't know about or Rune's uncle knew about him all along." Vince explained again and I nodded slowly to show my approval. After that silence filled the room again and it felt more pressing than ever especially now that Rune was sitting next to me with crossed arms and a cold expression.

"Seriously, what's wrong with you two today? For this mission we need to work together so get over whatever is going on." Jane's eyes went from me to Rune and back to me again.

"Nothing's going on. We should continue going with the flow for now." I breathed out to end this small session as soon as possible. It was a lie though... of course something was going on.

When Rune had confessed his feelings to me I had thought of it as a joke at first until I realized he actually meant it. For a small moment I had been happy until I had realized that it was plainly stupid of me to give in to it. How could it ever work out between us? I had no guarantee that Rune continued to stick to Inoue nor would he be accepted by anyone of my group. As the future leader, a boyfriend was like a weakness and on top of that I was expected to have children that continued the leader bloodline.

And yet... I knew that I felt something for Rune. When I played that prank on him yesterday I had enjoyed it and the way Rune had reacted made my heart race.
But we weren't fit for each other... if I had told him what I really felt then both of us would end up getting even more hurt because of that.

It was like fighting against myself... I was painfully aware of how I hurt Rune and I still doubted the rightfulness of it but I couldn't go back. For the sake of the mission we should never get distracted.

"I will go back to my room." Rune stated shortly and pushed himself up form the chair so his hair fell down softly. With expecting eyes Jane was nudging me to go after him.

"You still have to keep an eye on him, remember?" She whispered and in thoughts I cried out.

"Vince... could you?" I tried persuading my curly haired friend because I knew he'd understand and even if his eyes told me he'd murder me, Vince still got up and followed Rune out of Jane's and his room where we were sitting.

As soon as they were gone I let my face sink into my hands.

"Hey, I know something is bothering you so get it off your heart for once, will you." Jane pulled her chair closer and patted my back gently. There hadn't been many moments in which I told her about my worries but she had always been there for me... always. So I owed her.

"I mean..." I started trying to find words for what I wanted to say. This wasn't exactly one my strengths so I had to try harder.

"It's probably no surprise to you that Rune... is not exactly like other people to me." I sighed and closed my eyes for a second. This was awkward.

"Yeah, Vince and me have known that form the start. Be honest... do you like him?" Jane curiously asked and I noticed how she observed my every move.

"I don't know. How do you even know that you like someone?" I wondered and already feared that Jane would laugh at me for asking something so immature and clueless. It felt embarrassing in a lot of ways, especially because I had been with a few people before. But it had never felt the same as when I met Rune.