EUTERPE POV:
I rolled off the bed and made my way to the bathroom hoping to busy myself. It was six in the morning and I could not sleep at all. My body is conditioned to sleep very little and now I have no idea what to do at night. Usually, I was out running errands or trying to crawl my way to the bathroom to clean the blood of myself.
I may not like the Vaughn's that much as of now but if I stay we will all be in danger. They think I don't know anything and it's better that way. If I am some clueless guest then I can leave without any repercussions. Maybe I can use school to get out of here, I'm sure a week here won't be so bad.
I wiped my face and then got in the shower letting the hot water relax me. It was difficult being a daughter of two broken and evil souls, especially when they haunted your dreams. When they haunted your memories. My skin was littered with scars, burns, a few cuts, and bruises. I don't remember a time when my skin was just one color, when it was just my pale skin. It was always purple, yellow, green, or red, and that was normal to me. I feel like there will never be a time when it's just pale skin and that sucks.
But it's life, it's my life.
I looked down at my stomach and frowned, this wasn't getting better but I wasn't going to a doctor. I would have to answer so many questions and it would just be dumb on my part. Maybe I can get a brace for it so I can wear it for a few hours a day.
Once I got dressed and did my hair and makeup before sitting on the bed checking my phone. I haven't talked to the boys but my other phone was left in Ireland. I couldn't save their numbers on this phone because Nolan checked it regularly. I also don't remember their numbers because they always change it. It's a bit annoying but necessary. I know they're smart so they'll find a way to contact me.
Putting my phone to charge my eyes landed on a button next to the lamp. I pushed it but nothing happened, maybe it's broken... I left it alone and put my shoes on.
As I opened the door knuckles came in contact with my face and I yelped as they hit my eye.
"Miss!" Jensen gasped, "I'm so sorry! I was going to knock but you... then... I... oh my!" He rambled panicking.
I blinked getting rid of the tears and shook my hands telling him it was okay.
"I- do you need ice?! Let me look at it." He persisted coming closer.
I waved him off and titled my head, "I- came because you rang? The button." He pointed and I made an 'O' face.
"Kitchen?" I signed.
He looked at my hands, "The... kitchen?" He asked confused.
I nodded, "Oh! Yes! I'm sorry Miss, I'm fairly new to sign language but I started a book to teach myself. I learned some of the basics already! I want you to feel comfortable so I thought it would be best to learn it, rather than limit you to ask questions." He smiled.
I like him better than any of them.
"Thank you." I gave him a small smile.
His eyes widened but he didn't say anything and mumbled a quiet follow me. A small yawn escaped me as we walked downstairs and he frowned a bit hearing it.
"Did you not sleep well last night? Would you like some tea?" He asked nicely.
We walked into the kitchen to see a chef who looked to be in his fifties. He was a bit short, very think, his brown hair was graying and he had hazel eyes. He looked at us and put the bowl he had down before waving.
"Bonjour! I am Milton, the chef. Is there something you need? Something I can help with?" He questioned politely.
Oh, so he was French.
As I said, I have lived in a lot of places which meant new languages. I could understand languages in the places I lived but I don't know if I could speak it. I never had a chance to talk, to practice, but I just like being able to understand. The first few years of my life were hazy but I do remember being able to speak Russian. It was where I was born and Avery wanted me to know, if I tried now it'd probably come out a little rusty.
I looked at my hands and at both of them before signing lightly, I hate how I can't talk around people alone. The only time people hear my voice is if I'm with the boys but even then if there are looking at me I stop myself.
"Oh!" Jensen smiled and took out a small notepad and pen from his pocket, "I thought until I understand better that I should carry this around." He explained softly.
"Thank you." I signed before grabbing them.
I put it down on the counter before writing, "I was wondering if there was anything to make iced coffee? I'm not a fan of hot beverages other than a few teas or hot chocolate." I lifted it to show them.
"Of course, I can make you something. Your brothers are very fond of their coffee machine and drink a few cups a day. No matter how many times I've told them it's not good to drink that much they never listen." Milton shook his head.
They're not my brothers.
He walked over to a big machine and I internally gaped at the machine. Did they really need this thing? It had more buttons than a remote, okay fine I'm exaggerating but it was huge. He started moving around and turned on the machine as I sat on a barstool nearby. Jensen started walking around as well preparing something but I wasn't paying that much attention.
I think the times where I have nothing to do are the worst for me. My mind always had the habit of drifting off and I start reliving old memories. A few times I got stuck in flashbacks for what seemed like forever. I would refocus noticing my wet cheeks, my blurry eyes, and the scratches on my arms. I would feel the pain just for more to be added on to it. Speaking about pain, I need to get more painkillers because I only have enough for two weeks.
"Miss?" Someone spoke.
I blinked looking up to see Milton pointing in front of me. I looked down to see an Irish coffee glass filled to the top with iced coffee. I grabbed the straw and sipped it before my eyes slightly widened.
This shit is the bomb.
I gave him a thumbs up and he smiled pleased before going back to what he was doing earlier.
"Would you like something to eat? The masters usually wake up at different times so it's rare to eat breakfast together." Jensen explained grabbing a tray.
