Chapter 26 - Lost trust

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From afar, he watched her and calculated her every move. To the way she bit her lip in thought, to the way her eyes sparkled when she was excited, and to the awfully painful end result of her hands touching him that send pleasant shivers straight to him manhood. He wanted nothing more than to fuck her for hours, hold her tiny body against his sinfully tattooed one, and ruin her for any other person who dared considered touching her. He wanted to taint her body and soul with evidence of himself only. He wanted to pull her long blonde strands of hair harshly if she disobeyed him, or if she ever agreed to suck his cock. How good it would feel with her tiny hands and full lips worshipping his cock. With her warm mouth enclosed around the head. As much as he wanted her in every painful way possible, a new and improved version of himself knew that he never ever wanted to harm her. Physically or emotionally. She was precious. But unfortunately, he couldn't control his demons, and somehow in the end, he ended up hurting her. Badly. He relished in the pain of others, but her pain caused his heart to ache for the first time since he was eleven years old. In the end, how can a psychopath control his actions?

~*~

Lost trust

**❤**

Logan ended up staying the entire day over. I had a lot of explaining to do to Bethany since she was to look over me, and having Logan there didn't look too great. But I promised her not to worry, and she ended up staying in her extra room in the mansion the whole afternoon to give us privacy.

We swam in the huge pool in the backyard, playing games in the water, just the two of us. Logan was being surprisingly friendly and warm hearted, changing my entire perspective of him and making me trust him. My thought was that the trip to California really helped me build my trust for him, and when we got back he was still the same. Sweet and caring, not as I expected.

It was as if the harsh and cruel Logan didn't exist, as if it was just a figment of my imagination.

I really hoped it was, and a small and stupid part of me thought that maybe he changed. But how do you go from having a mental condition...to not having one? He was either pretending to be fine, or he really wasn't a psychopath and his therapist's diagnosis was wrong. I really, truly hoped that it was wrong...and that he was just a regular, normal man with issues. Lots...and lots of issues. But nonetheless, normal.

The skies were darkening slightly indicating that it was just past 5pm. I sat on the steps of our huge swimming pool and watched Logan do laps around the pool, so fluidly and smoothly, as if he were used to it. I wondered for a short moment when he could have possibly found the time to master swimming, given his horrible childhood with his monstrous father and the fact that he went to prison almost just a year after he finally escaped his father's grasp.

I stared at his back muscles as he swam, when a sudden sadness overwhelmed me. I felt so sad for him knowing that he has lived through hell his entire life. I was raised like a princess and spoiled rotten my whole life. Meeting Logan had changed my view on a lot of things in life, and exposed me to all the bad that came from the world. I knew that there were people suffering out there, but I hadn't thought much about it and just thinking about pain and suffering now left a gaping hole in my chest.

It made me feel guilty. Like I was supposed to feel pain too, when I hadn't.

I suppose you could count in the times my parents left my for long periods in my childhood. You could almost use the word 'abandoned'. However, they hadn't abandoned me because they always came back and found time to shower me with love. Even when they left, I had three older brothers to turn to and so much caring staff in the mansion. I was never truly alone.

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