Never forget how beautiful you are (Gerard Way FF)

Chapter 27: Sometimes when I think, I just need a drink

RYLEE'S P.O.V.

I knew we weren't supposed to do that, but it felt so good. Like, my lips matched his perfectly. I was about to tangle a hand in his blond hair when he stopped me and separated.

I looked at him with desire, but the look of guilty in his eyes told me to stop.

– This is wrong, in so many ways – he said covering his face with his hands.

I didn't say a word. I didn't know if it was because of the ashame or because of the sadness.

– You're meant to be with Gerard, not me – he murmured.

I frowned.

– I'm not meant to be with someone I don't love – I crossed my arms over my chest.

– That's not what I'm trying to say – he looked up at me and sighed.

– Then what? – I asked raising an eyebrow.

He remained silent for a moment.

– I understand you don't want to be with me, but that doesn't give you the right to say that – I denied with my head, playing with my fingers.

He took my face with both of his hands, making me look at him, at those blue eyes...

– Look, I'd love to be with you, you'd be the perfect girlfriend, but I know deep inside you love Gerard – he let his hands fall from my cheeks.

– I can't remember Gerard – I murmured, resting my chin on my hand.

– That's going to change sooner or later – he replied. He seemed too sure of himself.

– But I can't remember you either – I looked at him directly in the eyes.

Bob didn't say a word.

– I'd been looking through all the photos but I can't remember you. What I know is that I feel something for you – he stared at his feet.

The room was in silence for what seemed ages, neither of us saying a word. How was I supposed to convince him?

He suddenly reached out for one of the photos that were on the little coffee table. I looked at it to see it was the one were Gerard, Bob, Frankie, Ray and I were half hugging each other. Frankie and I had silly faces, Gerard and Ray were laughing at us and Bob had a smile on his face but you could tell he felt uncomfortable.

– I don't like being in front of the camera – he smiled, his eyes in the photo but his mind apparently miles away.

We continued sat on the couch, Bob murmuring things and me, well I just listened since I didn't have any memories to share.

~»~

I looked down at my hands, knowing he wouldn't be with me. It hurt, but I knew he did it for a good reason, or what he thought was a good reason.

Suddenly a music sounded out of no where, and I looked up just to see how Bob took his phone out of his pocket.

I'd heard that song in somewhere else, but I couldn't place it. He looked at the screen, frowned, stood up and made his way to the back yard, letting the door open.

I looked at the clock that was in the wall next to a drawing of the killjoys. Frank showed me the photos and the comics one afternoon in the hospital.

Almost 2 pm. Gerard would be here sooner or later. I didn't want him to come yet. I wanted to be with Bob some more but I knew that almost in the moment Gerard put a foot in the house, he would go, escaping from the weird situation.

And I was right after all.

As Gerard came in the house saying 'Hello' loud enough for us to hear it, Bob came in from the back yard and stared at me.

For sure Gerard noticed something was wrong, because he asked it almost immediately he saw Bob and I staring at each other.

– Nothing – I murmured as I shrugged, and lay down on the couch, uncomfortable with the situation, looking at the TV.

– If you don't need me, I'll go. I have some issues to resolve. I'll see you on Friday – Bob said and after Gerard nodded, he left the room and the house.

GERARD'S P.O.V.

I looked at the door and then back at Rylee. She was watching the TV, curled up like a little girl.

– Hey – I said loudly enough for her to hear it as I sat on the edge of the couch, resting a hand on her back cautiously.

She directed her gaze from the TV to me, not removing my hand from her back or anything.

– Is everything okay? – I asked rubbed her back slowly, trying to comfort her.

But as I already sensed, there was something wrong.

Her eyes soon were filled with tears; she tried in vain to wipe them off.

– You know you can tell me – I reassured, but she denied.

– You don't understand it. I can't remember you, either Bob – I continued moving my hand in circles, letting her cry if she wanted to; if she needed to.

I knew she was having a hard time with not remembering people and things, but there was no point in taking it so seriously. She had time and we were trying to help her. The doctor had said that she wasn't going to be fine just in some days; she needed time.

– I kissed Bob, and I feel bad now because of him telling me I'm supposed to love you. But I just can't remember it; that feeling I'm supposed to have for you, I'm sorry. I really want to remember because I don't want to hurt anyone – she buried her face in her hands and sobbed.

I stopped moving my hand, staring at her with the blankest expression I'd probably had in my whole life.

She did what?

I blinked twice, noticing I had stopped breathing.

As much as I wanted to scream and yell, I stopped myself. <<Think clear Gerard>> I repeated to myself as I rested my hands on my lap, clenching my fists.

During the whole moment of silence, I thought about the possibility of going to Bob's house and punching him in the face, but I just decided to do what I'd been thinking since I crossed the hospital's doors. I stood up, grabbed my keys, walked to the door and left the house.

I was getting drunk.