Perfect for me actually.
"No thank you. I'm not hungry yet." I gave him the pad.
He frowned a bit, "Alright, but if you get hungry I want you to come to Milton or myself right away. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and you shouldn't miss it." He said pointedly.
Oh Jensen, if only you knew...
"Now, Master Rydge is probably waiting for his morning coffee. Enjoy your drink." Jensen picked up the tray and walked out.
My eyes went back to Milton and I tilted my head watching him trying to mix ingredients. I think he was making a dessert for later but it was getting stuck inside the whisk. As much as he showed his patience I know he was getting a bit irritated. I liked to bake myself and get easily annoyed with whisks like that. There was one tool I took with me every time I moved and I felt a bit of sympathy.
I went up to the room to get it from my bag and went back down. I washed it and walked over to Milton, he looked up confused before I motioned to the mixture. He stepped aside and I showed him how it was used while he watched fascinated.
"What's it called?" He asked grabbing it.
When I went up I grabbed my phone so I took it out before typing.
"A Danish Dough Mixer. It works really well and nothing will get stuck in the inside." The phone voiced.
His eyebrows shot up, "That is so awesome. Where did you get it?" He inspected it carefully.
I shrugged typing, "About four years ago I lived in Denmark for a few months. We lived next to a bakery and the owner taught me a few things. Before I left he gifted the whisk to me, it's yours now." It stopped.
"What- no! I couldn't possibly!" He shook his head.
I waved him off, "You would put it to better use than I ever would. Keep it." and he finally nodded.
"Thank you." He smiled.
He started working again and I saw his pleased face now that his work was cut down. I sat down drinking the rest of my coffee trying to enjoy the taste. I heard footsteps and looked up to see Thorn walk in looking around, probably for me.
"Master Thorn, your usual?" Milton wiped his apron off.
Thorn nodded, "Yes Milton the usual, thank you." then his eyes landed on me, "Good morning Euterpe, hopefully, you slept well with the night you had." His eyebrow went up.
I looked down and ran my fingers along the glass ignoring his comment. If it wasn't for hotdog I so could've been long gone by now. He sat down next to me and I turned my head to look at him.
"I was worried butterfly," He whispered with a frown.
Damn, this... is going to be a problem. I can tell that Thorn is the one who provides the love and care in the Vaughn family. I need him to hate me so he won't look for me when I leave. Also why the hell is he calling me butterfly.
I shrugged and looked away again, "You know when you were Avery's Emory you were such a bright little girl. You would run around babbling about butterflies and if crunchy or soft cookies were better." He spoke distantly.
Again... who is Emory?
I gave him a confused look, "When Avery left it was hard on all of us, we were kids. Hell, Rydge was only about ten years old... we all thought she'd come back." He whispered sadly, "She visited us from time to time because our father allowed it but she sometimes wouldn't come for months. One day she came over while dad was out of town and brought a little girl with her. We were confused and asked who she was, Avery told us that she was babysitting for a friend of hers and wanted us to meet her. To meet you. She said your name was Emory and you were about three at the time. We didn't question what she said though, you looked nothing like her and you never called her mom either." He took a deep breath, "A few times she would just leave you here and take off, it hurt but we didn't mind. Although you were just some random little girl we all had a soft spot for you and I mean all of us. You had nicknames for us and would yell them when we wouldn't listen to you. I mean, imagine a four year old running around yelling Thornado because I wouldn't help you catch a butterfly." He let out a soft chuckle.
Milton quietly came over and handed Thorn a plate of food and a coffee.
"What did I call the others?" I signed hesitantly.
A small smile graced his face, "There was RyRy, Cassy, Bee, Axman, and Oreo." He drank some coffee, "I'm sure the younger three don't remember that much but they missed you. The last time any of us saw you or Avery... was when you were five." He finally finished.
I bit my lip looking away, I don't care, I can't care, they're just strangers. I rubbed my eye lightly but froze forgetting that I had makeup on. I looked at my hand, fuck I need to fix this now.
I slowly slipped out of my chair and tried to walk away, "Euterpe?" Thorn asked from behind me.
I grabbed my phone, "I need to use the restroom, I'll be back soon." It voiced before I practically ran.
I bumped into someone and was about to fall but they caught me. I slapped my hand over the eye and looked up to see Castriel. He looked down at me confused and then a bit of worry crossed his face while looking at my hand.
"What happened to your eye?" His deep voice startled me a bit.
My mouth went dry and I looked around and pointed at a door.
"You hit your eye on a door?" His eyebrows furrowed.
I pointed at the knob and made weird hand movements which confused him even more. His mouth parted but I pointed behind him and took slow steps away. He pointed at me but nothing came out and I took my chance to book it.
I ran into the room and locked the door before heading to the bathroom. My hand slowly went down and I cringed looking at my purple eye. I'm just glad my skin wasn't puffy but it was going to be hard covering this again. Marked skin didn't bother me but I know if they saw it then it would be a horrible thing.
I was trying to cover up this horrible bruise for thirty minutes when I finally gave up. There was a knock at the door and I jumped before sighing. I walked over and opened it seeing Thorn with a laptop.
