- A m a r a R u s s o -
"You want me to go to a therapist? For what?" I spluttered, eyes wide in shock.
"For your nightmares. We think you might have developed PTSD, and we want you to be able to heal from it properly instead of forgetting it. It's better to confront your fears than to run from them as they always catch back up to you in the future." Salvestro said in a way of explanation.
"No. I told Salvatore I won't go, and that is still my answer." I stated rather harshly, standing up.
"Bambina," Salvestro groaned, putting a tired hand over his eyes. "Come on! Trust us, you'll feel better after your sessions." he said, and my eyes hardened.
"Well, I guess I don't trust you then." I spat, before turning around and storming out of the dining room, leaving four shocked males there, jaw touching the floor as their eyes followed my every movement.
Slamming the door to my room, I had to stop the tears. Didn't they understand that telling them about my past was already my limit? Why did they have to keep on pushing? Why aren't they understanding? It's not like I'll talk anyways, they'll just be wasting their money on me.
'I agree. You really shouldn't go to a therapis-"
Nope. I'm not listening to them. Blocking out the voices, I went into the bathroom, averting my eyes from the mirror as I decided to take an early shower. More like a morning shower, but whatever.
When I came out, Salvestro was sitting on the bed, looking around my room.
"I told you I won't go." I growled at Salvestro, who gave me a pleading stare.
"Tell me why." he replied, looking at me. "I won't judge you."
"Because, well, ummm, I just don't like to talk about my feelings with random people." I blurted out, cheeks flushing red.
"You don't want to go to a therapist because you don't want to talk about your feelings with them?" Salvestro clarified, and I nodded my head.
"Well, I guess you can say that. But it's more like judgement, y'know?" I mumbled, looking down at my hands.
"Bambina... Therapists aren't supposed to judge you. They're supposed to understand and help you." Salvestro said softly, a faint smile on his lips as he put a reassuring hand on my shoulder.
"No," I whined, prolonging the 'o'. "they always act like they won't judge you when they do judge you! You can see it in their eyes." I insisted, and Salvestro sighed, standing up and pulling me into his chest.
"Bambina, everyone judges everyone. It's a human trait we all have. It's just that therapists accept you and your problems instead of bashing you for it." he said gently, pushing away my curly hair from my face.
"B-but, I just..." I tried to find a way to explain my feelings to him. "I just don't trust them." I finally said, and I prayed that he understood. Thankfully, a flash of understanding entered his eyes.
"Oh." was all that went out of his mouth. "How about we make a deal." he said, and I looked up at him.
"What?" I asked eagerly. Anything to get out of going to a therapist.
"How about this. We try to work out your feelings together. If you seem to be doing well and your nightmares subside, we won't go. However, if your nightmares continue, you will be going." he said sternly. "It is the only deal I am willing to make. I'm already risking a lot, not making you see a therapist." he said, and I considered the offer.
Thinking about it, I knew that that was the only option I could take. Maybe I could try figuring things out with Salvestro, someone I at least trust a bit, so that I don't have to confess my thoughts and feelings to a stranger.
"Okay." I sighed. I really didn't want to talk to Salvestro either, but it's better than going to a therapist.
"Excellent!" he beamed, giving me a full on grin. Who knew that Salvestro could have such a beautiful smile? "We'll be having lunch in a few. Come down when you're ready." he said, and bounded out of the room, a skip to his step.
Giggling slightly, I had to stop myself from full on laughing at this. Salvestro may be stern, but he was probably the kindest out of all my brothers.
From what I have seen so far in my almost three weeks here, I have come to realize the many personalities my brothers have.
Although I don't spend much time with my oldest brother, Salvatore, Salvatore was the scariest out of all of them. He was organized, responsible, and was intimidating in every way possible. Salvatore had no tolerance for disrespect, and literally had no emotion. I swear, the only emotion I've ever seen from Salvatore was either disappointment, or anger, the former being the most seen. Salvatore also stays quiet and calm in dire situations, something like 'the calm before the storm'.
