[ 8:47 AM ]
"fuck reeves! answer!" i growl into my phone, my body anxious and nervous.
"you've reached reeves masterson, i'm not by the phone right no-"
"of course you're not!" i yell into the receiver and hang up.
i toss my phone on my bed and stare at my hands. i've been doing this all night.
pace.
stare at my hands.
try to get in contact with reeves.
what the fuck even happened?
did i just imagine all of that?!
why would i?!
i'm not drunk or high, so what the hell is going on?!
i pace my room, shaking my hands like there's water on them as if that would help.
i don't know how i shot orbs out of my hands!
and on top of that, i can't believe he had the audacity to tell me i'm just like my mother.
fucking asshole! he doesn't know shit about me!
my door swings open, banging against the wall.
"yo, i don't want to deal with your shit right now georgia, i swear," i say turning to her as she stands in my doorway, looking sad and concerned.
"i wanted to say sorry," she apologizes, standing timid.
"you strung out?" i question, crossing my arms over my chest.
"i'm not trying to argue either soraya. i'm apologizing. i know i haven't been the best mother, and you haven't been the best daughter-" i roll my eyes. "-but maybe we can make this work."
i hate when she gets to this stage of her cycle because she's never sorry and she'll be back to cursing me out. i fell for it too many times before.
she'll never change.
that's why i'll never forgive her. she'll forever put me down so i'll stay at her level.
it used to upset me; absent father and mentally abusive mother. i used to want a perfect family.
now all i want is her out of my life.
"okay," i simply state. i'm over the conversation. i don't have the time to entertain her delusions.
something could be very wrong with me.
"so you forgive me?" she asks hopeful, as if she's seven years old.
i take care of a 38 year old grown child.
"please leave."
"soraya why can't you just forgive me?"
"i'm not giving you that satisfaction. leave my room georgia."
"YOU UNGRATEFUL WHORE! I RAISED YOU FROM NOTHING! I PUSHED YOU OUT OF MY FUCKING VAGINA! YOU NEED TO LEARN MANNERS!" she screeches, her entire demeanor changing in a blink of an eye.
"leave," i calmly tell her.
"YOU NEED TO LEARN TO RESPECT YOUR MOTHER! YOU'RE 20 DOING ABSOLUTELY-"
"leave!"
"-NOTHING! YOU FUCKING DON'T DO SHIT AROUND HERE! YOU FUCKING SLUT!"
"Leave!"
"YOU PROBABLY HOE YOURSELF AROUND! THAT'S PROBABLY HOW YOU GET MONEY!"
"LEAVE!"
"THAT'S HOW YOU GET MONEY HUH?!"
"LEAVE!"
"THAT'S HOW YOU GET MONEY YOU FUCKING BITCH!"
"LEAVE! LEAVE! LEAVE!" i scream at her from the top of my lungs, a surge of energy flying from my body. my room door slams closed in the process, everything silent and still.
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"
i breathe hard, standing in astonishment at the fact that i just slammed my door without being anywhere near it.
"okay so maybe i'm not hallucinating," i whisper to myself.
"FUCK YOU!" she yells through the door, banging on it once.
what the fuck is happening?
i start to pace my room again feeling like if i don't stop soon, theirs gonna be feet marks so bad that i'll be in the downstairs apartment.
who is that asshole guy?
how did he have a force field?
was that even what it was?
do i have one?
is he apart of any of this?!
what the hell is going on?!
i grab my phone with my headphones and step into the living room area where i see my mom shooting up on the solo recliner.
"and i'm the disgusting one?" i question out loud.
"go fuck yourself," she dismisses.
"love you too georgia," i remark, smug.
"you know, one day you'll miss me," she chuckles, her demeanor changing as the drugs enter her system.
"oh, your yelling? your constant put me downs? between all of the shit i'll miss in the future, you would be least of all."
she laughs obnoxiously, making me roll my eyes.
"you're saying that now."
"please tell me the last time you told me you loved me? or were proud of me? or how about the last positive appraisal? if you dropped dead this exact instant, i wouldn't shed a single tear," i spit at her.
she grins at me until her nose starts dripping blood. she brings a hand up, wiping at the blood to look at it.
i scrunch my face into confusion as blood starts running from her eyes.
"soraya," she coughs, dropping the needle. blood flies from her mouth as she tries to stand. she stumbles forward before falling in the middle of the living room. blood starts to flow from her mouth and ears, seemingly where there's a hole in her body, and i watch as she struggles to breath. "ba- baby," she wheezes out, extending her arm to me, a look of confusion on her face.
i walk my way over to her, standing over her. i watch as she reaches up to me, her body shaking uncontrollably. i bend down just enough to where she can't touch me.
her mouth is covered in dark red and i can hear her choking on her own blood.
"see?" i smile at her. "not one tear."
i insert my headphones, take a step over her body, and leave out.