--Time Waster # 29--
*THE NEXT DAY - AT THE PARK*
Sal: *Walks over to Cami at the taco stand*.
Cami: SAL! So, how was your date?
Sal: I can't believe you did that! Well I can, but still!
Cami: *Takes a bite of her taco and waits for Sal to continue*.
Sal: ...
Cami: Go on.
Sal: It's gonna take a little more than a pizza to get Alfred and I back together!
Cami: But you do think it'll happen, right?
Sal: No!
Cami: Why can't pizza bring you two together?
Sal: It's such a dumb attempt! I mean come on - pizza!?
Cami: If something so dumb like pokemon could break you up, why couldn't something just as dumb - yet delicious - bring you back together!?
Sal: *Gasps* YOU TAKE THAT BACK!
Cami: TAKE WHAT BACK!?
Sal: POKEMON IS NOT DUMB!
Cami: WELL YOU ARE!
Sal: >:O *Snatches Cami's taco away and throws it on the ground*.
Cami: HEY! YOU BI--
Darren: STOP FIGHTING!
Sal: Oh hey, when did you get here?
Darren: Just now.
Sal: Ah.. *Looks at Cami*.
Cami: *Looks extremely angry*.
Sal: What the heck is your problem?
Cami: YOU DID NOT JUST THROW MY TACO ON THE GROUND!
Sal: Uh, yeah I did.
Cami: YOU CAN INSULT MY TASTE IN MUSIC, YOU CAN CALL ME STUPID, BUT WHEN YOU ASSAULT MY TACO - IT'S PERSONAL!
Sal: o_O Seriously? I can call you a crap load of mean names but when it comes to food then you're actually mad? You're stupid.
Cami: YOU'RE STUPID!!
Sal: YOU'RE STUPIDER!
Cami: THAT'S NOT EVEN A WORD!
Sal: IT IS NOW!
Cami: YOU'RE NOT IN CHARGE OF THE DICTIONARY!
Sal: WANNA BET!?
Cami: YEAH, 'CAUSE YOU CAN'T EVEN SPELL IT!
Sal: SHUT UP! *Tackles Cami*.
Cami: *Turns over and punches Sal in the face*.
Taco Stand Dude: Shouldn't we help?
Darren: Just grab your taco cart and run.
T.S.D: *Runs off with his taco cart*.
Darren: Um, guys?
Sal & Cami: BUTT OUT!
Darren: Well then! *Walks over to the bench* I'll wait here until one of you kills the other.
Cami: IF YOU'RE GOING TO HURT TACOS AND CALL ME NAMES THEN I DON'T WANT TO BE NEAR YOU TODAY!
Sal: WELL IF YOU'RE GOING TO INSULT POKEMON THEN I DON'T WANT TO BE NEAR YOU AT ALL!
Darren: :o
Cami: FINE! BUTT PICKLE!
Sal: *Glares* TWIT!
Cami: Wow, what an insult. Please note my sarcasm!
Sal: *Sticks her tongue out at Cami*.
Cami: What are you, twelve?
Sal: At least I don't look twelve! SHORTY!
Cami: *Gasps* TAKE IT BACK!
Sal: NO!
Cami: I'M NOT SHORT!
Sal: YES YOU ARE!
Cami: *Picks up a stick and hits Sal in the face wit it*.
Sal: HEY! *Picks up a rock and throws it at Cami*.
Cami: OW! I HATE YOU!
Sal: WELL I HATE YOU MORE!
Cami: NOBODY HATES ME MORE THAN I HATE YOU!
Sal: ... Wait, huh?
Cami: EXACTLY!
Sal: WHATEVER! *Storms off*.
Cami: *Checks her watch* Give it a few seconds..
Sal: *Storms back over* MY CAR IS THAT WAY! *Storms off towards her car*.
Cami: *Rolls her eyes*.
Darren: Did you guys just quit being friends?
Cami: Who cares!? *Picks her taco up off the ground and takes a bite*.
Darren: Gross..
Cami: *Shrugs*.
*THE NEXT DAY*
Cami: *Is angrily throwing objects into a small plastic bin*.
Sal: *Walks in with a box full of stuff* I believe this is yours.
Cami: Haven't you ever heard of knocking?
Sal: Oh please, you walk into my home without knocking all the time.
Cami: Whatever. This is yours. *Hands Sal a box* Oh wait, this glass dolphin is yours, too. *Picks it up off her desk and throws it into the bin*
*DOLPHIN SHATTERS*
Sal: >:O *Puts the bin down and picks out a journal from Cami's box* Well you left your writing journal at my house! *Rips out all the pages*.
Cami: HEY! *Starts breaking all the stuff in Sal's box*.
Sal: *Breaks the stuff in Cami's*.
Cami: HEY THAT WAS EXPENSIVE!
Sal: YEAH, FIVE BUCKS!
Cami: SHUT UP!
Doris: What are you two doing!?
Cami: GO AWAY!
Doris: THAT'S MINE! *Points to a broken object laying on the floor*.
Cami: Sal broke it!
Doris: YOU'RE MEAN! *Runs to her room*.
Sal: YOU MADE YOUR LITTLE SISTER HATE ME!
Cami: GREAT! NOW YOU CAN ADD HER NAME TO THE INCREDIBLY LONG LIST OF OTHER PEOPLE THAT HATE YOU! You know, the one with your GRANDMA on it!
Sal: SHE DOESN'T HATE ME! SHE JUST HAS TROUBLE SHOWING AFFECTION!
Cami: NOT TO ME, SHE DOESN'T!
Sal: SHUT UP!
C.M: WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON IN HERE!?
Cami & Sal: SHE STARTED IT!
C.M: BOTH OF YOU IN THE KITCHEN! NOW!!
