[ 6:12 PM ]
{ perspective one }
we make it to a motel, not conversing with each other, and get a room.
we huff in relief in unison.
i throw my bag down tiredly and watch as soraya rushes toward the bathroom.
"shower," she simply states and closes herself in.
"so much for getting to know me," i mumble to myself, kicking my shoes off.
i plop down on the bed bouncing slightly, pulling my hoodie and shirt off collectively. i toss them on the floor, not giving a fuck, completely exhausted.
i hear the shower run and mentally wish i was the one taking the shower. i fucking need it.
i stare at the bathroom door and a very risky idea falls into my head. the lightbulb on and shining bright.
i stand, steadying my breathing.
this can go one or two ways.
i walk toward the bathroom door laying a hand on the door knob.
she'll either hate me or love me.
i twist the doorknob and push the door open slightly.
i can see steam starting to fog up the small room. i can hear her softly humming behind the shower curtain.
i step in, closing the door carefully and quietly behind me.
i should abort this mission.
i walk to the shower curtain and stand just before it.
don't be scared...
"OHMYGOD DOM! ARE YOU IN HERE?!" she shrieks.
i can't help but chuckle.
calm down ray.
"GET OUT!"
i have an idea... if you're down.
dominic david fike get the hell out!
can you just hear me out? you might like it.
no.
please?
get. out.
why can't you trust me for like five minutes? i want to try something but i don't want to try it if you're not down to do it with me. i want to respect you. if you hate my idea, i'll leave. promise.
it's silent for a while, just the water running.
what's your idea? idiot.
i grin.
you don't want me to see you and i'm sure you don't want to see me, but, i really could use a shower.
then wait?!
but that's no fun.
alternate idea? before i kick you out?
my complete idea is to just enjoy the moment for what it is. close our eyes and just be.
another silence.
i can tell she's contemplating. i'm starting to as well.
what was i thinking?
what sane person asks someone to be fully intimate with them three days after knowing them?
i'm such an idiot.
okay.
the one word causes my entire body to release an extra amount of dopamine that i would consider almost similar to the feeling of when you're on molly.
don't cap like you're not smiling on the opposite side of this shower curtain.
i'll kick you in the balls if even one pupil lays it's perception on my body. understand? i'm trusting you in this.
all that i hear, is that i'm in control of this situation and now i feel pressure to not overstep and drop her attitude towards me back down to level 1.
something about her. i shake my head.
something about me.
something about us.
i want to do this right.
i promise i won't do anything you're uncomfortable with.
she doesn't say anything else so i finish undressing and take a soothing breath as the humid air hits my exposed body.
i'll step in backwards if you want?
yes.
i turn around and step into the shower. it's just me and the shower wall tiles.
my heart PUMPS.
"i'm in!" i address to her shouting slightly over the water.
"close your eyes!" she demands.
i snort and do as she says.
"they're closed."
"why are we doing this?" she asks into the air.
maybe this will bring us closer.
"i'm turning around," i tell her.
"don't peek!"
"i won't," i laugh.
i turn around slowly and carefully as not to slip. my eyes are pressed closed so i'm trying to get a feel of my surroundings.
"what are we doing?" she chuckles.
can i have your hand?
i wait, anticipating her touch.
her hand presses against the middle of my chest, a burst of energy flowing through my body. i trail my fingers up her arm, coming to the top of her back.
i take a shaky breath as everything seems to intensify. our connection flowing through each other as one.
i place both of my hands on her shoulders and rub her wet arms up and down, a shock touching my fingers and palms every now and then.
i step closer but still leave a space between us. i move my head to the side of her face hoping i'm next to her ear.
"is this okay?" i whisper.
she lays her head against my chest, not speaking.
as i trail my fingers down her arms, i move them to her bare stomach. it wet, and rising and falling quickly to my touch.
i smile to myself.
she doesn't pull away. she doesn't reject me.
every touch is electricity. a tiny jolt of wonderment. just touching her does incredible things to me.
i trail horizontally slowly across her stomach, her breathing quickening.
i don't want to cross any lines.
she doesn't say anything. the water is the only thing to fill the void.
if you want me to stop-
"no," she breathes out, removing herself from me, turning around in my hold.
a hand lays on my cheek.
what are you doing to me dominic?
i let myself fall into her touch, relishing in the reaction and attention she's giving me.
i don't want her to go away.
she makes me feel like i'm supposed to be here. that there's something to always fight for.
i've never felt like this before. even about rapping. i never thought i would make it anyway.
she rubs her thumb over my lips.
you know i hate you right?
i smile, knowing that she could never hate me.
we both know that's not true.
her hand moves to the back of my neck.
there's nothing else that happens for a few. just her hand and the space between us i can feel.
a pair of wet lips are placed against my dry ones.
i don't do anything. her lips on mine doesn't feel real. am i imagining this?
i regret freezing once she pulls away and the warmness and tenderness of the kiss is gone.
"don't kick me in my balls," i whisper and open my eyes.