Salvestro on the other hand was probably the opposite of Salvatore. Salvestro was kind and caring, but he was also extremely stern. He hated it when I lied, but I've never seen him shout or get angry before. I've only ever seen him frown, and Salvestro always tries to see the best in every situation. Unless there was another side to Salvestro I don't know about, Salvestro was honestly like a huge kind teddy bear.
Sandeo was the funny one in the family. He literally never fails to cheer me up and always has something hilarious to say, even if it is inappropriate. Sandeo had a carefree personality where he acted like nothing in the world could stop him from doing what he wanted. I honestly really wanted to have Sandeo's personality, where he could stay positive in any situation.
Salvino was probably the softer twin out of him and Santino. Although I really tell them apart appearance wise, Salvino was probably the gentler twin. Don't get me wrong, he was still arrogant and rude, but he was the softer one personality wise.
Santino on the other hand was the tougher one. Sure, they both act like nothing hurts them, but Santino hides his emotions better than Salvino. Fortunately, none of them are like Salvatore, instead lashing out when they are angry, getting it over and done with. They do know how to hold grudges though, and the one time I spilt my water on Santino had him shouting at me for a good fifteen minutes.
Getting my hair out of it's bun from my shower, I tried to poof it up so that it doesn't look like a mess. I guess it's time for lunch.
~~~
Why did I agree to this again?
"So... Are you going to talk?" Salvestro said, looking at me from his seat.
"I don't know what you want me to talk about." I shrugged awkwardly, shuffling my feet as I twiddled with my thumbs. This was really weird.
"Okay, how about you tell me how you feel about the fact that you were abused?" he sighed, and I gave him a look.
"I don't know? I guess I feel sad? Maybe a bit disappointed?" I answered, picking at my nails.
"Disappointed? Why?" he asked softly, voice soft and gentle as he spoke.
"I guess I just feel disappointed that I was born in an abusive household y'know? Like out of all the families, I just had to end up in that one." I sighed, and my eyes widened at my suggestive tone. "It doesn't mean that I don't love it here. I love it here, I'm just saying that I'm disappointed that I didn't like meet you guys sooner or maybe wasn't born in a regular-"
"Shh, it's fine. I totally understand." he smiled faintly, giving me a look of understanding as he put a finger on my lips, silencing me.
"Okay." I sighed.
"What about school? How do you feel about that?" he inquired, and his eyes held genuine curiosity.
"You could say that I like school only because I could avoid my step-father more." I shrugged, flicking the dead skin on my right hand.
"Don't touch it." Salvestro snapped, slapping my hand away from my right hand lightly. "It's healing nicely though, so don't touch and force it to peel off. Your skin will do that on it's own." he reprimanded.
"Right." I said, a grin forming on my lips.
"So, what about school. I thought that you wouldn't like it." Salvestro pondered, head cocking to the side.
"I don't like it, but it is much better than staying home." I countered, shivering at the memories. "I'm not good at school. I know that you know that." I told him, raising an eyebrow as he rubbed his neck sheepishly.
"Yeah. Salvatore and I both checked over your file. It's safe to say that we both weren't exactly impressed by your marks."
Even he himself, grimaced at his words. I was surprised that I wasn't offended though, because I thought that I would be.
"It's fine. I don't have much time to study at home, and when I'm at school, I like to catch up on lost sleep. I never understood math and science. I don't work well with numbers, and I'm too clumsy for science when doing lab. I always trip over something, even if it's air." I sighed dejectedly, already knowing a scolding was coming along.
What shocked me though, was that Salvestro was actually chuckling at my words. Well, he wasn't the house kindest for no reason.
"It's fine. You can't be good at everything." he grinned, "Anyways, you're kinda like Sandeo. He sucks at math and science as well." Salvestro laughed, and I almost laughed with him.
"Yeah, and I honestly could care less about geography and history. They're so boring." I complained, already having a long speech prepared in my head. "Like, I don't care if earthquakes form from platonic plates rubbing against each other. Is it even called that?." I started, brows furrowed in confusion.
"You mean tectonic plates?" Salvestro corrected, cheeks a pale pink as he tried to keep in his laughter at my words.
