Desire ; Remus Lupin

𝐶𝐻𝐴𝑃 𝑇𝐸𝑅 30

- STARVING FOR AIR

Remus' pov 

"How could you?!" Hermione yelled angrily, her eyes filled with more pain than anger.

 "How could I what? Hermione I didn't do shit! Sana was the one that left me." 

She scoffed, stepping closer. Fury practically pulsating off her veins. "And you didn't think once to stop her?" 

Now that, that's when she's wrong and that's when she triggered me. "Don't you tell me I didn't try to stop her, Hermione." I said, now a little softer, voice filled with agony. "Sana was the only person who ever managed to make me feel like I was worth something. I love her more than you could ever begin to imagine. I would never even dream of giving that up, but she was pretty clear on what she wanted and who am I to stop her." 

Hermione gulped, sent me an apologetic look and took a deep breath. "You're Remus goddamn Lupin. If there's anyone who can get Sana back to her usual self it's you, and please do the 'new her' is really starting to get to me." 

All of this time I thought she was fine, I thought she hadn't tried to contact me for two months because she forgot. 

And god I wish she would've just forgotten. Watching her waste her time in someone like me pains me, especially because she probably feels responsible for everything. 

"I want to see her." I mutter surely. "I'll try to get Isabelle to bring her here." 

"Isabelle?" 

"Her sister." 

I let out the slightest of laughs. "I didn't know she had one." 

***

Sana's pov:

"Sana, love, can we go see Mum? I'm sure you understand that I haven't seen her in ages." Isabelle asked quietly, a hopeful spark in her eyes. A spark I could not say no to. 

I sigh. "Course we can." I whisper. 

But I wasn't one slight bit prepared to face him, the man that manages to drive me insane with just the image of his face. 

The man that I left. 

"You don't have to talk to him." She consoles, lacing our fingers together in a comforting manner. "If you get uncomfortable we'll leave, simple as." 

I gulp. Nod a nervous nod. "I guess so." 

I disliked every single bit of this. The idea of seeing his face again is enough to make my knees weak with so much want, so much desperation. 

And especially so much regret. 

I regretted leaving him, regretted not memorising every feature of his face, not kissing every single inch of his body, not holding him tight enough. 

The hours flew by quicker than I thought was humanly possible. 

We stood right outside Sirius' doorstep, he answered very fast. At first he seemed happy to see me, but his smile, ironically, turned upside down just after he examined my demeanour. "Not doing great are we?" 

I replied with a simple shake of the head. "Then maybe you should leave." 

"Let me in." I stated surely. "Please. I want to do this, and I'm here for my mother anyway." I lied. 

He reluctantly let us in. I greeted my mum warmly but let Isabelle and her have their moment. So I was stuck with the position of 'sit awkwardly in your ex boyfriend's couch'.