Chapter 40 –
My heart drops down to my knees. There was no way I could fix this mess that I’ve created. There are so many things I could’ve done differently, but because of my goddamn pride I couldn’t, I didn’t.
Decorus begins to talk again, but tears drop down on my cheeks already.
“There are so many reasons why I should hate you. I should have left when I told you because there was no other reason to stay. But for some reason I can’t bring myself to hate you. I wish I hated you, but I can’t.”
I breathe out a sigh of relief. “Why didn’t you take it?”
"I didn't take your blood because I knew it would hurt the person that meant the most to me. So many times people betray the ones they love for selfish greed. I didn't want to follow in those footsteps." Decorus says, with an emotion I couldn't quite recognize.
"Do you regret not taking it?"
"Why would I? My scar is a constant reminder that I haven't betrayed you and I never will."
"Never's a long time." I point out. Although I'm not dubious about his promise I wanted to hear his confidence within those words.
"I say things knowing the consequences. And I make promises that I will die keeping."
"Do you resent me?"
"I'm guessing to anyone that much could be obvious. I do resent you." He answers. In a way I suppose I'm glad he was being honest even though it's hard to hear.
“I’m sorry.” I hear Decorus getting ready to speak, but I interrupt him once more. “And I know that won’t change anything, but I want you to know that I hate myself for what I’ve done.” Tears spring from my eyes and I let them fall down towards the floor. I didn’t know what else to say. Nothing could make up for what I did. The only reason I found a need to talk to him now is because I’m scared that the longer I put this off, the worse the situation will become. A vendetta only becomes stronger as time goes on. It’s better to apologize now and be relieved tomorrow. Only in this case, it wasn’t the revenge I was scared of; it was the hatred I know that would come along with it.
“I’ll be waiting for you to come back, Decorus .” I feel complete disappointment at the lack of response at my comments.
“Okay. You’ll see me in a couple of days since I expect all of this to blow over. Many people seem genuinely happy to see that the old legend has come to life.” Decorus replies, with absolutely no emotion in his voice.
I flinch at his tone. He responded as if I really was a leader he had no connections with. It was as if all the ability to joke around was lost and buried six feet under.
“Okay. Thank you, Decorus for everything. I mean that.” I whisper out. “And tell Abditus and Immitis to enjoy their stay there.”
Decorus didn’t need to respond to that and he knows that. So instead he lets the silence swallow the conversation whole. I take a deep breath and hang up knowing that even if I had something to say he wouldn’t respond. I hang up with a hole in my chest.
I have hope that this will ease up when the Strong Three comes back. Although I didn’t really love the idea of calling them that, that’s who they were. Whether they had the power to rule or not the three of them together would always be the Strong Three. And when Decorus comes back, that’s when we could truly work this out… hopefully.
I hear groans coming from downstairs which ultimately lifts me from my thoughts. I walk over to bathroom and stare at my reflection. My face gave off an unusual shade of pale and although I am quite pale, this color made me look terribly sick.
I reach in my medicine cabinet to until I find a pouch that held the essential makeup products. I never found a need to do it every day. A bare face shouldn’t be something one should be afraid of instead it should be something one embraces. I grab a foundation I haven’t touched in so long and spread it across my face with my fingers. Then I smear blush across my cheeks and finish off with a dark eyeliner look. I take a step back and am impressed at the result. My eyes look dramatically bigger and my face is completely flawless. I quickly clean up and walk downstairs.
“So what was the groaning about?” I ask, walking down the last step. Everyone snaps up to look at me and their eyes widen as their mouths go slack.
Well this was awkward.
“Damn, you look hot.” Toby whistles and shouts.
I roll my eyes and slap the back of his head. I cross my legs as I sit on the couch and grab the remote control to change the channel. The attention that was put on me didn’t bother me too much since my priority of this moment was just to find a soothing cartoon show to watch.
“Did you just change the channel to SpongeBob Squarepants?” Archie states in shock.
I mindlessly nod, distracted by the colored krabby patties.
“How is she this old again?” Ben asks, bewildered as well.
“Shhh…I’m channeling my inner seven year old.” I reprimand, putting my finger to my lips.
“Did you just say you’re channeling her inner child?” Toby laughs out. I nod shushing him once more. Laughter is bursts throughout the room and groans come from each corner as their stomachs become sore from laughing too hard. My eyes widen and my mouths slacks open.
“Did Ben just talk?” The remote dropping to the floor as the shock registers in.
“Is that all you see in this picture that’s wrong?” Archie questions just laughing even harder.
I roll my eyes and shrug, going back to my cartoon.
Damon stands up wiping the remaining tears and nods toward the bedroom upstairs. I cock my head in confusion, but he just repeats the gesture. I take a sigh and follow him into the room. I quietly close the door behind me as Damon sits on the bed, patting the spot next to him. I cautiously sit next to him and nod my head in encouragement to say what he wanted to say. It seemed as if we were a couple obsessed with talking with signs and gestures. We must look like freaks to outsiders.
“Did you have a chance to talk to Decorus ?” Damon breathes out. I knew his questions all were interconnected somehow so I know I have to answer to find the importance of them in the end.
“I don’t know if you could call it talking.” I scratch the back of my neck. I guess I’m kind of embarrassed of showing how much Decorus didn’t want to converse with me.
“He explained something to me.” Damon mutters off, unhappy with what he’s about to tell me. Before I could utter another word, he continues to talk. “I’ve explained it to them in the living room while you were in the room, but we will continuously go as a group.”
“That’s fine as long as a couple of them are put as a far guard.” I explain, not comprehending what the problem is.
“That’s the thing.” Damon groans. “Decorus is persistent in making all of us stay within a one inch radius of you.”
“Why do you find a need to listen to him then?”
“Because he’s absolutely right and I hate that. I hate that he comes up with these reasons that make complete sense and I didn’t. I should’ve been the one to do all that. It only takes one second for a bullet to go through your head from each direction. Once multiple bullets are in there for too long, it’s too much even for a werewolf to handle. The brain is the most sacred organ for any species. The more people we have with you the better.”
“So you’re telling me you’re aggravated that you didn’t come up with this.” I clarify, unsure of his underlying message.
He nods putting his head in his hands. A wide grin spreads across my face and I lightly hug him for a brief second and ruffle his hair. “Well I guess I can’t argue with that.” I comfort him. As I was soothing his anger I laughed off the worries he had. I am immortal and therefore a bullet wouldn’t hurt me. I don’t know the exact effects of how much I can take until my body goes to a never ending coma or my immortality is lost, but I knew Decorus was right in a way. It wouldn’t take long for Damon to be outnumbered and cause me to be kidnapped. That was in neither of our best interests. This was for the best.
At least I hope so.