The aftermath of losing someone is always the hardest part. Ava's body has been returned to mother nature, and her spirit has most probably transcended into heaven. A place of no troubles at least she is set free from this earth she won't have to deal with heartbreak, but I'm still here. I still have to move forward with longingness and constant pain screaming out for her.
“It's cool that they did that for her.” Ameria looks over at Ava's locker still blooming with cards, sticky notes, and flowers.
“Yeah, I overheard Principal Judith at the office talking about dedicating a bench to her,” Skyler says as her fingers glide away on her phone.
“A bench!” Ameria steps back “they making it seem like benches were her favourite thing in school. Why not dedicate a piece of art to her?”
“That would make more sense actually,” I add. “She did love art she spent most of her time in that art class more than any other place.”
“Exactly,” Ameria exclaims and throws her hand to the air. “Anyways are you and AJ Good?” Skyler asks leaning onto a locker.
“To be honest I don't know. You saw how caring he was during the funeral but after that, he got sorta cold.”
I slam my locker shut and the bell rings.
“Ugh now we have Math," Ameria rolls her purple eye shadowed eyes.
“I don't know what you complaining about your good at it,” I say as I begin to walk down the hall. Bodies shuffle past me some run to their class, others drag their feet and floors squeak with every step they take.
I enter the math class the board is scribbled with equations. Equations I know I will not understand. Sometimes I wish this subject didn't exist. Some students occupy their sits. I don't have to go so far to find my sit it's right in front. I got a perfect view of this board and the posters filled with math terminology. Mrs Ruth has placed all failing students in the front and all top achieving students at the back of the class.
Ameria steps in the class, zipping up her black leather jacket, she's still in all black just like at the funeral.
“You got this,” she mouths to me. It's a thing she always does to motivate me for math. It's sweet, but It doesn't make me want to try my best to ace this class. Mazin follows right behind her with his hands tucked into his black sweatpants and ears occupied with headsets. He nods up at me and his crystal necklace jingles a bit. I nod back at him and he disappears to the back of the class. Not surprised that he's not failing this class I mean just because his a heavy stoner doesn't mean he's dumb. AJ steps into the class he throws me a peace sign. He never wears shades to class, so he must be hiding his blood-red low faded eyes. He even has a little hop in his walk today, like he's bouncing off the face of the earth.
Skyler trails right behind him Her wavy long hair flows right behind her and she pushes back her chair, it screeches. And she takes her seat right next to me.
She slams her books onto the wooden table and runs her fingers through it looking for the right page. More hushed tones of voices enter the class. Chairs go on scraping the floor. And soon enough the soft clicks of shoes become louder. Followed by delicate humming. Long model pasty legs enter the room and the humming stops.
“Morning class.” Mrs Ruth smiles with thin red glossy lips.
“Morning Mrs Ruth,” the class sings back.
She rolls up her blue dress shirt sleeves and takes her maker. “Let's go on from last week's lesson,” she says as she pulls the orange strands of her hair to the back of her jewelled ear.
“Nora, please open your book” she then spins on her heeled shoes to face the board.
I flip through pages of numbers and concepts. I stop paging at pencil scribbles made by Ava. Her messy loopy handwriting sits at the top corner of my book.
Man why her legs so pale and ashy today and is it just me or she smells like mayo.
I smirk and turn to my right I have to ask Ava if she remembers writing this, but my eyes land on an afro haired boy whose eyes are glued to the board. “She's gone remember.” I think myself and my stomach dips into its self. She used to sit right next to me with her hair in a messy bun and a pen in the corner of her mouth. Sucking and teething on it like a baby. She would slouch in her seat or have her chin rest on her hand bored out of her mind.
I touch her insulting words and turn the pages again. Doodles of stick figures and flowers run of a few of my pages. Obviously drawn by Ava. She never paid any attention in Math.
My heart aches for her laugher for her to doodle in my pages, for her to write mean messages about the teacher. I need her here to complete me.
A loud knock stops Mrs Ruth from explaining the work. She walks over in her tight black pencil skirt and opens the door. She stands there for minute talks lowly to whoever holds her attention.
“Uh, Jake” she turns to look back at the class. “Could you please come here for a second?"
