Chapter Thirty Seven: BabySitter of the Year

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Jeff POV:

I sat at the table in Grant and Kenzi's nice kitchen, sipping a cup of caffeinated tuna brew. Sounds disgusting I know, but for cats, well, it's better than that revolting thing called coffee, or the flavorless cup of leaves that Kenzi likes to drink. I held up a mirror so I could comb my dark rusty brown and orange hair, displeased that I had to take on my human form to make sure the little runt sized wolfies didn't somehow blow up. I knew if something happened to Kacey or Hayden that Kenzi would have me neutered. And I rather liked my testicles. I heard crying from the nursery where the two midgets were, and I groaned.

"Baby sitter of the year, right here." I grumbled as I got up and walked over to the hell hole that was the baby realm in which I knew my ears would be swatted and my tail would be pulled. At the very least, if they're still alive when Grant and Kenzi get back, I should get a gallon sized bag full of catnip. Because I didn't know the first thing about taking care of babies, let alone babies that would randomly shift into pups and become my most despised enemy. Puppies. They were worse than human children. Sure human children were annoying, and pulled your hair and tail from time to time, but I admit, they were kinda cute when they giggled at you and cuddled into you. But puppies. Dear god. Not only were they beyond stupid, but they barked so high pitched, loud, and so often that I swore my ears bled, they pee and poop on everything, not realizing that a litter box is located directly in front of them, or one of those wee wee pads that some humans use to potty train the dumb mutts. They also trampled you more often than not. You'd be settling down in a soft warm pile of blankets, letting the sun sparkle out into the room, onto your fur from the window, and then- BAM! The puppy would pounce you and begin to chew your ear and way that death tail of theirs as they humped your back. I pinched the bridge of my nose. And werewolf pups were notorious for unpredictably changing from a cute gurgling baby human to that terror of fluff. I opened the door to the nursery, praying that I don't get vomited on, or have any other bodily fluids or... waste... flung my way. I pulled out my cell phone as an idea sparked up in my head. I dialed the number, feeling like a genius as I held the ringing phone to my ear.

"Hello, Jeff, baby." I heard Monica Thurlaine purr into the phone.

"Hey Moni baby," I mused. "You like babies right? Like you know how to take care of them?"

"What the actual fuck." Monica stammered. "Oh god you fucked a pregnant cat again didn't you?"

"No... Not recently anyways." I chuckled. "I'm staying with Grant Lewis... You know the werewolf?"

"Oh god. Why are you with those weird things again?!" Monica shrieked.

"Because... Well... He has good trash, and lots of nice are in this area. I don't have to do a lot of work to eat a lot," I explained. "Remember this is the king of laziness you're talking to, sugar."

"Okay so where do the babies come in?" Monica asked in worry.

"Well Grant finally found his mate, a whole hell of a lot of chaos has been going on, but they have twin pups, and they went off to fight some war, and I'm left with the stupid lumps of skin, and I'm panicking and I don't know what to do." I explained in one breath.

"I'll be there in a second. Just don't drop them or light them on fire." Monica groaned into the phone.

"Are you driving here?" I asked out of curiosity.

"No. If I drove there those poor things would be dead by the time I got there. I'm using magic." Monica mumbled. And just as she said that, she appeared right in front of me, making me scream bloody murder and fall on my ass.

"Well, for werewolf pups, they're kinda cute," Monica giggled as she picked up Hayden and kissed his forehead. Hayden gurgled and smiled, hugging himself into her large breasts.

"Hey those are my boobs, you fiend!" I yelled at him. He started to cry and Monica glared at me.

"He's just a baby. He doesn't know what boobs are. All he knows is that I have something big and squishy on my chest and it's nice to snuggle them." Monica snapped. "Pick up the girl, they probably need food."

"So like steak?" I asked in confusion as I reluctantly lifted Kacey into my arms. She smiled at me and touched my face, reaching up to my orange cat ears and tugging on them.

"No, like milk you idiot. They don't have teeth yet." Monica rolled her eyes. "I swear you're hopeless."

"Well thanks for helping me." I mumbled.

"Sure thing." She smiled. "Maybe once we've got them settled into bed we can use the master bedroom for some... Fun."

"God how are you horny all the time?" I smiles at her.

"I'm only horny around you, you player." Monica purred.

"Works for me, pussycat." I winked at her.

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