"Yeah! That thing, whatever that thing is called. Like who cares about how an earthquake forms?" I whined, throwing my hand in the air as I gestured wildly.
"Geologists probably would want to learn." Salvestro prompted, and I shot him a silent glare.
"They are boring, and don't even get me started on freaking history." I ranted, blowing my hair out of my mouth. "History is so boring! Like what do you learn there?" I whined, throwing my hand up in silent frustration.
"Well, since you had the Ontario curriculum, you were probably taught about the French and British wars in the 1700, also known as the Seven Year's war." he said thoughtfully, and I swear my jaw nearly dropped to the floor. How the heck did he know this stuff? I have lived in Ontario my entire life, and did not know a thing about Canada's history.
This guy over here is from America, and still knows Canada's major wars? He just called me stupid in fifty different ways.
"How do you know that?" I said, voicing my shock.
"I researched and studied Canada's history in wars. It was a project I had to do when I was a sophomore in high school." he answered fondly, as if recalling good memories.
"You had to study Canada's wars." I stated in disbelief.
"Well, everyone had to study a different country when I was in tenth grade. I just happened to have chosen America's younger brother." he shrugged, and my eyes turned into saucers.
He could become my history teacher then.
"Obviously though, you won't have to know about Canada's war history anymore as you are in America now and will be taught here at a private school." he continued, and my eyes bulged out of my head.
"I'll be going to school in America? In a private school?"
"Yes. Where else do you think you'll go?" Salvestro answered.
America has a long history of wars and dates. I was already having trouble remembering dates in Canada, I won't even remember a thing in America now.
"But I know nothing about the US!" I protested, completely against going to an American school.
"It's fine. You'll learn cause you're smart." Salvestro shrugged off my worry, and I glowered at him. You literally just told me five minutes ago that you weren't impressed with my marks!
"B-"
"What about art? Your art marks were amazing." Salvestro cut me off, changing the topic as I opened my mouth to retort.
Closing my mouth shut and giving him an irritated stare, I thought and mulled over his question.
"I like art." I finally responded, "It's something where I feel the most... Free."
"Ahh." he said, nodding his head. "Well, you'll soon be able to take backup that paint brush. Your hand is healing nicely, and your ribs look a lot better than before." he said, and I agreed.
Hopefully, I would be able to use my hand before school starts in a bit more than a month.
"Right. So, you don't like school?" he asked, and I shook my head.
"I told you already. I don't like school because I suck at everything except for art. I'm not even good at all the arts though cause I am too lazy to remember how to act properly..."
~
"I think that concludes our little therapy session." Salvestro said.
"Already? We didn't even do it yet." I replied, furrowing my brows.
"Bambina, therapy is not just a question and answer. Therapy is for me to help you to open up and talk about your problems. Anyways, a therapy session doesn't mean a miserable session." he chuckled, giving me a pat on the head.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I said confused.
"Didn't you realize that after a few minutes into the session, you were more comfortable with talking to me?" he asked, and I tiled my head to the side, lips pulling into a frown.
"I was?"
"Yes, you were." Salvestro laughed. "We talked about easy things today, things that are supposed to help you open up to me more. As we progress, we can move onto harder subjects so that you can slowly and gradually get used to opening up about your feelings." he explained, and I nodded my head, understanding and not understanding at the same time.
Maybe it's just an adult thing. I'm only thirteen after all.
"Anyways, I wanted to talk to you about school things because we have to go school shopping soon." Salvestro commented, and my head snapped to his so fast, I heard a crack.
"We have to go school shopping?" I asked incredulously.
"Yes. You have school in a week or two." Salvestro replied, and my draw dropped to the floor as my eyes widened to quarters.
"But it's only August!" I protested, waving my arms around frantically.
"And August is when we usually start school?" Salvestro responded, voice becoming higher at the end of his question.
"No!" I denied. "School starts in September!"
A look of realization dawned on him as he stared at me, before bursting into a fit of laugher, holding the wall for support.
"What's so funny?" I scowled, and he wiped away a fake tear.
"It's nothing. You forgot that we are in the USA, Bambina. School starts in August here, and ends in early June." he laughed, and I nearly fainted.