The chair screaks and Jake's patter of footsteps make their way to the front of the class. I didn't even notice him when he got into the class. Not surprised though. His hidden under a black oversized hoodie with red gym shorts and black sliders covering his toes with white socks.
Mrs Ruth grabs hold onto his arm and whispers something to him. She gently pushes him out of the class and shuts the door.
“Okay, let's go on,” she goes back to the bored and sighs.
A soft pat on my shoulder causes me to turn to Skyler. She slides her textbook to the edge of her desk. Her handwriting sits just at the side of the page with letters looping onto each other.
What do you think that was about? It reads.
I look above, Mrs Ruth is still facing the board at this point she's teaching herself. I quickly scribble back idk have you been talking to Jake thou?
“Okay does everyone understand now?” Mrs Ruth faces the class.
Skyler covers the words with her forearm.
“Yes, ma'am,” everyone else says. Mrs Ruth winged eyes glare at me, “do you ladies understand?"
I nod my head lying my ass off. Ameria is going to have to help me out with this work.
She turns back to the board using her left hand to go on jotting on it. Skyler quickly writes again on her book and passes it towards me.
No, I haven't spoken to him since the funer-
“Look I said I was there just to take a walk my story isn't going to change!” Jake's voice travels through the door causing hairs on my body to stand tall.
Skyler's wide eyes face mine. Mrs Ruth freezes in her spot with her one arm stuck to the board and the other planted on her hip.
“We just want to make sure you didn't see anything else.” Now Detective's Adams deep voice makes its appearance.
“You've told me that last week. You think I killed her!” Jake's livid tone goes on bombing through the class walls.
Sweat builds up at the back of my neck. Skyler abruptly places her hand onto my forearm squeezing it until her knuckles turn pale. Afro haired boy is stuck with a slouched back and his arms glued on to the desk. The thick silence seems to have everyone at a standstill. No pages are being flipped, no one dares to speak. Only heavy puff of breathing travels through the door. Is Jake getting that worked out over a question?
Detective Adams can't think he had anything to do with Ava's death? But he did ask a good question. What was he doing in the woods anyway? The same woods where bodies supposedly go missing. Who takes a walk during midnight in the woods anyway?
The door swings abruptly open revealing a glimpse of Detective Adams perfect posture topped off with his usual black attire.
Time unfreezes its self as Jake walks back in. Mrs Ruth cups her mouth and coughs with her amber eyes on the brink of popping out of their sockets. Skyler unclasps her hands from my arms leaving my skin to slowly bounce back to its normal form. Jake walks between the rows with his shoulders round and his hasty exaggerated steps. His hands are deep into his pockets, rounded by probably balled up fists. The black hoodie still covers his face but it doesn't hide the fury that is in him. He grabs his blue duffle back and places it over his shoulder.
“Uh, Jake we still have 15 minutes left.” Mrs Ruth glances at the clock above the door.
Jake says nothing and goes on walking.
“Jake!” Mrs Ruth yells as Jake steps out the classroom. He ignores her and she follows right behind him.
The class breaks out into clashes of conversations. Sentences jumble onto each other.
“That cop overreacting!” one voice yells
“Exactly like Jake could actually murder someone!” another says and my body covers up with cold creeps at the word murder.
“But real talk though is Jake okay he seems off,” A soft concerned voice asks, but everyone ignores that voice and goes on. Opinions overlap over each other like leaves falling and creating a heap. I turn around to face the chaos of conjecture. Raised eyebrows, effusive and dull expressions are written on some of the faces. From the loudmouth girl with a low-top fade and blue gum that smooshes around in her mouth as she talks and smacks at every chew. To the guy clinging on to his basketball. And the afro haired dude they all have a say in this case. It's a configuration of voices in the room. Some are living for the drama while others show concern.
My eyes land on Ameria, she holds on to her pink calculator and buries herself in the math problems. Probably the only problems she would like to deal with. Mazin's eyes dart around the from all the different opinions in the room. I wonder what he thinks AJ's eyes are still hidden behind his shades. He proceeds to place earphones into his ears escaping away from the madness.
Skyler's fingers dabble in her mouth her teeth are right at the point where she could easily chew off her coated black fair nails. What runs through their heads. Do they think Jake could have... You know...kill..ed Ava? Sure yes, his cruel jokes and pranks do cause torment, but him commit a murder?
