A short memory flashed through the depths of my mind. I was just a naïve little girl in that memory, cheeks flushed pink with the wind and eyes that shone with innocent and undiluted happiness. I was shaking hands with a younger Rebecca in that memory, both of us agreeing on our friendship pact. A boy, a few years older than me, started chasing us with water guns in that memory. In that long-forgotten memory of happiness, there was Ezra.
Most of my childhood was spent in the city; we only moved to Bloomville when Ezra started having problems. Rebecca Rose was my first and best friend back then. We were so close, people thought we were sisters.
I was always the pretty kid when growing up while Rebecca had the awkward child growth, braces, and all. She had a crush on Ezra and him on her. She and Ezra started dating when we were in middle school. From there onwards, things kind of started going downhill.
Ezra had always been the type of person to openly express his thoughts and trouble, unlike me. He had no problem with trusting people, and perhaps that was his mistake.
We were both vulnerable due to the mother's abuse and father's negligence, but he always had it worse. Mother would repeatedly beat him, and if he tried to resist, he would lock him up in the basement. To avoid her wrath, I became the perfect daughter. Sorry, I meant the perfect puppet.
Ezra had unburdened himself to Rebecca, and she kept his secret for a while, and everything was okay. The real problem started when they had a falling out. Rebecca threatened to use his secrets against him. She became manipulative, using him and his money however she pleased.
Sure, Mr. and Mrs. Rose were rich, but Rebecca wanted more. She became jealous and spiteful, and by the time I realized, it was too late. Ezra was far lost in his depression, and our parents were not helping matters.
It was only when the mother realized her reputation was on the line that we moved to Bloomville. Ezra was kept a secret from the people, and his condition didn't improve. Somehow, he found the dark parts of the town and got addicted to weed and drugs. No matter how bright he smiled, the effects of the depression and drug addiction were still very much evident, and it continued till the day he decided life wasn't worth living anymore.
Rebecca Rose had played a big part in my misery. Because of her, Ezra became depressed, and because of Ezra, we moved to Bloomville, where my acting career started. In a way, I blamed her. She betrayed me as a friend, choosing power and greed over me.
However, Ezra might have given her a little insight into the Del Lana family, but he didn't give her full details. Rebecca was only aware of the fact mother abused us, which was what she used to blackmail Ezra into being her boyfriend with social benefits. She exploited his own crush on her and vulnerability against him.
I was still watching her after Gym class. It turned out she only had Chemistry and Calculus with me. I got to know this when Mrs. Bracket tried to get me to give Rebecca her schedule. I outrightly refused. I didn't want anything to do with that snake.
Throughout the rest of the day, I was on the edge. My friends were worried and suspicious about the sudden change of mood. I tried as much as possible to avoid Rebecca, but all that seemed pointless when she cornered me after school.
"Monalisa." she drawled with a smirk on her face.
Deciding to not cower before her, I stood taller and raised my chin higher.
"Rebecca."
I saw the amusement swirl in her blue eyes, and they made my heart drop for a minute. This was all a game to her, and it seemed I was playing the part she wanted me to. I crossed my arms against my chest and scanned the hallway we were in; it was deserted.
Glaring at her, I spat out.
"What do you want?"
A humorless chuckle passed the lips of the beautiful girl I once called my friend. When she was done, she picked up a strand of my straightened hair and began to twirl it, pulling it in the process.
I slapped her hand away before she could do any more damage to my scalp and intensified my glare. She looked at me amusedly before taking a step back. She was toying with me, and she enjoyed it.
"What do you want?" I repeated, gritting out my teeth.
"When daddy told me we were coming to a little town almost in the middle of nowhere, I almost died. How did he expect me to survive? But then imagine my surprise when I got here, and I found out about the town's favorite darling. And when I realized that my ex-boyfriend was nonexistent in this town, I immediately became curious. I knew then that maybe this town isn't so bad; after all, I have the company of my best friend."
Her mentioning Ezra was like putting salt in an open wound; it stung badly. I barely contained my shaking as I stared at Rebecca with raw hatred in my eyes.
"I won't repeat myself again, Rebecca, what do you want?"
She dared to look smug as she allowed her eyes to leisurely roam around the empty hallway. When she looked at me, the amused gleam in her eyes was gone. What was now left was a stern look of calculation.
