What was she doing? Leaning into Animkii's arms. Pressing her nose into his neck. Breathing in his musk that grew headier and richer the longer she remained in his arms. The rumblings of his chest spoke to the wolf within her and she couldn't help the whimper of need that escaped her. The way he uttered her name felt different this time. More intimate. Heavier and deeper than his usual vocalization. Her heart beat harder and faster. Butterflies danced in her stomach.
It was as though a powerful whirlwind of emotions were packed into the simple utterance of her name and it left her windless and breathless. Desiring him in a way a little girl could only dream of but not fully understand. There was a physical need within her, an ache to be filled that she never dared to acknowledge.
She could sense the kiss coming. The way he cradled her head in his hand. The slight tilt of her neck upwards. His breath on her lips. The pounding of his heart in his chest. The way his scent clouded her senses with a sensation she could only describe as desire.
And the moment his lips touched hers, there were fireworks and butterflies shooting off in all directions—the way she always imagined kissing him would be like as she'd stare at him from a distance playing sports or interacting with others; daydreaming of the day he would tell her he loved her and that they were soulmates.
Even as a little pup, she wanted him and no one else.
And then he hurt her.
And he wasn't her mate.
And the dream was only a fantasy that could never be anything more.
He groaned in pleasure, shifting his weight to dip her head further as his tongue licked her bottom lip, seeking entrance, but she yanked herself away with a gasp.
She stared at his stricken face as she struggled to fill her burning lungs with air. "You're not my mate."
Turning, she fled out of the banquet hall as her vision blurred. Her chest constricted. Her face burned with shame. How could she allow herself to get so close to him? To be pulled under the spell of their weak bond and kiss him? He wasn't her mate. He'd never be her mate.
She needed to save herself for her mate.
It was the right thing to do.
The best thing to do.
But it ached so much.
And as she marched down the hallway of the hotel, all she could think about was kissing him again.
"Chloe!" His voice rang sharp with authority behind her.
Her heart hammered against her chest as she picked up her pace, almost twisting her ankle as her heels clacked down the tiled hallway.
Don't stop. Don't look back.
She could hear him before he reached her and grabbed her arm. Spinning around, she could hardly breathe with her heart jumping up her throat.
Keeping her gaze down, she managed to garble out, "I can't."
"I understand."
The defeat in his tone raised the hairs on the back of her neck. She swallowed down the whimper creeping up her throat. She turned to leave again but he tugged her back.
"Are you really going to skip everything?"
She didn't want to meet his gaze but coerced herself to. Confidence was forced into her voice to reassure herself that she was doing the right thing. "Yes. He's not here, and I'm not interested in dancing anymore."
His Adam's apple bobbed up and down in his throat. "Very well. At least, let me walk you to your room."
A formal tone entered his voice, one he used when addressing the other average wolves of the pack. It scraped against her spine, causing it to straightened and her muscles to tense.
"That's not necessary. I can take care of myself."
His hands clenched at his sides before he put them behind his back. "I know. But it's more for my assurance."
Her stomach tumbled over itself. She inclined her neck before turning away from him. "Fine."
He followed a few paces behind as she made her way to the elevators and up to her floor, thankful that she agreed to carry the key card between her and her cousin. No doubt her cousin would be up late with her mate, dancing with him, eating with him, getting to know him better.
Jealousy flared up within her for a moment before she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and forced it out of her. Reminding herself to be happy for her cousin, she paused outside the door to her room before she turned to Animkii.
He looked like a kicked puppy, hanging his head with his hands in his pockets. His air of authority had all but vanished, replaced by a nice suit that weighed down on his shoulders.
She cleared her throat. "Thank you for walking me to my room. I'll be fine from here."
He nodded, not meeting her gaze. "Dinner's at nine."
"I'm not hungry."
"Please," he said softly, "try and come down to eat something."
She heaved a sigh. "I'll think about it."
Lifting his head, he met her gaze. Pain reflected in those dark eyes she had spent so many hours studying up-close. She could read him like a book. He never hid anything from her... until recently.
She envisioned him stepping close and kissing her. She imagined opening her mouth when he sought entrance and relishing in the taste and sensations erupting between them before they'd stumble into her room, falling on her back on the bed with him on top and her legs around his hips—before she shoved those fantasies away.
Tearing her eyes away from his, she unlocked her door and opened it. Taking a deep breath in and releasing it slowly, she said, "Sometimes... I wish you were less noble."
Turning back to him, she waited, half hoping that he would make a bold move.
Instead, he took a step back. "As you said: We're not mates."
Her lip trembled as her eyes prickled. Turning away, she stepped into her room and allowed the heavy door to close and lock on its own as the tears came tumbling down.
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Copyright Jo Lee Hunt ( Joflower ) 2020