Jake wondering In the forest late at night is suspicious.
In-between classes the police in their blue uniforms roam the halls. Stopping students in their tracks as if this is a highway to pull over people for driving over the speed limit. The cops pull them aside to an empty classroom and begin to jab them with questions.
“Great thing it's lunchtime honestly need to escape these halls" Ameria sibilates and slams her locker.
“How long do you think this is going to go on for?” Mazin leans against the locker. He takes a big bite into his red apple and it crunches. He then takes out his phone from his pocket.
“I don't know I think until they find the murderer,” I say to him. I mean how long does he expect this to go on for?
“Well they better find him or her quickly I hate this shit.” Ameria begins to take hasty steps. I follow right behind her.
And we pass the classroom where all the questioning happens. The door is shut tight and the glass is completely covered with a brown board.
Just as we pass by, the door abruptly opens and AJ steps out with his shades still slapped on to his face. His blue Nike bag hangs off his one shoulder. He passes us without even a hey. . Ameria doesn't bother to stop him.
We walk further down the halls and Ameria proceeds to push open the cafeteria doors. They flap open.
The cafeteria is fairly full with sits being occupied by different students. The hockey girls sit at their corner with their sticks leaning against the table. The lunch ladies keep handing over trays of food. Almost every table is occupied it's difficult to tell who sits with who. It's not like everyone is wearing a shirt that says hey we are the nerds or hey we are the cheerleaders. The only noticeable group that stands out are the hockey girls because of their red uniforms.
“You think Jake went home?” Skyler wonders as she turns around clearly looking for him.
“I think so I would go home especially with these leeches roaming the school trying to suck out stories from us.” Ameria immediately takes a seat and lays in her arms burying her face in them “So I guess we are not going to eat after all?” I try to light up the mood.
“Y'all can go eat I am not hungry” she murmurs. “To be honest I'm also with Mer here. I mean how can we eat right now.” Skyler adds.
“You seem so chilled about the whole situation,” Ameria sits up.
“I don't think me panicking will do much.”
“True,” Ameria agrees how's the new dosage of pills treating you.
My stomach twists I had forgotten that I had told her about that. I still haven't taken them. My dreams are still the same, but there less frequent Being off my pills has had its advantage.
The pills have been okay just still dealing with the symptoms I lie. I hope she can't read through the facade. Ameria has told me repeatedly that I'm not good at hiding any emotion or lie, but I hope the trick I learnt from this tik tok video works
I look at the space between her eyebrows and believe my lie. I am taking my pills I tell myself repeatedly hopefully it reciprocates this into my subconscious. I know that's weird to say and it probably bullshit, but the tik toker said I should find a way to make subconscious believe my lie I can't remember but it was something like that.
“Cool proud of you hey” she gives me a small smile. And guilt runs over me and I quickly land my eyes to my hands. I have to hide my reactions or else she will know hopefully she bought my lie well it seems like it. Nobody can find out on I'm not on my pills.
“You know you guys could have waited for me before just ditching me at the lockers.” I turn to face Mazin.
Ameria begins to laugh “so sorry dude it's been a crappy day,” she laughs again as Mazin takes a sit next to her.
“It's okay I guess I chose the wrong year to be the new student here anyway.” You good though he asks Ameria. She shrugs her shoulders and rolls her eyes “it's whatever man I'm good.”
“We still going to the park later right?” she asks.
“Yeah sure” Mazin nod his head “you guys want to go join us?” he looks at Skyler and I with his brows creased.
I nod my head a no. Skyler says yes. It's clear that they going there to get stoned it's what they did after the funeral.
“Yo Ameria” we all turn simultaneously to Afro haired boy the same guy I sit next to in math. “Your next,” he says.
“For what exactly?” Ameria leans back in her sit.
“The detective wants to talk to you next.” Ameria's mouth goes slightly open and her brows cross in worry.
“Man Its kinda crazy how he knows almost everyone's name in the school, but yeah good luck. Man, that detective is wildin though the question he asks is crazy and it's even awkward with the Vice Principal there. Don't try to lie to him that detective good. I swear he can read body language or something.”
Don't try lying to him Ameria. I hope she has nothing to hide.