Stay Away 2 (sequel to Stay Away) | #Wattys2015

Chapter 30: Miserable

Justin's POV:

My heart is fuckin' aching.

No nightly cuddles, no good morning kiss...

Melissa has been distant as fuck ever since the end of our fights yesterday.

I thought she'd be over it by now, but obviously not.

We normally make up pretty quick...

"Dammit Justin. You fucked everything up again," I mumble to myself.

I fuck up everything.

Every fuckin' thing.

I fucked up and caused my mother to lose her life because of this gang shit. Fucked up my life, fucked up Melissa's life, and fucked up NYC with this gang shit.

Sometimes I wonder how it would be if I didn't have anything to do with the gang.

But, then I come back to reality and realize it's too late and impossible for that bullshit.

Melissa is upset at me because she feels like nothing is getting better.

She wants me to fix things, but I can't. I don't control the gang life. Shit just happens.

If I could, I really would.

I'd do anything for my baby girl.

Anything....

I needed brotherly advice, so I called Za, Chris, Connor, and Khalil.

Za said to just talk to her about it, but I'm afraid to because I think it's gonna start yet another argument. He said if talking doesn't work, the move on.

Chris honestly didn't give a fuck, since he told me he's more of a fuck-and-duck kind of guy, believing in one night stands and shit. So, he wouldn't care either way.

Connor just told me to get her attention. Make her believe that this relationship can work with the gang life if we really try hard enough. He knows I love Melissa, but he told me there could be a possibility in the future that Melissa would want to be over.

And as for Khalil? He feels bad, but didn't really know what to say except for "Don't sweat it."

All their advice pissed me off. All of them added the possibility of Melissa leaving me.

Why do we have to fuckin' jump to that scenario?

It stresses me out.

I don't want Melissa to leave me. If she did, she'd take Bella with her.

I probably wouldn't see my daughter at all.

And I don't fuck around when I say this:

Melissa is my soulmate. She's my everything. I'm not gonna let her walk out the motherfuckin' door because I fucked up once again.

This is my fault.

All my fuckin' fault.

If I could go back in time, I'd rethink twice about joining the gang.

Maybe Melissa would love me more if I did. Maybe she would be happier with me  and wouldn't have any worries.

But, again. That's unrealistic....

It's a fuckin' fantasy, and fantasies aren't and will never be real...

Never.

Melissa's POV:

* Flashback *

I open my eyes and I look around the bedroom, not seeing Justin.

I smell the aroma of bacon, and I smile a little.