Never forget how beautiful you are (Gerard Way FF)

Chapter 32: It was never meant to be easy

RYLEE'S P.O.V.

– Are you carrying her or do you want me to? – I heard someone saying.

Was I dreaming? It felt like it, but the voices...they were so familiar...

– I'll carry her to the car, but you're taking her home – hmm...it was a man for sure.

I wanted to open my eyes, but my eye lids were so heavy...

– If that has any sense... – the other man replied.

I felt two hands that lifted me from where I was. The embrace felt so comfortable, and that scent...I totally had to be dreaming in that moment.

I felt the vibration on the chest of the person carrying me. It somehow cooed me back to sleep, but I was able to open my eyes lazily just to see Gerard looking down at me. He smiled softly.

– Go back to sleep – he murmured.

I closed my eyes and rested my head comfortably against his chest.

~»~

The next thing I knew was the next morning when I opened my eyes and stirred just to realize I was in my bed.

I sat down frowning but then remembered that scene in my mind.

<<Maybe it wasn't a dream>> I thought, and couldn't help but smiling at that thought.

Did that meant Gerard and I were okay?

But my smile was soon replaced with a frown again.

If Gerard and I were okay, why wasn't he with me?

I sighed as I uncovered my legs and stood up. While going downstairs I could smell pancakes.

A little spot of hope appeared in my mind as I practically ran downstairs and into the kitchen.

– Ge...? Oh, hi Jamia – I sighed while my hope was trampled and sat down on a chair.

Jamia looked at me and smiled kindly but you could see the pity in her eyes. I hated when people did that.

– Do you want some pancakes? – she asked breaking the silence that had been established between us.

– Sure – I nodded and when she gave me the plate. I stood up and went to the living room.

She must had felt that I wanted to be alone, because she didn't follow me.

I didn't know if she thought I couldn't hear her or what, but she had a not-so-pleasant conversation with someone, I guessed Frank, at the phone about me, so as soon as she ended, I stood up, taking the plate with me, and went to the kitchen.

– Jamia, go to your house – I said as I left the plate in the sink.

– What? Why? – She asked surprised.

I turned around and I must had had a terrible expression, because she just nodded and left after taking her jacket.

That earned me a call from Frankie asking what was wrong, but for once I convinced him to stay at his house and not to come to mine.

I really wanted to be alone.

I ended up disconnecting the phone and turning off my mobile phone; then just lay on the couch and watched TV for the rest of the day.

~»~

The sound of keys made me stood up frowning and went to the doorway.

– I thought I said I wanted to be alone – I groaned as the door was opened.

Gerard stood there, looking at me blankly. My eyes wide open.

– I just came to leave some things, but I can go if you really want to be alone – he said as he left the keys on their usual spot.

– N-no! I mean...it's your house too, you don't have to go – I scratched my head uncomfortable.

He just nodded and went into the kitchen.

I sighed and covered my face with my hands for a moment, forcing myself not to scream.

<< Stupid stupid stupid >> I repeated to myself.

– Are you hungry?... Are you okay? – Gerard asked as he popped his head out of the kitchen and stared at me.

I uncovered my face and nodded.

– Yeah, I'm okay, and...no, I'm not hungry – I denied the last part.

I haven't been eating much lately. If I was honest, breakfast was the last thing I ate that day.

– Have you have lunch? – he narrowed his eyes.

I denied with my head.

– Then you have to eat something – he sighed, returned to the kitchen and starting to make noise with something.

I frowned and walked in the kitchen.

– I'm not hungry – I protested.

He looked at me with a "don't argue with me" expression and continued what he was doing.

~»~

And I did end up eating spaghetti. I swore Gerard loved spaghetti.

– Can I ask you something? – I looked up from my plate.

He nodded as he swallowed.

– Are we back together...? – I bit my bottom lip hoping for some good news.

Gerard raised his eyes and stared into mine.

– Tomorrow I have a date with a girl I met a few days ago – He stood up and left his plate in the sink.

I bit so hard I tasted a little bit of blood. Fuck.

Fuck everything.