When I See You Again

Beautiful Child

After minutes of sitting in silence alone, Stevie wrapped a black shawl around her and walked into the kitchen. She saw Lindsey out of the kitchen window, sitting outside, his hands supporting his chin as he stared out into the ocean. It was calm today. Stevie watched as the slight breeze tousled Lindsey's brown curls that she loved so much. She walked over to the sliding glass door careful not to make a sound as she just admired him, how beautiful he was. Finally, she took a deep breath and slid the door open. Lindsey turned around in surprise but didn't say a word, instead his eyes fixated back to the horizon in front of him. Stevie walked over and took a seat next to him on the patio sofa. She kept her distance, attempting to read his body language. After a few minutes, Lindsey couldn't ignore her. He turned his body so it was facing her and look straight into her eyes. He clasped his hands together nervously twiddling his thumbs.
"I guess I probably owe you an explanation."
Stevie didn't say a word, she wanted him to tell her on his own time.
"In college- I uh- There was a donation event and you got money for it. I was broke, the band got the gig at The Saloon and I needed a new guitar... So I did it." His eyes drifted back to the view in front of him.
Stevie could almost feel the sense of guilt and shame in his voice. She scooted a little closer to him resting her hand on his thigh for reassurance.
He continued, "Steph I had no idea, I mean I didn't even know sperm could be kept that long, I didn't know it was possible. I mean that was over 10 years ago! I wasn't thinking, I..." Lindsey put his head in his hands, sobbing quietly.
"Linds, are you kidding? Being a donor is nothing to be ashamed about. You helped me. You gave me the greatest blessing, you gave this little girl inside of me life."
Lindsey lifted his head looking at Stevie.
"It's not that I'm ashamed that I did it Steph. I'm ashamed because I didn't think about biologically bringing another being into this world and having to live without them. It's selfish I know, but seeing you become a mom has been the best thing that's ever happened to me. And becoming a father is something I've only dreamed about. I should have taken it more seriously."
Stevie rested her head on Lindsey's shoulder.
"But who would have thought huh? I guess life works in mysterious ways." Stevie laughed in an attempt to lighten the mood.
Lindsey looked at her, tears filled his denim blue eyes. Stevie reached a hand up gently wiping the tears away with the sleeve of her shawl.
"Steph. Wait a minute... Did you say little girl?"
Stevie smiled and shook her head. Lindsey excitedly took her in his arms wrapping around her tight.
"I was waiting for the right time to tell you." She whispered running her fingers through his curly brown locks. "I hope she has your hair. And you eyes. You have the most beautiful eyes, Lindsey Adams Buckingham."
Lindsey pulled away from her embrace slowly and put his nose against hers and closed his eyes.
"I love you. Both of you." He whispered placing a hand over his daughter.