Zaeed X Fem! Shep
Warning; angst
Sounds of merriment filled the chow hall, as the inner circle of close teammates celebrate the success of garrus' loyalty mission; everyone was here but jack of course, who cursed us all for even considering inviting her (even though she was thankful).
I sat approximately in the middle of the table, garrus to my left, Thane to my right; with zaeed sitting across from me, Samara and legion also reside next to him.
"You know Shep, I thought you were gonna stop me from taking the shot." Garrus poked my side with a spiny elbow, mandibles wide in a classic vakarian smirk of jest.
"Never in a million years Garrus. You're my best friend, I understand the situation." I reply, leaning away slighting to look him in the eye; after all he was rather tall.
"Heh. I'm still the better shot." He teased, eyes glinting with challenge.
"We are so going to test that, spiny bastard." I laughed at his expression, picking my trey up and stepping out of my chair.
"Squishy mammal." He retorts as I walk away, shaking my head with a smile as I return my tray to gardner.
"Get me a cup and some scotch, if you wouldn't mind." I say, leaning against the bar, gazing over at my closest friends sharing a moment of peace and happiness.
While waiting for Gardner to fix my drink, I look over my team, until my eyes land on zaeed; who is intently focused on Samara. With glowering eyes he was practically drooling over her, his gaze was sown to her as she did a fair amount of nothing.
The mood seemed to sour instantly, I knew the look in his eye; it was the same exact way kaidan used to stare at me before I died.
What the hell does it take to get noticed by this asshat?? I scoff to myself mentally, snatching the bottle of scotch from gardner's hand, filling the tall mug all the way to the top before roughly setting the bottle down; I turn on my heels, walking back over to the table, where the second ever guy I'd actually found interest in was oogling another woman.
"Listen up!" I huff, scuffing my boots on the floor to catch everyone's attention, with a mischievous smile, I raise my glass to them all, "To the lust of revenge, and the fulfillment of vengeance!" Though my eyes passed among all of their gazes, I could not stop myself from landing on zaeed once more.
"I can drink to that!" He exclaims, despite his flustered expression, eyes never leaving mine as drink clinking is initiated.
Sneering to myself I mutter under my breath before downing my scotch in one swift movement; before slamming it down on the table, the metal trays on the table jumped and clattered.
That was not entirely thought out, to say the least; The once seamless metal cup was a dented heap in my hand.
All eyes were laser focused on me.
No pressure.
I let loose the most awkward laugh, scratching the back of my neck, before turning around to stride back over to gardner with the broken cup; handing it over to him shyly, with a bashful expression, "I'm sorry chief I just don't know my own strength sometimes."
With a shrug, I turn away from the shocked look on his face, to find a dozen other persecuting faces behind me, "guys I'm sorry I'm just tired," I begin with my signature don't-ask smile, "I'm gonna go get some sleep before I level the table, I hope you guys don't get too rowdy, shore leave tomorrow and I want a proper party, not a hungover one."
And with that, my goodnights were said, so I headed for the elevator.
As I pressed the button for my cabin, I reclined against the wall and waited for the door to shut. Just before the mechanism could begin, none other than Zaeed Massani comes strolling around the corner and into the elevator with me; The last place I wanted him to be right now.
"Mind if I ride with you, shepard?" His voice was gruff from the burn of whatever liquor he'd been drinking, he stood on the opposite side of the tiny metallic room as the door to the elevator closed slowly, agonizingly slow.
"Of course not," words lingered in my throat, unsaid, but I pushed them away from my mind and whipped the image of him glowering at Samara out of my mind, "I'm going in the opposite direction, though."
"That's fine," he replies as the lagging contraption finally surges upward, bringing me about two feet closer to the sanctuary of my cabin, "too much revelry for me."
"Yeah... Me too." I softly respond, eyes down cast, avoiding the visage of his lean form at all costs.
"Well, this is your stop Shep, you know where I'm at if you want to talk." As the door slid open once more, his statement seemed to sit weighty upon my shoulders, implying more than what was originally said.
"Thanks, night zaeed."
~~
That was two hours ago.
Here I am, sitting in my spinny chair, listening to music that's outdated by two centuries, clutching my fifth bottle of wine, while crying pitifully over the picture of kaidan that sat on my desk; before he had died on virmire, the boy had confessed his love for me.
Being the foolish woman I am, I turned him down to secure the success of our mission. And I never got a second chance to tell him how I truly felt.
As I spewed tears hysterically, I looked through the blurry mess to see his soulful eyes staring back at me with a knowing look.
That's it.
Something snapped, deep in my heart, and I slammed the picture face down onto my desk; looking at the time on the monitor infront of me.
1:15 am
My eyes watered once more and my head ached miserably from crying; I had to find closure. Or company. Lest I die here clutching a bottle of wine like a mewling quim; alone and drowning in my own tears.
Unfolding my legs out from under me, I get to my feet clumsily, crashing into my desk a tiny bit; as I leaned over I set the wine bottle down, ignoring the pain in my hip.
I turned and sauntered over to the elevator, eyes heavy and swollen; nearly burning as I repeatedly jammed the button for crew deck.
