Afrah's POV
Our faces are now inches apart and I find myself looking at his lips. Mentally, I knew it was wrong, and that's when I realised what I had just done. But there's no going back. And I don't want to go back. As soon as I think of inching closer, he moves back and turns his face around, clearing his throat. I move back, understanding the message. What was I thinking? I must have gone insane.
"I'm_" I start but he interrupts me.
"It's okay." He says and I realize he didn't want to talk about it.
"Assalamualeikum, Afrah," I hear a joyful voice coming from the door. It was Aidah. I didn't even notice when she opened the door. Junaid gets up, grabbing his jacket and leaving as soon as Aidah entered.
"Who was that?" She asks coming to me with baby Malik.
I was feeling so stupid for what I did and regret was written all over my face. Why, Afrah, just why?
How am I supposed to face him now at work? I'm quitting. I'm definitely quitting.
"Afrah, back to earth," Aidah clicks her fingers in front of me.
"Um, what?" I immediately get off the couch.
"I asked who that man was? Did anything happen?" She looks at me with concern.
"I_" I look to the floor as I realize my heartbeat has still not gone back to normal.
"Afrah, are you okay?" Aidah leaves the baby in the pram and steps closer towards me, placing her hand on my shoulder, "Are you crying?" She questions and that's when I realized my eyes were watery.
"No... I just..." I have no excuse and I am not making an effort to make one. What's the point?
"Who was that man? Did he do something to you?" She brings me close and wraps her arms around me. I close my eyes tight, trying to swallow the tears to make sure I don't cry. "Afrah, you're getting me worrying. Did he do anything to you?" She asks and I move away from the hug.
"He didn't do anything, I did... something terribly wrong," I say and rush to my room.
I keep asking myself why I did it but I know the reason perfectly. I'm falling for Junaid. Or better said, I'm already in love with him. I don't know when it happened or even when it started. All I care about right now is how to end it. It is obvious that he doesn't feel the same way towards me. Although sometimes he does things that make me believe that he does. Or maybe it's just me trying to find excuses to feel less pathetic. Whatever that it is, can someone please tell me how to stop this feeling? My heart aches and I want it to stop.
"Afrah," I hear someone call and that's when I realize someone is knocking on the door.
"Come in," I wipe my tears noticing it was my brother.
"Aidah told me you weren't fine. What happened?" He sits next to me on the bed.
"Weren't you staying overnight?" I question while still trying to wipe the tears away.
"I came to grab a change of clothes. Assad told me you went to dine with his mum and he brought you back home. Why didn't you call me to say you would go out tonight? Even if I'm working, I still want to know about your whereabouts." He says and I feel a tear stream down from my eye as soon as I heard Junaid's name. "Afrah_" He stops to look at me, "He went straight home after he dropped you here, right?" He asks and I knew he wanted me to say yes. "Afrah, stop crying and answer me." He speaks a little too authority.
I place my hand on my chest in hope of relieving the pain I felt but it was foolish. I never thought people were serious when they talked about heartbreaks and that their heart and even their stomach, ached in an inexplicable manner, but now I know that it isn't a joke. It really isn't. I felt as if someone was stabbing me over and over again. Because the pain comes and goes.
I know my brother is watching me but I couldn't care less at this point. He isn't stupid, he has already noticed what's going on. I can't make up any excuse and I don't want to.
"You're so stupid." My brother sighs pulling me to his arms and that's when I let the room be filled with sobs, "You could've fallen for anybody, except him." He says hugging me tighter. "Please, Afrah, bring me any other man and I will allow it, but not him. I beg you not him."
"It hurts..." I sob helplessly, "Please make it stop hurting... please,"
"It's all my fault... I'm so sorry. I'll end it here, I promise." He says making me part from him. He kisses my forehead and rushes out of my room.
I had not the minimum idea of where he was going or what he was going to do but I didn't have the energy to find out or even to act nosy.
I know he doesn't like to see me like this, so I should pull myself together and stop acting like a child, starting with a deep breath.
Ismail's POV
As soon as I leave home, I call Assad to find out of his whereabouts. "Assad, where are you?" I ask him once he answered.
"What do you want now?" He questions supposedly knowing why I'm calling him.
"Are you home? I'm on my way there."
"I'm at Marcus'" He answers and I hang up, driving to Marcus' place.
Gladly it was night time and I reached his home in a couple of minutes. I find Assad waiting for me outside and as soon as I reach him I grab him by the collar of his shirt pushing him straight against the wall. "What did I tell you? What did I tell you about hurting my sister? You should've stayed away from her the moment I warned you she was developing feelings." I say it louder than I intended, letting anger take over me.
