Don't Test Me

Chapter 24

After Judy and I delivered lunch to the field I drove into town to run my errands. I went to the hospital to speak with Marc. When I arrived he looked at me like was coming off a yacht. He smiled wide at me, "Oh Margot, thank god! Are you able to come back to work? I can't take Ken's issues anymore. I brought him in for your shifts while you were off and it's been a disaster."

I tried not to chuckle, but I couldn't quite stop myself, "I can come back next week I think. Monday?" He smiled, "Yes please! Oh, thank heaven!" As he turned his back I rolled my eyes. Dana smiled at me from the prep table. I crossed over to her and smiled, "We are having a BBQ tomorrow night. Steaks and stuff, you should come out to the farm."

She nodded, "Sounds like fun. Who else is coming?" I shrugged, "I'm not sure. Some of Seth's friends." Dana looked down at the vegetables she was cutting up, "Do you think Danny will be there?"

I stared at her but she didn't meet my gaze, "I can make sure he gets an invite." She nodded but didn't look up. Before I left I went to visit Charlie. He was so happy to see me he got off his bed and gave me a big hug.

"Oh, Margot, you are a sight for sore eyes. I've missed you. It's been nothing but that damn lemon Jell-O for weeks now." He muttered.

I laughed, "Well I'll be back on Monday and we will set things right again." He smiled, "Good. I also miss your face, it's nice of you to visit me."

I patted his shoulder, "Of course Charlie. You are my friend; I've missed you as well. I'm looking forward to coming back to work. It's been a pretty weird ride but I'm almost healed now."

"You don't have a husband to care for you. I hope you've been alright." He told me. I nodded, "I have a really great boyfriend actually. He's had me staying at his place while I heal. He's a wonderful guy, I'm sure you would like him."

Charlie stared at me with a soft smile, "He better be good to you, Margot. Not every guy is good enough for you." I chuckled to myself, if only he knew he was talking about his own grandson. I'd have to bring Seth around sometime to do the introduction. I was sure it would be a hoot.

After I left the hospital I headed to the Co-Op to pick up some food. As I walked with my cart down the isles I picked up potatoes, peppers, eggs, Sirloin grilling steaks, fresh mushrooms and some sauces. I ended up in the toiletry isle and I picked up a couple extra bottles of my shampoo and conditioner. I decided I would leave them at Seth's place after all. I looked at the various hair dye selection, I knew my roots were showing pretty badly. It was time to colour it up again. I reached for the raven black again, but I stopped myself. I thought about it for a moment before I grabbed a box of chestnut brown instead. It was my natural colour and for some reason I wanted to change it back to my real self. I put the box in the cart and kept moving.

As I crossed down the milk isle I met Calvin. He was holding a basket in one hand and a list in the other. When he noticed me he froze, I could see his face was full of horror. I was careful with my movements; I didn't really want to approach him but I didn't want him to know how much he scared me either.

I forced myself to walk forward, I opened the cooler door and took out some cheese slices and yogurt. Calvin didn't move, he just continued to stare at me. It was as though he thought he was invisible, that if he didn't move I couldn't see him. I realized he was scared of me. I moved further down the isle until I was shoulder to shoulder with him. I stared him down and said, "Hello Calvin."

As I walked past him he let out a heavy sigh. He turned and said to my back, "Margot, I am so sorry for what happened. I didn't mean to hurt you, really I didn't. I was so angry and I lost control. I know you are still mad at me, and I understand why, but I wanted to say I am sorry."

I looked over my shoulder at him, my eyes were hard, "Your apology is fine. What you need to do is keep away from me. You need to learn that no means no. I just want you to keep your distance, got it?"

He nodded, "I understand. I will. Sorry." With that, Calvin moved quickly down the isle the other way, as though he were a rat running for his life. I wasn't afraid of him; I was disgusted by him. Pathetic, I thought to myself.

I sent Seth a text asking him to invite Danny to the BBQ. Seth was curious as to why and I said I Dana had asked if he was going to be there. Seth replied with a stupid arrow through a heart emoji, I sent a barfing one. He laughed at me, which made me laugh out loud. I noticed a couple other people in the grocery store smiled at me. I was laughing at my silly boyfriend sending me silly text messages. When had I become such a girly girl?

When I pulled into the checkout lane and unloaded my groceries onto the conveyer belt the cashier asked for my Co-Op number. I replied, "7114"

I was looking at the silly magazines when the cashier's breath hitched in her chest, "Margie?"

I turned and saw her face. It was the face of a woman I had been avoiding for three years. She stared at me and I stared back. Lesley looked older, her brown hair was going grey at the roots. She wore the same glasses she had when we had placed her in the Dube Centre. She was thinner, but not too skinny. I didn't have words for what was happening, so I just moved my cart down the line and waited for her to scan through my food.

"How have you been?" she asked, realizing I wasn't there to see her. Lesley started to ring my items through the till and pack them into plastic bags. Each time she finished a bag I put it in my cart as quickly as possible.

I didn't make eye contact with her, I just muttered, "I'm good. You?" She offered me a smile but I didn't look up, "I'm good. I moved back into the old house. You did a great job cleaning it, I hope I can keep it up. I started working here last week, just part time but it gives me something to do."

I nodded but didn't reply. I could tell she was nervous; her hands were shaking as she moved the items over the scanner. I tried to regulate my breathing, as I was terrified as well. I wanted to run away but we needed food and I wasn't going to let her make me run out of there like a scared little child.

"I went by your house last weekend but you weren't there. Where have you been?" she asked. I took out my debit card and waited for the total to be sent to the pin pad, I told her coldly, "That's none of your business."

After my transaction went through I put my card back into my wallet and hurried toward the door. Lesley reached over and touched my hand, "Margie, I hope to see you again sometime. You know where to find me." She didn't hold me back, she just touched me but my immediate reaction was to recoil and run out the door. I pushed my cart ahead of me and moved as quickly as I could. When I got out to my car my hands and legs were shaking. I leaned against my hatchback and took deep breaths to calm myself down. It felt like my heart was going to beat right out of my chest.

Lesley had moved back to town, she was working at the grocery store and she wanted to see me. I wouldn't be able to avoid her forever. She was going to be in my life one way or another. I had no choice anymore, she was back. I had no control, I had no say, I was scared shitless and I wanted to hide away where she wouldn't find me.

So, I loaded my car and went back out to Walker's farm. Lesley didn't know about Seth yet; she couldn't ruin that for me. I wouldn't let her. I knew I would have to tell him about her sooner or later, and now that she had moved back to town it was unavoidable. I'd have to tell him my sad story. I didn't want to but if Seth wanted to be with me, to know me, he deserved to know everything. The good, the bad, the damaged and the ugly.