"Alright little butterfly, it's time to shop!" He smiled pushing past me.
He sat down on the bed and was about to talk when his eyes landed on something. He frowned and slowly put the laptop aside before looking at me.
"Euterpe, why haven't you unpacked?" He asked slowly.
I pursed my lips, "Yes, why haven't you unpacked? Is there something wrong?" I turned my head to see Castriel standing at the door.
Oh shit.
I'm going to- "Thorn! Castriel!" Someone yelled.
Thank you for saving me Axton.
He barged in with a red face, "Braxton stole my mother fucking muffin! All because I said that I'm better looking than him! Do something!" He gritted out angrily.
What?
They're identical twins...
"Axton..."
"Your muffin?" Braxton scoffed walking in, "It didn't have your name on it. It was sitting on a plate not being eaten." Braxton crossed his arms.
"YOU KNEW IT WAS MY MUFFIN!" He shouted, "I licked it!" He stomped his foot.
Braxton rolled his eyes, "And? You're my twin. You act like I give a shit."
"You should care! I licked it so it's mine!" He whined.
Othello walked in, "What's all the commotion?" He rubbed his eyes.
"Your fat ass brother ate my muffin!" Axton crossed his arms glaring at his twin.
Thorn sighed, "Axton you can get another muffin, two if you must." He pinched his nose as Axton grinned widely, "And Braxton stop eating your brother's food, you know how much he whines. You're both twenty years old so act like it." He scolded them both.
"Keep it up and I'll ground you both." Castriel narrowed his eyes.
"We're twenty!" They gaped at him.
He shrugged, "You don't act like it so we will treat you like a kid if we have to."
"THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" The twins yelled at each other.
Both of them stomped out of the room in different directions with the four of us listening to them curse to themselves.
Maybe I can just leave too...
I started moving to the door, "Euterpe." Castriel said slowly.
The twins need to come fight again...
I spun around, "Don't act as if we forgot. We want an answer now." He crossed his arms.
Othello looked around confused, "Why are her bags still packed?" He asked loudly.
Oh shut the hell up Othello.
"Hotdog?" I signed.
"Hotdog?" Othello repeated.
I pointed to my window where the raccoon was sitting on the ledge and they turned. I turned and made a run for it, thank you hotdog.
"HEY!"
I ran down a few halls and jumped into a random room before holding my breath. I heard them pass the room cursing and I let out a sigh of relief.
My hand aimlessly searched for a light switch since the room was dark. When I found it I closed my eyes getting adjusted to the bright light. I finally looked around and saw that I was in a library, I jumped running around looking at the books. Grabbing a few I went to sit down at a desk by an old fireplace. As I set the books down on a nearby table my eyes caught photos on top of the fireplace. I slowly walked over and looked at each one closely. My feet stopped at a particular one and I sucked in a breath.
My hands shook as I reached for it and I numbly made my way to sit down. It was a photograph of all the Vaughn's and myself as kids. I looked about four and was sitting on Castriel's shoulders with a smile that showed off my two missing teeth. We were in a butterfly field and my arms were in the air looking at them fly everywhere. The others were surrounding us mainly watching me. Rydge was standing behind us making sure I didn't fall but had a smile on his face. Thorn was trying to catch my attention by grabbing one of my little legs. The twins were trying to catch butterflies for me with determination clear on their faces. And lastly Othello, he was making a flower crown I believe while standing next to us but he was looking at me with a cheeky grin.
My lips trembled and a few tears ran down my face as I stared at this picture. I didn't remember any of it but I wished I did. I wished I could remember one thing, one memory, anything that made me as happy as I looked in this. I dropped the frame and it shattered but it didn't matter, just like I didn't. I was just a burden to everyone I've ever met, I'm nothing important, I'm just an abused orphan. My parents didn't want me, the Vaughn's don't want me, I don't want me either.
I hate being me.
A sob broke through and I felt like everything Nolan ever said was true. No one will ever love me and I'm okay with it but it still hurts. Why did he have to hurt me all those years ago? What did I do wrong? What could I do wrong? I was a little girl, I was naive and innocent to the world of pain but it changed quickly, way too quickly.
I was bawling my eyes out.
I don't understand, I don't understand any of it. I just want to be alone but I can't. Why is it that when I have a chance to help myself I have to keep pretending?
If I had ended it all those years ago would I still feel the pain? Would it still hurt as much?
My hand grabbed my necklace and I sniffled playing with it. Avery, it was all her fault. She put me through the worst thing anyone would ever have to endure. She ruined my life because she was selfish and she ruined it not only for me but for others. She lied and cheated so that she could feel satisfied with the attention on her. I lost a lot of things because of her decision and I will never forgive her.
I don't care if forgiveness is key.
That key was thrown away a long fucking time ago and it will stay that way.
At least for me.
~~~~~~~~~~
A/N
Hey cuties, so I'm sorry I didn't post yesterday but I had three mini essays due. Haha, it sucked. Not to mention I have another four essays and three mini essays due just this week alone (Not Including the four quizzes I have as well). I will try to keep to the daily schedule but aha... um... we will see about that. Pls pray for me, I love you. Hopefully, I'll see you soon.