"I wonder what would happen if the whole town found out about poor Ezra. I bet they would eat it up and turn you from town's favorite to whatever is the opposite of favorite."
Despite my fear of her words, I raised an eyebrow at her giggling form. What was with everyone trying to reveal my secrets? Couldn't they just back up and mind their own businesses.
"Are you threatening me, Rebecca? Trust me when I say it won't go well for you."
Mother's number one rule she drilled in me right from little was:
Never show your opponent your weakness. Wear a big smile if you must, and they won't use it against you.
A smirk was the only response I received as Rebecca strutted out of my view.
"See you later, Monalisa," she called back, her voice ringing out in the empty hallways like a siren's song.
When I was sure I was alone, I sank to the ground and put my head on my knees. I didn't have to worry about flashing anyone my underwear; the uniform skirt covered it for me.
The gravity of Rebecca's presence in Bloomville High was pressing me down to the ground. I might have a strong fort towards people, but I knew that if people found out about Ezra, everything mother has worked to build for her reputation as the perfect mother and I, as the ideal daughter would come crumbling down. And I would be at the receiving end of the mother's anger.
I picked myself up and managed to drive back home, which was a miracle concerning the fact that I wasn't paying attention to the road.
"I'm home." I dully announced and made a move to go to my room. I noticed a movement in the kitchen and went to inspect.
Mother was in the kitchen, her blonde hair tied up in a messy bun and flour off her straight, beautiful face. She looked plain in the pink apron she was wearing; she looked alright. How a mother should look like, not the puffy-eyed woman or primed to perfection woman, she usually was.
Her eyes lit up when she spotted me in all my confusion and ran towards me. She hugged me tightly, and I breathed in the perfume and spices from whatever she was cooking.
She led me to the sofa and adjusted her apron while smiling at me. I was still shocked and too baffled to actually say anything.
"So, how was your day?"
How do I answer this woman? My answer could be the thing that ends whatever game mother was playing. The problem was, even knowing fully well that mother might be acting all nice and loving because she wanted something, I couldn't help but to play along. Even if it would prolong the façade for a minute more, I didn't care. It was so lovely, so easy to pretend like everything was alright, and I had a loving mother to lift up my spirits at the end of each lousy day.
"Fine."
Mother moved closer to me and began to stroke my hair. I tensed against her touch and watched as she looked transfixed with my hair.
"Beautiful." I heard her mumble but pretended not to have heard it.
"You know I love you, right?"
Mother asked suddenly, catching me off guard. She was looking at me with love and affection, but they seemed forced, artificial even. I looked away and swallowed the lump in my throat.
One more minute, just one more minute, and I would end this game without entering uncharted waters. I just wanted to pretend some more, especially after Rebecca's unexpected arrival.
I felt a sharp pain in my skull, and I realized a little too late that I had exceeded my thinking time.
"Yes, mother." I forced out.
The pain from my skull receded as my mother let go of my hair and continued stroking it.
"And you know I would never do anything to hurt you, right?"
This time, I didn't make the same mistake twice. I quickly replied in the same manner, and the mother awarded me with a smile. I was already beginning to feel sick. This was wrong, this was all wrong, and I wanted it to stop.
"You have to understand, darling Monalisa. I am your mother, and I love you. Everything I am doing is for your own good. I am grooming you for perfection. You are going to thank me later in the future for everything, trust me. We can't allow any weakness now, which is why I am going to take care of that black boy for you. Mummy's going to make sure he never disturbs you, okay?"
I stood up from the sofa like I had been burned and made sure to keep a reasonable distance from her.
"Don't touch Dwayne!"
Mother sighed and stood up. When she was facing me, I saw why the love and affection felt fake. Hidden among those forced emotions were an annoyance and her calculating mind. Just like that, the warm mother that greeted me a few minutes was gone and nowhere to be found. In place of her was my mother, angry, bitter, and irritated by me.
"I can get rid of him, and you will go back to Brian and be happy."
"I am not happy with Brian, and you know it," I said, close to hysterics. Mother hissed in warning, I had raised my voice, and she did not like it.
"Ever since that, Dr. Jeremiah's son arrived, you have become wilder and uncontrollable than ever. Do you think I wouldn't find out about Brian and the public disgrace that boy made you orchestrate? Can't you see what a bad influence he is on you?"
