A Cup of Tee' and a lil' dash of honey

Procrastination sucks..

So I ran across this photo and it has me thinking like " Is this something I should consider?"

I'm procrastinating writing this right now when I have an essay due tomorrow but I haven't started it yet.  But the point is that I really wanna write right now like its been bothering me all week and especially today. I just wanted to come home and finish The Fighter's Club off.

Writing is only a hobby for me and while I love my major Biology.  I honestly love this art too.  And lately I've been considering waiting awhile after I graduate this summer and focus on writing. I wanna see where this can take me and I just don't wanna let an opportunity pass me by becoming I'm scared of failing.

It's crazy because I've been dealing with this on my own because no one really knows I write but very few people.  I think I've mentioned it to my mom once and I don't think she knows how serious I am about it. Let alone that I have two full books on Wattpad.. Hell she'll ask me what the hell is a Wattpad??

My writing is like my secret ability I can do anything with..  Like my own personal free space and I just enjoy that freedom I get from creating something from a blank space. Lately school has been taking up so much of my time that I have basically only small amount of free time and I use that to chill and allow my brain to rest before I do another paper or study for a test that's due this week.

I'm so damn ready for Spring Break and I know once I get the job I've been after I'd honestly feel trapped but life is real and so is being broke? And I like nice things bruh lol.

It's just like venturing off into something unknown scares the living sh*t out of me because most writers never really make a living off of their art especially in this day and age. My dear biology is basically CASH CASH CASH AND MORE CASH once you get that degree and it's something I find a love for in middle school through a college prep course for honor students were we were learning college level anatomy and physiology.  I fell in love with science and never really tapped into my natural abilities in literature until now.

Once had a professor of mine actually tell me to consider becoming a writer and I waved it off as like "GIRL BYE!!" I'm fine with biology (this was in high school)  but now I wish I seriously considered it then.

Then it's the pressure y'all like I'm supposed to be like Meredith Grey, Claire Huxtable of my family.  I feel it when my parents talk about my accomplishments,  the way my brother tells me he's proud and things.  The way people look at me when I talk about My GPA. I'm the hope and seeing me walk across a stage with a doctorate would be like a dream come true for us as a family. I don't wanna let them down or myself for a dream that I don't even know where it can take me.

I'm not stressed over it but the closer it gets to the end of the semester, the more these thoughts because prominent.

I wish in a perfect world I could do everything I want or see into the future to know what's ahead of me so I'll know what to do but life is tough and you gotta roll with the punches.