For a moment Sophia did nothing but stare at Mr Evans blankly, his words tumbling around her mind. She blinked and opened her mouth to respond but no sound was made. She was stunned beyond words.
Mr Evans' caramel eyes flickered down at his desktop as his hand slowly returned to his side. "I ... realise this might be a bit of a shock to you, considering all that you've undoubtedly read about me. I guess your mother didn't speak much about me either. I wouldn't blame her ... not after what I did to her."
Sophia frowned slightly at his words.
Mr Evans bit the inside of his cheek and looked Sophia over once more. "I can't believe I didn't register who you were. You look exactly like she did at your age." He shook his head. "Sophia Knight ... I guess they did get married after all. I had hoped it was just a rumour." A pensive look came over Richard's slightly aging features. "Um, how ... is your mother? Is she well?"
Sophia felt her heart drop at his words. Richard didn't know.
She felt her mouth go dry. "Uh ..." she stuttered and tried to swallow the sudden lump in her throat as she stared at the face of her mother's past. "Sir ... um, my mom died ... eighteen years ago."
Now it was Mr Evans' turn to look shocked as his eyes widened and his back straightened. "W-What?"
Sophia glanced down at her boots, feeling guilty as she always did when thinking of her mother. "I ... never knew her, she died when I was born."
Mr Evans sucked in a harsh breath as he shakily lowered himself down into his seat, his face growing pale as he stared at her in disbelief. It was a tense silence as Sophia awaited his reaction. She was expecting him to burst into a fit of rage at any moment, screaming his lungs out that Sophia was the cause of her mother's death (she's been expecting that from her father for the last eighteen years) but it never happened.
"Lizzy ..." His voice held such remorse that it made Sophia feel even worse. "How ... how come no-one told me?" he whispered and pressed his slightly trembling lips into a tight line. Sophia noticed his eyes had grown a tint redder. "If only I hadn't ... I," he frowned and realisation dawned on his face. "Wait ... she died when you were born?"
Sophia slowly nodded sensing the oncoming accusation that she predicted.
Mr Evans stared at her. "What happened? Were there complications? Did something go wrong? What?" he pressed.
Sophia's lips trembled at his rise in tone, but it was more from frustration than anger, she could tell.
"I don't know, sir," she replied as calmly as she could. "No-one ever told me."
"Your father had something to do with it, didn't he?" The soft, but venomous undertone of Mr Evans' voice did not go undetected by Sophia. He scowled. "That Cole was a danger to her from the start. I knew I should never have gone with her secret, I should've told her parents from the start." He curled his hands into tight fists. "If I had, she never would've fallen in love with him!" he snarled and slammed his fist down on the desktop.
Sophia flinched at the action and stared at Mr Evans wide-eyed, but he suddenly crumbled, slumping forward in his seat as he threaded his fingers through his hair, tears rolling down his cheeks.
"She would still be here if I had," his voice broke. "I should've been a better friend to her. When she was already struggling I just kicked her down further. I should never have said what I said to her. I should've protected her, I promised I would, but I did the exact opposite. My feelings should never have gotten in the way."
Sophia didn't know how to respond as she watched the always grumpy Mr Evans break down in front of her. She didn't know what he was referring to, but she had a feeling it was the scene that he had interrupted her from reading. What had he done to her mother that day? Nevertheless, Sophia still found it unnerving watching a grown man crumble from grief like this.
"Sir ... I'm sure that-"
"Sophia, please, if you're trying to comfort me, don't. I deserve to be feeling this right now," he said softly and Sophia pressed her lips together and remained silent. Richard sighed and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "I guess you've read what happened," he said and shook his head. "What an idiot I was. I wasn't thinking right that day. The fact that I loved your mother for years finally caught up with me, but I expressed it at the wrong time: when I was supposed to be there for her as a friend I tried to be there as a suitor.
"She rejected me, of course. I should've seen it coming, but I snapped and said things I never should have said to her. I was just so ... frustrated over the fact that I loved her for years and then suddenly some rich bad-boy waltzes into her life, sweeping her off her feet. I was so jealous that he managed to be with her in a way that I only dreamed of, but was too scared to pursue. I should've told her how I felt from the beginning, but she was just so happy with him, I couldn't deny her that happiness.
"But when I saw everything that she went through to try and be with him, what she endured, I began to despise Cole. So when I heard that she broke up with him, I was the happiest person in the world despite how broken she looked. Then when Cole was expelled I thought that it could finally be my chance to show her that I could look after her in a way more than a friend could. But then she rejected me ... and I never spoke to her again. I was planning to ask for her forgiveness one day, but ... I never knew that I wouldn't get that chance."
Richard looked up at Sophia and gave her the smallest smile, but his eyes were filled with sadness. "I'm sorry for rattling off on you like that ... I just- it was a bit of a shock for me."
"I understand, sir," Sophia nodded her head once.
Mr Evans looked away and silence encompassed them for a moment before he looked back at Sophia. "Well, how's your life been? You seem quite far from your mother's relatives."
Sophia nodded slowly. "My dad's job makes us move around a lot."
