It was killing him. Killing him that he didn't know what to do anymore, or how to fix anything. He missed her, but he knows that he fucked up and he doesn't deserve her. He wanted to talk to her, but he didn't even know what he was going to say. He was sure that no matter what things will never be the same between them.
Jisung: Hey, How have you been?
Jisung: I'm sorry that I'm texting you, I'm so sorry.
Jisung: I don't have anything to say to be honest.
Jisung: I don't even know why I'm doing this, but Suri I want you to know that I regret everything and I know that won't fix anything. I know it won't help me with anything, but I'm so sorry.
Jisung: You're more than beautiful, and you deserve the whole world and I was too stupid to ruin everything between us. Please take care of yourself.
Jisung's tears were running down his face, as he threw his phone beside him on the bed, hugging his knees close to him, not knowing why he decided to text her. He really didn't know what to do anymore. He grabbed his phone quickly as he heard a small buzz coming from it. He stared at Suri's contact for awhile not really believing that she texted him back. He opened the chat quickly, only for his tears to run down his face more, if it was even possible.
Suri: Do you have the fucking audacity to text her after everything. Jisung please don't ruin this more than it already is.
He stared at the message longer than needed, tears running down his face. He deserved that, he really did and he wasn't blaming anyone but himself.
--
The house was empty, everyone was either at the company or went somewhere to eat or probably somewhere suspicious, but Suri was home. She didn't feel like practicing or going outside to eat. She stayed in bed just like how she always did. She stopped crying, like she passed that phase quicker than she thought she would, or maybe her tears just ran out, she has been crying for the past 6 months or so. It doesn't feel like crying anymore, but it also doesn't feel like being okay. It doesn't feel like being herself again, she forgot about that a long time ago and she doesn't know how to go back to it.
One thing she was sure of was that she was extremely hungry. She started eating regular again, well the boys have been forcing her to eat whenever they see her, and she wasn't complaining of course after all they were worried about her. The second she opens her eyes all she sees is food, and she was sure that in the past two weeks only she managed to gain more weight then she lost.
She got up from her bed groaning loudly, knowing that she had to cook herself something or she'll just starve to death until the others come back. She was definitely regretting not going to eat with Felix and Changbin.
She stood in the kitchen for longer than needed, not really knowing what to cook for herself or maybe she was just way too bored to even cook something. Only when she was about to grab a glass so she can drink some water, she heard something falling down behind her and she only screamed not turning around to even look.
"I'm so sorry. I thought I was home alone." She noticed the familiar voice, so she turned slowly to glare at Hyunjin who was picking his americano's plastic cup from the floor, before grabbing a towel to clean the spilled americano.
"I thought I was too." Suri said, but then she stopped for a few seconds and Hyunjin only did the same when he noticed her reaction. This was the first time for them to talk again after months of barely taking or even being around each other. Even after the break up, Hyunjin found it really hard to talk to her, not that he didn't want, but he didn't know what he was going to even say to her and as much as he wanted to be beside her, he still felt as if he could be the reason for the break, even if it wasn't completely right, he still felt like it.
"So- Umm, what were you doing?" He asked, trying his best to break the awkwardness, listing to what Seungmin told him 'Man up and talk to her. Like you two were closer than back when you were trainees.'
"I- I was actually going to make something to eat, but I don't really know what to do." Suri chuckled, embarrassed as she had both her hands behind her back, looking anywhere but Hyunjin.
"Do you want me to cook for you?" Suri turned to him quickly, before shaking her head quickly.
"No, I don't want to die." Hyunjin rolled his eyes, looking at her disgustingly.
"I just want to let you know that I've been practicing and I'm really good now, so don-"
"Hyunjin you can't even make a cup of tea." Hyunjin faked a gasp, before pushing Suri away from the fridge, pushing her to sit on one of the chairs, giving her his back.
"You just don't know anything. Oh my god so judgemental." He said, more of talking to himself. He started learning how to cook so he can cook for her, as a thank you for all the times she cooked for him. When they used to be friends.
"Remember that time you made me your pasta when we were home alone?" Hyunjin started
"When you were too shy to ask me to make you food?" Hyunjin half turned to her, just so he can show her that he rolled his eyes then returned back to his food.
"You're so annoying." Suri was about to mock him back, but her phone buzzed inside her pocket. Her hands started to shake slightly as she read the messages on her phone.
Jisung: You're more than beautiful, and you deserve the whole world and I was too stupid to ruin everything between us. Please take care of yourself.
She put a hand on her mouth trying to stop the tears, or any voice coming from her.
"Hey, Do you want sauc-" Hyunjin turned to her, but stopped in his track, cleaning his hands and rushing to her quickly. "Riannon, what happened?" He watched the girl break down in front of him and tried his best not to panic.
He tried to stop her tears, but he couldn't do anything and he didn't even understand why she was crying, until he saw the phone between her fingers. He grabbed it quickly, reading the messages over and over again. He felt so angry, so angry that he could just got to Jisung and smash his head, until he can't breathe. He got so mad that after everything he thinks that he has the right to just randomly text her like that, after everything he did for her, after everything he did for her and Hyunjin, for her and her friends or anyone in her life. He can't do that after ruining her life for her, he can't act as if nothing happened between them. He can't.
Suri: Do you have the fucking audacity to text her after everything. Jisung please don't ruin this more than it already is.
He put her phone inside his pocket and moved closer to her, putting his arms around her as she tiredly putting her head on his chest.
"I'm so sorry, Suri. I'm sorry for everything. I promise you that everything will be better soon, just have faith in me."