The One Who Was [ON HOLD]

9 Part Story 993 Reads 48 Votes
Kestrel LeStarre By ADarkAndStormyNight Updated 3 years ago
"That is all that is left of my humanity, Clara. An image with less substance than a ghost."
    He seemed to be genuinely upset.
    "What are you then?"
    "A Tsal."
    He said it bitterly, as if it were a painful memory that he'd rather forget.
    "A Tsal," he said again, "nothing more than a slave."
    Most people think that vampires are ruthless blood-sucking creatures. I thought so too, before I became one. Now I'm not so sure. Now, I'm starting to believe what they tell me about their purpose. This is my life, and First Death. Read on, and know that what I transcribe is the truth as it happened to me.
    My name was Clara. Now it is Klarae. Call me either one, I am beyond caring.
Well written so far- a couple of typos aside.  I would try to make Chapter 1 longer to hook more readers.
Oh wow, this was pretty interesting. Although the length of the chapter was very short, I really enjoyed the twist at the end! :D Again, I can't really make a thorough judgement yet because this was so short, but in terms of writing delivery, it was very well done.
I noticed the t-shirt thing, but I probably wouldn't've commented on it if you hadn't said anything. 
                                    If you wanted to be totally original, you should write a vampire story where the protagonist is a girl who can't stand vampire stories. Then she gets thrown into one.
@monkey423 really? I thought the t-shirt thing was a smart input lol
                                    yeah, I know what you mean and thanks to you too! :D
This actually seems very interesting. No romance in a vampire book? I must be dreaming! Thank God, I was getting tired of them all.
                                    Haha she loves vampires, I wonde if that will change once she meets them lol
                                    Definitely voted! XD
This is a really interesting book. :) You have great writing skills.