Hurt,Betrayal And Sacrifice

Chapter 28

Dua's P.O.V

"You might already had an idea why I did what I did in past?"
I spoke meekly and eyed Hashir who was sitting in front of me and he nodded averting his gaze from me.

"I had a guess."
He spoke and there was a thick tension between us as he realised what I wanted to talk about.

"My father threatened me he'll divorce my mother if I didn't listen to him and I got scared. I didn't want to lose her when I've already lost my brother and Agha jaan."
I spoke timidly and he snapped his head towards me wide-eyed.

"What the fuck!"
He cursed and give me an unbelievable look and I lowered my head.

"I know this still doesn't give a justification for my past actions but I really regret them Hashir. I'm so sorry."
I spoke as moisture filled my eyes and Hashir give me a sympathetic look.

"You don't have to apologize. I'm sorry Dua I left you alone. I should've tried harder. I should've been there for you but I didn't. I'm so sorry."
He spoke and before he can say anything I engulfed him in a hug.

He had tried everything he could and It wasn't his fault that all of that happened. Maybe our journey was destined to be like this but I didn't blame him for anything and he shouldn't too.

"It isn't your fault Hashir. None of it is. You tried every possible way to be there for me but maybe it was meant to be like this. I don't blame you for any of it."
I spoke and break the hug and he held my hands. I know he was feeling guilty but I didn't wanted that. I wanted to move on and I wanted him to do the same.

"I may not admit it to myself but I want to confess it to you Hashir. I feel guilty and I want to let it all out. I don't want you to blame yourself as it's my fault mainly. I want to tell you that maybe if my father hadn't threatened me I still would have done the same."
I spoke and he looked at me in confusion but still didn't left my hand and I sighed.

"I always craved my father's attention since I was a child. He always told me he loved me and I believed his empty words yet I wanted to have a father-daughter bond with him. He never payed attention to me so I used to do silly things so he can scold me or went to meet Agha jaan to attract his attention. But he never paid any heed to it. It was like me, my mother and my brother we didn't existed in his world. His world only consisted of his business and money and I hated it. But at the same time I loved him so damn much. I just wanted him to love me back no matter what price I had to pay for it.

You know the first thing he demanded from me was to get your signature on property documents. I knew it was wrong and maybe I didn't had a choice but a part of me was hoping that he'll really give me the fatherly love and attention I craved after I fulfill his wish but he didn't. And after almost six years I've realised that how stupid I've always been. To get his love I lost you and it was the most stupid choice I've ever made. Love isn't based on qualities. It's selfless. And I've learned that from you. Despite whatever wrong I did to you. You never stopped loving me and that's how love is supposed to be not like my so called father who believes in using everyone in the name of love even if it's his own kids."

I stopped speaking as tears clouded my vision and Hashir pulled me towards him. He made me sit on his lap and hugged me tightly and I too wrapped my arms around him. No words were spoken between us yet the silence also seems comfortable. But I knew there was still a lot to talk about and I hoped he'll not get mad at me after I tell him about the baby.

"Umm Hashir!"
I whispered and tried to get away from his lap yet he held me down and readjusted me on his lap so that I was sitting side ways and I blushed at the intimate position.