Cami: Nice going, idiot. *Starts towards the door with Sal*.
Sal: MOVE! *Is fighting over the door space with Cami to get out first*.
Cami: YOU MOVE! *Shoves Sal backwards and leaves the room*.
Sal: Witch!
*IN THE KITCHEN*
C.M: WHY THE HECK ARE YOU TWO BREAKING STUFF UPSTAIRS!?
Cami: It's okay mom, I'm breaking her stuff and she's breaking mine. It's not like we're breaking our own stuff.
C.M: THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT BETTER!! WHY!?
Sal: Because we're mad at each other!
C.M: Well if the two of you are seriously going to stop being friends, at least act mature! Cami, give me your cell phone!
Cami: *Gives her mom her cell phone*.
C.M: You can have it back when you're not acting like a child.
Sal: *Snickers*.
C.M: Dear, I love you as if you were my own daughter, but your mom is taking your phone away too.
Sal: WHAT!?
Cami: YES! VICTORY! *Dances around*.
C.M: And this isn't my fault, but she also mentioned that your grandmother wanted to talk to you when you got home.
Cami: WHOO!!!!! *Does mega happy dance*.
Sal: NOOOOOOOOO! *Runs out of the house*.
Cami: *Starts out of the kitchen with her keys*.
C.M: Where are you going?
Cami: Well Sal has a habit of running in the street when she's freaked out, so I was gonna run her down with my car.
C.M: GO TO YOUR ROOM!
Cami: >:( Fine. *Goes upstairs*.
*THE NEXT DAY - AT SCHOOL*
Sal: *Walks into art class and sits across from Cami*.
Darren: Did it suddenly just get very warm in here?
Alfred: Yep.. *Tugs at his shirt collar*.
Cami: Oh shut up.
Teacher: Okay kids, today you are going to draw a picture of your favorite memory. Please begin.
*A FEW MINUTES LATER*
Teacher: Okay so you don't have to but when you're done you have the option to present. Extra credit to those who do.
Cami: DONE! And I want to present!
Teacher: *Sighs* This ought to be good.
Cami: *Walks to the front of the room with a large piece of paper* This is my most recent favorite moment. *Turns the picture around so everyone can see it* It's me hitting Sal in the face with a stick, saying that I'm super glad we are NO LONGER FRIENDS.
Sal: I WANT TO GO NEXT!
Teacher: Oh jeez. Please take a seat, Cameron.
Cami: Will do. *Sits back down and begins scribbling on a new paper*.
Sal: This is a drawing of the time I ripped the head off of Cami's favorite stuffend animal. *Holds up her drawing* It just happened last night and I enjoyed it very much.
Cami: *Runs to the front of the room* THIS IS WHEN I CLEANED THE TOILET IN OUR JAIL CELL WITH SAL'S TOOTHBRUSH! *Flips the paper over* AND THIS IS SAL USING HER TOOTHBRUSH THE NEXT DAY!
Sal: *Gasps*.
Students: EWWWW!!
Sal: YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER SPEAK OF IT!
Cami: No I didn't.
Sal: CAMI'S SCARED OF CLOWNS!
Cami: SAL CAN'T SLEEP WITHOUT A NIGHT LIGHT!
Sal: CAMI WORE DIAPERS UNTIL SHE WAS NINE!
Cami: THEY WERE PULL-UPS!
Teacher: ENOUGH! BOTH OF YOU GO THE OFFICE NOW!
*IN THE OFFICE - TEN MINUTES LATER*
Cami & Sal: *Are sitting in chairs in the principal's office while yelling at each other*.
Principal: *Is banging his head on the desk repeatedly* Remind me to fire the art teacher for sending the two of you here.
Cami: AT LEAST I DON'T SLEEP WITH A TEDDY BEAR!
Sal: YOU DO, TOO!
Cami: FLAKERS IS A DOG!
Sal: WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE!? YOU STILL CAN'T SLEEP WITHOUT HIM!
Cami: OH YEAH!? WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE TIME WHEN WE WENT CAMPING AND I FORGOT HIM AT HOME!? I DID JUST FINE THEN!!
Sal: YOU CURLED UP IN A BALL AND CRIED THE ENTIRE FREAKING NIGHT! IT WAS SO ANNOYING THAT I SERIOUSLY CONSIDERED SUFFOCATING YOU WITH MY PILLOW!
Cami: *Gasps*.
Principal: LADIES! Enough yelling!!
Sal: You're the one who's yelling.
Principal: *Lets out a long, irritated sigh* I'm suspending both of you from school for the rest of the week.
Sal & Cami: WHOO!!
Principal: BUT! You'll be sent to a cabin with one of our teachers as the chaperone.
Sal: Pfft! Which one? Mr. Maxwell - the wimp, Mr. Johnson - the tough-looking guy who actually turned out to be a complete scaredy cat--
Cami: Mrs. Jones - the one who cried under her desk when she found out Sal and I were going to be in her Writing class all year--
Principal: Mrs. Armson.
Cami & Sal: THE GYM TEACHER!? NOOOO!!
Cami: SHE'S EVIL! I HEARD SHE ATE A KIDS FACE LAST YEAR JUST FOR CRYING!
Sal: ... o_O
Principal: Where'd you hear that?
Cami: ... Facebook.
Principal: *Sighs* Alright, well that's not true. She's the toughest teacher we have here and the only one who isn't afraid to be with the two of you for more than an hour. So head home, pack up your things, and meet back here in the school's parking lot.
Cami: You can't make us go without our parent's permission.
Sal: Yeah!!
S.M: *From the doorway* They already have it. Now get your butt in the car.
Cami: Ha ha!
Sal: What are you laughing at? Your mom is here, too.
Cami: *Turns towards the door and sees her mom* *Sighs* That's just great. >:(
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