"What? But that means I only had a month of vacation." I pouted, sticking out my bottom lip.
"Bambina, stop complaining." Salvestro admonished lightly. "It's just school."
"Have you not been listening to anything I've been saying the past hour?" I shrieked. "The Ontario curriculum is so behind the American ones. I can't fail elementary school there, and I can fail it here. Since my learning is also behind, and my knowledge is also so little, I'm going to be so behind from all of my classmates." I groaned.
"Oh." Salvestro said, "That's gonna be a problem." he muttered to himself. "It seems as if we're going to have to get you a tutor."
At his words, I face palmed and paled at the same time. The point of protesting was for me to not go to school. Not for me to get a tutor so that I can succeed in school!
~~~
"We're going to the mall, right now?" I said, rubbing my eyes.
"Yes, it is early in the morning and we have to get all of your uniforms and your new equipment." Salvestro answered, ushering me out of the bed.
"Where's Salvatore?" I asked, eyes still hazy.
"At work remember?"
Right. Salvatore has been so busy with work these days, he's not even at dinner anymore. I didn't see him for days on end, and the only time I could see him was the few glances I saw when I passed by his office where he was meeting with a few other people.
"Hurry up, Bambina. It'll take us a whole day there." Salvestro said urgently, and that prompted me to get ready faster, getting my hair out of my braid and letting it fall down in tight curls down my back.
"Ok." I grumbled, yawning as I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. By the time I was done, everyone was waiting for me at the entrance to the mansion.
"You ready?" Sandeo asked excitedly.
"Yep." I answered, popping the 'p'.
"Don't get too excited, Sandeo. You know what happened last time." Salvestro warned, but there was still a glint of amusement in his eyes as he recalled the... Fun memory.
"Right." Sandeo grimaced, before going back to his happy mood.
"And to think that he would've grown the fuck up by now." one of the twins grunted, and Sandeo shot him an offended glare.
"I did!" he said, pointing to his height.
"I meant your mental state. Not physical." Santino amended, and Sandeo only looked more offended as he scowled.
"I grew up, you guys just don't see it because you're stupid." Sandeo said, and Salvino shot him an 'Are you kidding me?' look.
"Says the one who failed senior year and has to stay one year behind." Salvino commented, and Sandeo turned red in embarrassment.
"I only failed senior year because I was sick." Sandeo defended as Salvestro pushed us to the car.
"Yeah, right." Santino scoffed, "You were sick for one day, and had a whole week to study."
"No! The first day I had to work for Salvatore, and the next day I was too hungry to work, and the next day I was to tired because I had no energy and the next day I-"
"Stop making excuses for yourself." Salvino interrupted, rolling his eyes while Sandeo looked affronted at his words.
"I'm not making excuses. I'm just saying the truth." he said stubbornly, but even I had a hard time believing his words. I didn't voice my opinion though, instead keeping them all to myself.
"Right." Sanlvino said mockingly, only earning a scowl from Sandeo.
"It's true!"
"That's enough, boys. Get in the car, and Sandeo, stop complaining and lower down your excitement level. You don't want a repeat of last time do you?" Salvesstro said, stopping the twins from retorting their response.
At Salvestro's words, Sandeo flushed pink, before putting his head down in shame.
Let's see how this trip to the mall will be.
***
Woohoo! I got the Chapter out on Friday before the weekends, I can't believe it. Anyways, I know that many of you are waiting for the voices to come back, and trust me, I haven't forgotten about those. I just wanted for Amara and her brothers to have a bit of a relaxing day before the drama starts again. Lol.
Anyhow, thank you so much for 2.5 k reads and over 150 votes! I really appreciate it, so thank you to much to those who voted! You have my gratitude.
That aside, what did you think of the chapter? As I said before, I just wanted a nice, relaxing chapter where Amara's true personality would peek out a bit more before being suppressed again. You readers should expect many more bumpy rides in this book, as I am going to be taking all of you on an emotional roller coaster!
Stay safe and peace out!
~ CRAZY40429 💋
QotC: What colour have you dyed your hair before? If you haven't, do you want to?
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