HER SCENT - AMBW (Currently Being Edited)

Chapter Twelve - My Father's Shadow

**AN**

This chapter has Japanese terms if you don't feel like looking them up i will show you what they mean:

Ossu - Hi/Hey (Male Friends)  Musuko - Son(My Son)  Moushiwake Arimasen - Very Sorry  Sayonara - Goodbye Otousan - Father (Close Friends May Use)  Oyasumi Nasai - Goodnight  Haha - Mama  Okaerinasai - Welcome Home(used formal) Chabudai - Traditional Table(Short)  Shitsurei shimasu- Excuse Me  O isogashī tokoro, shitsure shimashita - Thanks for your time. Sorry for disturbing you

Chapter Twelve – My Father's Shadow

The air has defiantly changed since I left home looking at Jun-Jun he seems so happy and free, yet here I am bound to my fathers shadow. "Ossu Hiro why are so quite over there I thought living in the big apple would open you up so much more." He said while trying to keep his focus on the bumpy un-groomed country roads of Japan." I guess I'm in a culture stock being back home it brings so much thoughts and emotions I have suppressed for so many years. Jun i don't know if i can do this" I said as my eyes gazed threw the window while my face prompt on my fist taking in the change that this country has gone threw.

  

The car ride was much more silent than I wanted it to be, but I couldn't help it my mind was thorn one side was my family it's been so long since I seen them, yet my heart was on her I wonder if she has gotten my letter by now I want her to follow me to the end of the world as I would for her am I asking to much of her? I felt the car stop "Ossu buddy we're here look alive." Jun-Jun said he put his car in park , hopped out and helped me take bags out of his trunk and we walked towards my front door.

"It will be okay Hiro this is your home just ring the bell." Jun-Jun spoke words that lingered in my thoughts is this still my home? Am I really home? I couldn't help but ponder these thoughts when I am only half here. I took a deep breath in, closed my eyes and hopped for the best out come I raised my hand and gave a stern knock. We waited...and waited some more "Jun-Jun they aren't home let's just go!" I was truly unset I haven't felt anger in so long it felt like discovering a new feeling all over again and I hated it this feeling filled me up inside. I turn my back towards the door and started walking back to the car thinking Jun-Jun was behind me "Musuko." those words stopped me in my tracks that voice sent a shiver down my back I turn around and I see my mother on her knee's covering her face full of tears all she could say was "Musuko."

I dropped my bag hanging on my shoulder down to ground and I walk towards her seeing tears on her face I did that what kind of man makes his own mother shed such tears I am shameful. My body caved in and I dropped to knee's "Moushiwake Arimasen" she pulled me closer and lifted my face up from being buried in her chest "My love for you has never changed musuko." She whipped my tears using her apron hanging on her waist "Please come inside you will catch a cold." She said I got up and picked her up off the ground and carried her inside.

Jun-Jun grabbed the rest of my bags that was laying in dusty ground and brought them inside "Hiro I will come by again tomorrow you have things to get caught up on and you need rest. Sayonara tell otousan I said oyasumi nasai." He bowed and left. My father I forgot about him he should be home soon am I ready for that "Ren have you eaten?" my mother asked me with her voice risen from the kitchen "Hai haha on the plane." I said " Oh no that food is no good for my son sit I will make you a home cooked meal." she insisted I could never tell her no so I said nothing and let my mother cook for me. The scent of her home cooked meals filled the air in the room it became warm i could see stren waves of the stream floating in the air. I could smell every single thing she added in the pan ginger , pork even the veggies these scents hugged me inside. My anxiety i had while on the drive here was distant memories.

Siting under my chabudai looking around this house i once called home pictures of my mother , father and i fake smiles trying to playhouse deep within my thoughts I heard the unbearable unlocking of the door it was my father I suddenly felt sick to my stomach I could no longer think about eating. A rush of suppressed feeling towards him over the many unhappy years came all at once. Before he stepped inside I shuffled to the front of the door and did the deepest bow "Okaerinasai"  he stopped dead in front of me while to my right my mother tooks his things and showed him to the table.

Not even thank you could quiver off his lips...pathetic. "Ren my son come help your aging mother." she said I got up from the floor "Gomen nasai." I said to my father and headed towards the kitchen "You called for me?" i asked her "hai" she handed me bowls and chopsticks for our rice. I scooped rice for my father first, my mother than myself not even a thank you he looked straight ahead right threw me like i was not even there.

Once I dished out the rice my mother came out with traditional Japanese meal Buta no Shōgayaki Ginger Pork grilled sweet yet with a tangy bite to it  with a side dish of Shiso Gyoza  filled with veggies and beef. "This all smells so good." I closed my eyes and put my hands together with my chopsticks merged in between them. "Thank you for this meal." I clapped twice and dug in this felt right I could see my mother and father quietly eating thirty-five years of marriage and still no words to each other I hated it.

"Haha this meal is delicious nothing like this back at home." I said my fathers faced twisted "Did I say something wrong?" I said with a snarky attitude "Back home is Japan no longer your home? Where you are sitting? the food your eating not from your home?" he said his voiced escalated his words echoed in my head and i blew up i slammed my hands down on the chabudai "I guess my choice of leaving still hasn't sit well with you ... well too bad yes this USE to be my home but that was a long time ago we both know that I no longer live the lie you want the world to see Katashi ." He got up and raised his hand towards me and I grabbed it in mid-air "I am no longer a child." Our eyes locked both sending hidden signals sparks of hate in my eyes was all i could see.

"You both stop this" my mother said softly while still sitting down her eyes were closed hearing her voice snapped me out of war with my father. "Sit down and please eat the food will get cold." She picked up her chopsticks and continued eating the meal she prepared for us. "Moushiwake Arimasen haha." I couldn't eat anymore "Haha O isogashī tokoro, shitsure shimashita." I got up and headed upstairs to my old bedroom. "That boy will never learn."

How could I let him get under my skin have I not learn? Was me leaving here all for nothing! My anger built up even more again and I pushed a whole in my wall. "Ahh dam it" my hand started to turn a washed out red mixed with plum purple i could feel it getting warmer.

  

I say I'm no longer a child yet look at me behaving like one throwing a tantrum raising my voice even punching holes in walls Ren you know better. Once I was able to cool down I spent the rest of the night staring at these same off white walls that taunted me and bounded me to this place. I let out a deep sigh I slipped my hand in my front jeans pocket "Still nothing." I wonder could she hear me call out her name.

**AN**

Sorry guys for such a long update I was super busy but I had some downtime! I used a lot of Japanese terms i wanted to make it feel real I would make the whole conversation japanese but I'm slowly learning so English for now. 

 – Did you guys like me using Japanese terms was it hard? would you want me to keep on doing it? What are your thoughts on this chapter? Ren and his father? I feel like Ren has a lot he has built up and he needs to grow a bit more. I wonder what "HER" he is talking about? I started the fire let's keep it going comment and vote! Thanks again guys! (^.^)/