If this elevator were any slower it would be the second death of me.
For a moment my thought almost amused me, but as the door to the contraption shut I felt fear blanket me, stealig my every breath with invisible icy tendrils.
Lurching downwards with the elevator, I almost lost my dinner to the floor; I braced myself with hands flat against the wall, struggling to resist the tug of drunken motion sickness that ate at the bottom of my stomach.
Soon enough the torture ended and the door slid open with a pleasant ding. Composing myself, I took a few deep breaths of fresh-ish air, forcing my wobbly sea legs to carry me towards the main battery.
I scaled the stairs without ease, falling at least twice and laughing about it; by the time I got to the door of the main battery, and was about to press the loud-ass request entry button, I heard the elevator go down.
Disregarding something that seemed unimportant at the time, I pressed the button anyway. There, of course, was no response because it's 1 am and my friend was probably sleeping away soundly.
Have you ever needed someone so bad...
Suddenly a little ding grabs my attention, as the elevator opens, and out comes a half dressed zaeed in a hurry with a panicked expression on his face; something I'd never witnessed before, authentic fear in the man's eyes.
"Shepard!" He barks looking to his left and right before spotting me, expression relaxing before he stomped over.
Grey hair still tousled from sleep, his mismatched eyes bore into me, and in my drunken stupor, I had already made my decision, "I saw you fall twice Jane, are you alright? What are you even doing on crew deck at-" he pauses to check his omni tool, "two in the morning?"
"I should be asking you why you're watching surveillance at two am." I growl, leaning against the cold metal of the door infront of me.
"That's none of your goddamn business." He scoffs, crossing his arms over the white wife-beater (it's like a racer back) shirt he wore.
"Oh, just like you practically drooling over Samara isn't my business either."
"Wot?" He hissed, flustered, visibly upset by my emboldened statement, "I was not!"
"You heard me- you- you, dog, you!" my voice was barely above a pained whisper, "I watched you. You can not deny it, and yes it hurt more than it should." I confess, a strangled sob escaping my throat, as hot tears threatened to spill forth from my eyes.
When nothing more was said, my eyes flickered to catch his gaze; he was gritting his teeth, clenching and unclenching his fist repeatedly in frustration.
"It's not like I'm fucking pining after her," he took a step toward me, as I wobbled on unstable legs, "I'm just into Asari Jane, its been a long damn time since I've even looked at someone like that."
"I wish you would look at me like that-" I slurred, slumping into the door again, the room started to spin rapidly and before I knew it my stomach turned a hard flip; I wrenched forward, and lost my lunch to the floor, "ugh, gross." I groan, the taste of bittersweet metal filled my mouth as I wiped at the corner of my mouth with the back of my wrist.
"Damn it jane," he races back down the stairs to the island where gardner usually stands during the day, before squatting down to fish a towel out of the cabinet, "let's get you cleaned up honey.."
Gentle calloused hands pulled me away from the door, setting me down by the shoulders onto the steps, "girl- uck- what have you been drinking? Its goddamn awful."
"Mmm ryncol anddddd chardonnayyyyyyyy." I replied, followed by a loud belch; as he cleaned it up without so much as a complaint, it seemed to mean more to me in the moment than it probably should have.
"No wonder you're wobbling around at 2am, you're drunk as a skunk and goddamn lovesick." He said, passing me with a soppy towel he immediately tossed in the trash before approaching the sink to wash his hands.
I screwed my eyes shut, stopping the spinning of the world dead in its tracks, "Me? Commander shepard- hero of the citadel- lovesick? Ha!"
Shutting the water off and drying his hands on the grey sweats he wore, zaeed had a soft look in his eye as he rounded the counter; grabbing me up slowly, with a tender hand as not to hurt me, he looks me dead in the eyes, "The real You. Jane shepard, the lovesick orphan turned fucking commando."
Tears gathered in my eyes, feeling particularly vulnerable, i lean into his chest, turning my head to embrace him flushly.
As I wrapped my arms around his lithe form, he made no attempt to push me away; quite the opposite in fact.
Warm, battle-tanned arms wrapped around my waist, and a wave of relief washed over me; taking advantage of my starstuck behavior, zaeed pulls back with a smirk, before leaning down and throwing me over his shoulder.
He carries me over to the elevator, whilst I giggle the whole way, shuttling my eyes once more to keep the dizziness at bay.
"I thought you were only into Asari, Zaeed." I said as we waited for our transportation to arrive.
Scoffing, he steps into the elevator and jams the button for my cabin; smoothing a hand over the flank of my hindquarters, "There is one exception."
The air in my cabin seemed cooler than crew deck; yet zaeed had to make conscious effort not to step on wine bottles, as he trotted down the stairs to throw me on the bed.
I groaned, curling up on my side, "EDI, for the love of God, dim the lights 85%"
The bed dipped behind me, and warm arms embrace me, "shhhh sweetheart, I'll explain in the morning." He whispered in my ear as I drifted off to sleep.
I don't know why but I can't get enough of the old Merc. Also first time writing angst tell me what ya thoughtttttttt
More on the wayyyy