I was feeling a little anxious the next day when I sat in the car with Aleksi. We were on our way to the studio and although I told Aleksi that I didn't want to come with him because I still felt awful about how the boys saw me last night he insisted on me accompanying him, so persistently that I had no other choice but to give in. I felt gulity for probably ruining the boys night, I wished I would have just stayed in my room doing that paper work that was now still laying on my desk untouched.
Aleksi pulled into the parking lot of finnvox Studios and turned off the engine of his car. "I have to make a few quick business calls. Here you can use my keys to get in if you need them." He threw the jiggling keys over to me and I catched them with one hand. "Alright." I got out of the car and walked across the parking lot, right towards the door that I had been standing infront of with Joonas the other night. I was still baffled how that encounter had changed my life completely but I was also kind of glad. The only bad thing that came from it was the whole gigantic mess created by Joel.
Speaking of, just as I was only a few feet away from the door, someone opened it from the inside and stepped outside.
Immediately my stomach turned. The anxious feelings that I already had since this morning intensified when I saw Joel looking in my direction. I wasn't ready to face him, especially not alone. There were so many unspoken words that I wanted to throw back in his face but none of them left my lips when my feet slowly but surely stopped walking towards him.
"Oh it's you. I almost didn't recognize you without your red puffy eyes and tear-stained face." Joel said while smiling mockingly at me. He lit up a cigarette and took a deep draw, waiting for a reaction. I just couldn't comprehend after everything that man did, after everything he said, that he didn't feel guilty to the bone. Joel didn't show the slightest sign of remorse, no in fact he was looking just so amused.
"You're unbelievable. How dare you standing there, looking me dead in the eye and make a joke out of this after what you've done." I was suddenly filled with so much anger my voice started to tremble. I cleched my hand into a fist and felt how the sharp ends of the keys were digging deep into my skin, causing pain in my fingers.
"It's not my fault that you can't face the truth. Aleksi deserves better than this and you know it." Joel's eyes were going up and down on me. He was completely calm and showed no sign of emotion or whatsoever, which made me even more upset because I felt the strong need to yell at the man with the blonde long hair.
"Yeah right, because you know what's good for him. Then go ahead, tell him what you think about me. But wait, you know he wouldn't listen to you. After all he's so deeply in love with me remember?" My word's seemed to hit Joel more than any of my slaps ever could. If he thought he was able to keep acting like that and get away with it, he was wrong. If he hurt me I hurt him back just as much. Joel's eyes reflected pure anger and just now I could see the emotionless expression on his face fade away in seconds.
"You think you can just turn up out of nowhere and make everyone like you with that sweet, innocent act you put on. But look at you you're just as disgusting and nasty with your words as I am according to you. You're so fucking pathetic." I hated to admit it but Joel was right. How was I better than him after what I had just said to him? I felt awful.
"No. That's not true. God I hate you!"
I knew I had to get away from this situation before it would escalate, so I panically tried to unlock the front door with the keys that Aleksi had given me. Only problem was I didn't know which key fit and also my hands were shaking uncontrollably. "Oh come on!" I violently tried to press one key after another into the lock, without succeess.
"Go ahead, keep denying it. Deep down you know that I bring out the worst in you and you fucking enjoy it." Finally one of the keys fitted the lock. I quickly turned it around, opened the door and rushed inside. I turned around, looking Joel dead in the eye. Then I slammed the door in his face.
"Don't let him get to you Naomi. Just don't listen to him. He's trying to manipulate you. Don't listen to him." I mumbled while walking through another door that led into the studio, where the other boys were sitting on the couches chatting in Finish words I didn't understand.
My head was buzzing from all the confusing thoughts that Joel's last words had planted in my mind. The harder I tried to push these thoughts away, the stronger they got until I eventually started to believe him for just a few secons. My mind immediately reacted by turning all my mixed emotions into hate towards the blonde one. Hate was and would be the only feeling I allowed myself to feel when I looked at Joel.
"Wow you look exhilarated Naomi." Joonas remarked when I silently sat down next to him on one of the couches. If he only knew what was happening in my mind right now.
"Oh yeah I am just a little tired from yesterday. Aleksi and I stayed up forever sorting things out, you know. But we're good now, everything's fine. I'm sorry I ruined your night." The more guilt I wanted to feel in this moment about how I let them see me yesterday, the more my feelings were overshadowed by the mix of emotions I had tried to surpress when I saw Joel entering the room along with Aleksi.
"No, don't be sorry. It wasn't exactly your fault." Joonas answered and threw a look over to Joel. I didn't dare to look at the blonde one for one second. "If you have something to say to me just say it Porko." Joel raised his eyebrows, looking at Joonas expectantly. "Man we already talked about this. Can't we just forget this whole thing now?" Niko rolled his eyes at their strange talk and once again tried to settle disputes, before their words would result in another unnecessary argument.
"Yes I agree. Let's just focus on music now okay. We have a lot to do today." Aleksi threw in and everyone nodded approvingly.
For a few seconds I was forced to look at Joel and asked myself if there was anything else besides hate that I felt when I looked at him, knowing exactly that I would never allow it.
Right now all my mind should be thinking about was if there were any feelings in me towards Aleksi that I hadn't discovered yet. But Joel kept fighting his way back into my mind even if I didn't want him to. Now I had to sort out more than one problem. One was that I didn't know how I really felt about Aleksi, the other one was that I felt like I didn't seem to hate Joel as much as I should, although he gave me every reason to do so.
Author's note:
First of all thank you all so much for 1k reads! When I started writing this story I really didn't know how many people would be interested reading it but I am so happy and so thankful so many of you seem to like it so much!
I still have one more chapter that I finished today and I'll promise I am gonna upload soon <3.
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Joel Hokka / Blind Channel - ENEMIES WITH BENEFITS (English)
Fanfiction❝ Doesn't it scare you? The things that we both do I am just like you We're meant to be necessary tragedies Enemies with benefits ❞ Her past had led her here, Naomi knew that. This path had been layed out for her by the universe far befo...