Richard nodded in understanding. "And ... how's he doing?"
Sophia bit the inside of her cheek, not knowing how to respond. "Um ... same as he was, I guess," she said after a moment with a small frown.
Richard shook his head. "No offence, Sophia, but I honestly don't know what your mother saw in him. They were on complete opposite ends of the spectrum. Never in my life would I have put the two of them together, but she loved him so I guess it all worked out, didn't it?"
"I guess so."
The silence grew before Richard finally sighed and looked up at her. "Well, I've held you back long enough. I'm sorry for looking at this without your permission," Richard said and handed the yellow book back to Sophia who gladly accepted it. "But I can't say I regret it. I never would have found out otherwise ..."
Sophia watched him swallow harshly and took a shaky breath. He looked down at her and Sophia could see how hard it was for him when he gave her a wobbly small smile.
"Take care, Miss Knight."
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For a moment my mind went blank as I stared at Richard's closed eyelids, his warm lips against mine. Suddenly, as though he was a hot plate, my eyes widened and I shoved him away from me, gasping in shock.
"W-What ..." I stuttered, unable to form coherent thoughts as I stared at Richard shocked.
Richard blinked and opened his mouth to speak. "I-I just thought that ..." he trailed off and looked to the side.
"You thought what? Why did you ..." I couldn't finish what I thought.
Why did you kiss me?
Richard licked his lips and looked back at me, his caramel stare penetrating mine. "You seriously can't tell why?" he asked, his voice a strange mix of emotions.
Frustration? Sadness? I couldn't tell.
I shook my head, thoroughly confused.
Richard's face turned hard as he scoffed. "Seriously? You can understand what some bad-boy's actions mean, but you can't figure out what your best friend thinks and feels?" his voice rose, only causing my confusion to grow.
"What are you-"
"Do I have to spell it out for you? I love you, you idiot!" Richard yelled at me.
I felt my brain short-circuit as I stared at Richard flabbergasted. My jaw opened and my eyes widened, but my tongue went lame.
Richard sighed and raked a hand through his hair. "I always have," he added in a softer tone and looked away from me.
A tense silence grew between us, the rain being the only sound heard. Richard took a deep breath and glanced at my face after a few moments. "Say something," he said gently, but I couldn't form any words.
He ... he loved me?
After a few more seconds of silence I saw Richard start to frown. "You seriously didn't have a clue?" I could only shake my head, still too stunned to speak. Richard's frown deepened. "You always knew what I was thinking. And I was so obvious about my feelings. How did you not catch on?"
I was about to respond, saying that Anne always teased me about how protective Richard was of me, but I couldn't. I can't believe I never realised before now. I always thought that that was just because I was his best friend, I had no idea there was more to it. I never knew he loved me.
Before I could reply Richard stated in cold voice, "You've changed."
I blinked at that. "What?"
Richard's eyes narrowed. "Ever since Cole came into the picture, you started acting different. Secretive, a liar; that's not the Lizzy I know."
"Excuse me?" I asked, feeling offended by what he said.
"You lied to me about everything that was going on in your life! You kept the fact that you were dating Cole a secret from me and I only find out due to the fact that his sister's ex-boyfriend attacked you in the hospital when I drove you there."
"I kept it a secret because it was safest."
A dark look flashed across Richard's darkened eyes. "Yes, safest so that your parents wouldn't find out that their youngest daughter is sleeping around. You didn't want them to know that you'd became a whore, did you?"
My face dropped. "What did you just say?"
Richard glared at me. "You heard me. Did you really think I would be happy being your cover-up boyfriend to the world, knowing what you were doing in the shadows? It doesn't work like that."
Getting over my initial shock, my brain started to kick in and I returned Richard's glare. "Hold on a second, you were the one who wanted to fake-date remember? I only did that to help get that stalker off you. There was no romantic feelings involved there. I was helping you as a friend."
Richard scoffed. "Yeah, right and busy doing Cole while you were at it."
My anger peaked. "You know you've got some nerve coming into my house and spouting insults like the weeds growing in my garden when you don't have a clue what went on between us. Cole and I never slept together, and I have never been with any other boy (as you well know) so you have no right to call me what you just did, because you know as well as I do that it's false!"
"He wasn't any good for you!"
"Don't you dare say that, at least he always respected me! Unlike what you've just done, he always protected and loved me."
"What do you know about love, Lizzy? You know he made you lose a close friendship, right?"
I faltered a moment, but before I could think it through, I muttered in a low voice, "And I'm about to lose another one."
Richard's eyes widened at my words. "What?"
I took a deep breath and levelled my gaze with his. "Get out," I whispered, feeling my heart crack at the thought of losing one of my closest friends, but his words cut me deep.
"Lizzy-"
"I said get out!" I yelled at him, shoving his jacket back at him, hoping he wouldn't see the tears beginning to press at my eyes.
Richard glared at me. "Fine, but don't expect me to come back."
And, with that, he stood and marched through the back door. I closed my eyes tightly and only once I heard the front-door slam shut, did I sink to the ground and let the tears flow.