I shook my head to block out all the words and lies she was spewing at. She wanted to manipulate me into her biding.
"He didn't make me orchestrate anything. I have a free will, you know?"
Mother looked at me for a while and tilted her head to the left curiously. I felt open, vulnerable. The way she looked at me was like she was analyzing my body language. Like how a predator would look at his prey, how a mad scientist would look at his subject of an experiment. I think we all know whose role belonged to whom.
"You do, don't you?" there was a tense silence after mother talked. We were sizing each other up, mother and daughter. Mother rolled her shoulders and shrugged, already making her way back to the kitchen.
"Well, in that case, it can't be helped then."
I was so determined to make sure she didn't hurt Dwayne that I tried to stop her. Mother's eyes flashed angrily at my action, and before I could fully comprehend what was happening, she had my left palm pressed tightly to the pot where she was cooking soup.
I cried as I tried to struggle with her to free my hand, the searing pain coming from it drove me to wild desperation. Mother held on tightly, only releasing it when it began to take on an ugly red shade. I was weeping in pain when she leaned in.
"Next time, keep your hands to yourself." she hissed in my ear and applied pressure on my palm. I scrambled away from her and ran to my room. Once there, I dropped to the ground and started crying while clutching my red hand.
All I wanted was a typical day, but that wasn't meant for me, was it?
*****************
It had been almost two weeks now since Rebecca came to Bloomville. The excitement of a new girl had died down but not by much. It wasn't everyday Bloomville High had new students over.
Rebecca had immediately made her intentions of taking over my position as the favorite of the school known right from the second day. She now moved with Jasmine and Viola, occasionally trying to be buddy-buddy with my friends. I noticed she was always trying to be with Dwayne. Whether it was an innocent, real crush, I didn't know, but knowing Rebecca, I'm sure it's anything but innocent.
Rebecca's cold attitude towards me and my conservative attitude towards her was quickly noticed by my friends. When she came to kiss up to their asses, I always excused myself, not wanting to be within a mile radius of her.
I was going to my locker to drop off some notes and textbooks I didn't need before I went home when I hear voices. The voices sounded familiar, and they were coming from the classroom besides me. I leaned in to eavesdrop when I found out I was alone.
"I like you." I immediately recognized the voice on hearing it again. I resisted the urge to enter the classroom and slap the owner. I leaned in more to find out who she was talking to and what they were talking about.
The second person remained quiet for a while before answering as the strong velvety voice reached my ears and tingled in familiarity. Dwayne was the second person, and so my curiosity on the topic of their discussion heightened.
"Look here, Rebecca, I don't know what your game is or what beef you have with Mona, and I honestly don't care. I won't be a pawn in your game, and by the way, I like another person."
I think my heart skipped a beat. Rebecca was beautiful, gorgeous even, and yet Dwayne had rejected her without hesitation. He claimed he had feelings for another. For a fleeting moment, I fancied the thought of him being in love with me. And then, I woke up. It was impossible; no one would ever love me. You don't fall in love with pretty, fucked up, and broken things. I pushed away my depressing thoughts to continue listening.
I heard a little too late, the sound of approaching footsteps, and from their strides, it was Dwayne. I barely had time to move when fortunately for me, Rebecca screamed.
It's her, isn't it? I am going to destroy her. I'll make all of you watched your beloved princess fall."
It sounded like she was having a little tantrum. I managed to catch Dwayne's straightforward advice to her before I moved away from the classroom door to appear like I just arrived.
"I advise you don't."
Even in plain sight, Dwayne was too caught up in his anger and thoughts to notice me. The livid person that came out after him, not so much.
"You!" she sneered at me.
I looked at Rebecca with a cold gaze, which seemed to anger her more. Despite the school uniform being decent and stylish to an extent, the skirt laying an inch above our knees, Rebecca managed to make both the shirt and dress shorter. So far, the school authorities turned a blind eye to it, probably because she threatened them with some daddy's money.
"Yes, Me," I stated dryly.
Her body began to shake in anger, her ice-cold eyes brewing with a fire that seemed to run cold and hot at the same time. I watched as her eyes took this form before steeling themselves into a ruthless determination.
"What do you think about letting everybody know about that secret now?" she asked, and before I could fully register what she said, she was gone.
I stared at the empty classroom as the sinking dread of what just happened became heavier. I had just signed off my death warrant. What have I done?