My heart dropped as I stood in front of my dad. He was balling up a fist with his right hand as he held my phone with his left.
"Care to explain this George?" He asked, holding up my phone.
"What do I need to explain it's just my phone." I reached for it but he pulled back.
"Oh so you don't care that I went through your texts with this Clay kid huh?" He unlocked my phone, which he somehow knew the passcode to, and went to Clay and I's text messages. I really didn't think there was anything bad on the screen.
"No why would I care? We're just having normal conversations here Dad." My dad walked closer to me and leaned over me.
"So care to explain these texts George?" He shoved the phone in my face. I read the texts and I felt nauseous.
Clay :)
I miss you Georgie, you should come over :)
Me:
I miss you too, but I have homework to do. Sorry :(
"Dad that doesn't mean anything I swear, Clay and I are just friends." I slid my phone into my pocket and backed away slowly to my room.
WARNING: Abuse, offensive terms, self harm.
"It doesn't seem like you are just friends from those texts George. I always knew you were a fucking faggot. I can't believe I raised a son like you." My dad slammed his fist down on the table. Tears started falling from my face.
"Why can't you just be fucking normal George. I wish you were never fucking born. You're disrespectful, rude and of course on top of all of that you're a fucking faggot. You may as well just get the fuck out and never come home. I can't stand seeing you anymore."
Those words stung me, and I started to sob, tears falling quicker. My dad walked towards me with both of his fists balled up.
"Why do you hate every fucking thing about me!" I shouted in my fathers face. I knew it was a big mistake as soon as the words left my mouth.
"I said stop speaking back to me you stupid son of a bitch."
He came at me faster, his fists clenched. I started backing up faster into my room but I was too late. His fist made contact with my face, sending a rush of pain throughout. I fell to the ground, dizzy and nauseous. The room was spinning around me as I tried to get back up, causing me to fall again. I grabbed onto my doorknob to try and pull myself back up, but I was too disoriented to do so. I looked back at my dad to see his foot coming straight towards me. Before I could react, his foot was in my gut, causing me to yell in pain. I grabbed my stomach and crawled into my room. I was able to lock the door before my dad was able to get to me again.
"You're a fucking disappointment George, never come back out." I heard my dad say as he walked back to the living room.
I sat curled up on the ground, holding my stomach and trying to stop myself from vomiting. The room was still spinning as I laid. Tears were still falling from my face, making my vision even more blurry.
"I can't fucking do this anymore." I thought to myself. I slowly but surely made my way into my bathroom. Pain was still rushing throughout my whole body now. I reached up and felt my eye, which had been extremely swollen by now. "I can't fucking live like this."
I opened my closet door, lifting the towel up to reveal the hidden razors again. I took one and fell against my bathtub. I lifted my knees to my chest and stared at my left forearm, scars still remaining from my actions earlier. I held the razor to my arm, thinking.
"This would make Clay so upset." I thought to myself as I held it over my arm. It would hurt him a lot if he found out that I did this again. The pain was too much, and my body took control. I cut into my arm, deeper than I ever had before. I yelled in pain, but kept going, making more and more cuts. My whole life was filled with torture from my dad and pain, this seemed like my only solution. I knew how disappointed Clay would be, and how hurt Henry would be as well. I couldn't stop myself as I watched my arm bleed. I threw the razor at my wall, and sobbed harder than I ever had before. I heard banging on my bedroom door, but I ignored it and kept crying into my knees.
"George please open the door! Don't do anything stupid please I need you George."
I heard Henry at my door, still banging on it trying to get in. I didn't have the strength to go and unlock it, so I sat, watching my arm bleed, not wanting it to stop. Then, I heard Henry say something that made my heart drop.
"George, i'm calling Clay."
Shorter chapter for today, but a very heavy one. Again, if anyone has been feeling like this, please reach out and get help!
Have a good day/night❤️