Joel Hokka / Blind Channel - ENEMIES WITH BENEFITS (English)

14 - why not me?

The walk back home felt like an entire eternity, although I had the feeling that I was walking much faster than a few hours ago when I had been on my way to Joonas and even carried the box, that seemed to have gotten me in a lot of trouble.

Joel kissed me and there was no way I could undo it.

My head started to ache when I thought about how the mess I was living in would only turn more gigantic from now on.

Not only because I felt conflicted about the older one with the blonde hair, now more than ever, but also because this kiss created a lot of new problems while I hadn't even dealt with my previous ones.

I had only told Aleksi today that I couldn't reciprocate the feelings he had for me and that alone had been enough to hurt the black haired boy deeply.

There was no way I could ever let him find out that I most definitely started to develop feelings for the man that everybody thought I hated to the fullest.

I still had a bad feeling when I replayed the conversation I had with Aleksi on the phone a few minutes earlier in my head. I didn't exactly know what it was. Maybe it were his very few words, maybe it was the tone of his voice, there was something bugging me.

I was deepened in my thoughts when I opened the front door to our apartment complex with the key that was now mine.

When I saw a young blonde woman that came rushing down the staircase, I held the door open for her before setting foot into the building.

"Thank you." She briefly said and nodded.

The woman had already passed me when suddenly I noticed the shirt she was wearing. It was a tie dye shirt in the colors black and purple that looked exactly like the one that I had bought about a year ago from a small vintage store in my hometown in Germany.

Then I realized that the shirt didn't only look exactly like my shirt, but it most definitely was my shirt. I recognized it by the way the sleeves were cuffed.

"Excuse me why are you wearing my shirt?!" The blonde one turned around in confusion and looked up and down her body before I could see her face turn red in embarassment.

"T-this is your shirt? Oh god I- I'm so sorry I just grabbed the first thing I saw. Are you... his girlfriend? I- I mean he told me he is single, I swear. Otherwise I would have never... I swear I didn't know." The blonde girl was pretty upset and turned into a stuttering mess infront of my eyes. The whole situation was clearly uncomfortable for both of us.

"No, no I am not his girlfriend! We are actually roommates." I clarified and tried to calm down the young woman who I could see was starting to panic by the way she ran her fingers through her thick blonde hair multiple times in a row. That didn't really help considering she looked like a total mess with her wild tangled blonde hair and her makeup that was completely smudged. I could only imagine how that came about.

"Oh. So he is single?" The woman took a deep breath, I could see that her facial expression changed and contained a little more relief than before and therefore a little less panic.

"You know what just keep the stupid shirt." Before the woman could say or do anything further I stormed inside, leaving her behind in confusion again. I truly couldn't care less about her words. All that I could focus on right now was how angry I was feeling and how disappointed I was in Aleksi.

I furiously unlocked the door to our apartment and stormed inside. I slammed the door harder than I meant to but in the heat of the momemt things like that tend to happen. "Aleksi are you serious right now?" The black haired boy was sitting on the sofa, seeming totally unbothered while browsing through Netflix.