Second HeartBeat (A7X - Synyster Gates & Zacky Vengeance)

26 GoodBye

August 16th. Less than a week until supposedly the best day of my life. Mine and Zackys wedding. However my thoughts couldn't have been further away from the subject.
Tonight was Mr V's stag night, him and the guys had decided on a weekend on Vegas. I had invited Roxy and baby Harmony over as I knew they both hated it when Matt was away from home. As much as Matt hated being away from them.
My phone vibrated on the coffee table next to the sofa, distracting me from watching Toy Story 3. It was a text. I flipped open my phone to see who it was from.
Brian.
'Remember Rhino. You have until tomorrow x'
I threw my phone back down onto the coffee table, causing Roxy to jump.
'Who was that?' she asked
'Oh nothing, it was just a network service text' I lied. 'Hey are you both alright for a bit if I nip into the garden for some air?'
'Sure, is everything okay?' Roxy looked concerned.
'Yeah don't worry, I just need a little air that’s all.' She nodded. I left the room and grabbed my note pad and pen as I left to go sit out side on the deck.
It was a beautiful night, not a single cloud in sky and the moon was full.
The past week since my hen night and the incident with Brian, thing had become a little crazy in my head.
The problem was, after Bri had told me not to go ahead with Marrying Zacky, he handed me an ultimatum. By tomorrow I had to make the choice.
Zacky or Brian.
This was going to be the hardest choice in my life, but I think in my mind I had already decided.
I had been a cow towards Zacky the past few weeks, I had been selfish in letting him carry on planning the wedding when I knew in my own mind, that I wasn't sure if it was something I definitely truly wanted. I loved Zacky there was no doubt about that. But I also had the love feeling for Brian.
The thought of being Mrs Baker and never having the chance to be with Brian, to feel his hands on my body, to feel the love in his kiss. The thought of him with another woman in his life brought me to tears each time.
I was being so selfish and i know it. They deserve better than me. Who was I to split up their years of friendship, their years of being as close as brothers.
I lifted my head from my thoughts to look back inside the house to Roxy, baby Harm sitting between her feet playing with Roxs wriggling fit. I smiled to myself.
For the longest time I had wanted to see her happy, and seeing her in there I knew she was more than happy.
I put my pen to paper:
'Roxy,
Lately I’ve not had the chance to tell you just how much I love you, you mean the world to me. I could have never wished for a better friend. I wanted to tell you that it's not you that should be proud of me, but I'm proud of you. You have a beautiful family now. Thank you for letting me be apart of that beautiful angel that you and matt brought into this world, Harmony. She is by far the prettiest girl I have ever seen. I've never seen you so happy, you've finally found your place where you belong. :)
I often thing of the endless nights we used to spend together, talking and nearly overdosing on ribena and coffee. Random raving times and lets not forget planning our future.
By the time you read this I will no longer be at home, and I am sorry that you will have to explain this to everyone. Earlier this week i was given a choice between the two men I care so much about, i was selfish in leading them on. I have taken the easiest way out, and I just hope one day you, along with my family, will forgive me for what I have done. I have left a little present for each of you, under the stair, it's a scrapbook to remember all the times we have all shared.
Tell Zacky I am sorry, I love him but he does deserve better than me, someone he can call his own, someone that wont lie to him or hurt him.Tell Matt that he better look after my favourite girls, other wise I WILL hunt him down!
Jimmy, The bestest adopted brother and friend any one could have ever asked for. I will miss him so much and it definitely won't be the same without him about.
Tell Johnny that I am glad to have him as my step brother, and i know he will make Lindsay very happy.
And lastly tell Brian I love him.
Forever you will be in my heart.
I love you all!
Emz x x x x '
I wiped the tears that were now flowing freely from my eyes as I placed the note in an envelope walking back into the kitchen leaving the note pinned to the fridge.
I walked into the lounge. 'I’m just nipping to the shop. need anything?' I asked a sleepy Rox.
'Nah ta babe, see you in a bit'
'Yeah, bye Roxy' I whispered as I made my way to my car

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Thank you all for reading, make sure you check out the sequal 'Welcome To The Family!'