"You're right. I should've listened." He holds my hand making me release him.
"You must be joking." I sigh in frustration, "She's at home crying and feeling stupid for falling for you. How dare you hurt her like that? Just because you stayed years away from us, have you lost all your consideration for us?" I shout, not minding the neighbours at all.
"Consideration?" He sneers, "You haven't changed one bit. Do you really think I'm the one being inconsiderate?" He asks rhetorically, "You're the one wanting to keep this a secret from her. I told you we should've told her about me from the moment you found out she worked at my company, and what did you say? You told me it would be fine, that she would be better off not knowing who I truly am. Don't try to put all the blame on me. You're as equally to blame as I am." He raises his voice and I realize this is really the Assad I knew. Rebellious and never afraid to speak up his thoughts.
"It happens that she's my sister and I can't stand seeing her like that."
"Then go and tell her everything. Not only about who I am but also and especially the fact that her mother is alive because if you don't do it now, she will hate you when she finds out from somebody else. We can't protect her anymore, they are already behind us. I would go tell her myself but she would probably not believe me. Do your job as her older brother and guardian and stop making a fool of her. She isn't stupid. And she definitely isn't the ten-year-old child she used to be."
I close my eyes and sigh in frustration once again. I knew he was right. I know I should've told her the moment she reached an appropriate age that would allow her to understand everything that's going on. But I got too scared and now I am trapped. I don't know what to do. She's all I have and I don't want her to start hating me for all these secrets which should have never been secrets in the first place.
Afrah's POV
After I finished my wudhu, I prayed the two rakats of forgiveness. Although we didn't properly kiss, that's what my intention was. I also needed to ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to protect my heart against everything that he dislikes, especially feelings that will draw me to sinning.
***
I wake up with the outside light hitting on my face. I should have closed the curtains yesterday. I always seem to forget and it usually bothers me very much, but right now I couldn't care less.
I check my phone and see a message from Junaid's mother, -Assalamualeikum. Good morning beautiful. I hope our walk in the park is still up. I will be waiting for you there in an hour.
Yesterday, I had seriously thought of not going out today, but now that I'm feeling a little better, I came to the conclusion that Junaid's mother had nothing to do with this. I spent a good time with her yesterday so maybe if I go with her today I might be able to freshen my mind and forget everything about yesterday.
I do my morning hygiene and put an abaya on and a hijab before leaving towards the kitchen. Nobody was at home. Aidah must be at work already, I should've woke up earlier to stay with the baby. In Shaa Allah, they'll never ever see me like that again. Yesterday should remain as the first and last time.
I notice that Aidah had fried some eggs and bought my favourite hot chocolate. I love how she doesn't talk much, instead, she does this kind of gestures to show that she cares.
After having my breakfast, I leave my house, towards the park. Half an hour later I reach my destination and find Junaid's mother waiting for me. She wasn't with the other lady today, she was alone.
"Assalamualeikum, Ms Aminah." I greet when I reach her.
"Waaleikumum Salam, darling." She smiles and opens her arms for a hug and I do so.
"I hope I didn't make you wait for long," I say as I push her wheelchair and we walk slowly around the park.
"Not at all. I also just arrived. Have you had something to eat yet?"
"Yes, I just ate before coming."
"This Park is enormous. Does it have a name?"
"Hyde Park, the largest park in Central London."
"I figured it would be special. Oh, there's an ice cream man, let's get ourselves some ice-cream." She smiles as she sees the ice cream man from far.
We get our ice creams and sit down on the huge picnic mat Ms Aminah had brought. I didn't remember to bring a mat.
"This feels nice. Being out early morning on a nice day, especially to a place like this." She smiles and looks at me. Soon her smile is wiped away as she seemed lost in her thoughts.
"Is everything alright, Ms Aminah?" I ask with concern.
"I think I just had a memory." She answers but still looks confused.
"That's good, your memory is coming back, slowly."
"Yes, but I don't know who the girl was."
"Which girl?"
"She was in some of the pictures of the photo album, yesterday." She answers and I suppose it's the girl we didn't know about. "It's fine, It must be a wrong memory. The doctor said familiar situations may intrigue wrong memories."
"But, are you okay?" I ask and she nods with a smile.
"Yes, I'm fine darling, you don't need to worry. By the way, who did you go home with yesterday? Assad was stressing about the fact that you had gone on your own. He went looking for you. Did you guys meet?"
"Yes, we did." I leave it to that.
"That's good to know. You shouldn't wander around on your own at night." She says putting her hand over mine. "Although we just met, I feel a special affection towards you. Like a mother would for her daughter. So please take care of yourself and don't make me worry for you." She says and I nod agreeing.