I don't do this usually, but please read with caution.
Midoriya's POV
Even though I was tired, I stayed awake.
Shouto was snuggled against my shoulder, his arms around me as he slept peacefully. We were both shirtless while under my All Might blanket, still a little sweaty from our late night activities.
I ran my fingers through Shouto's hair, my hands shaking slightly for unknown reasons. They tended to do that a lot, recently, and Recovery Girl told me it was just from my lack of sleep, nothing more, nothing less.
But lately, I've had this strange, awful feeling in my stomach and chest, a feeling that makes me want to puke and sleep, because everything has become so hazy, and it's hard.
And I don't know when it's going to stop being so hard.
No, I haven't been sleeping, because I've been thinking. I've been doing a lot of that recently, as well.
I've been thinking back in time, to the sunset that fuelled my worst nightmares, transporting me back to that man's harsh grasp. In my dream, whenever I struggled the pain would grow until it was almost unbearable, and then his sickened deep voice would whisper in my ear.
"Relax and calm down, you slut. If you do that, it won't hurt you as bad."
But it did.
It stung and burned, and he kept going even when I started bleeding –
I sat up quickly, my breathing laboured as I tried to shake the man's voice from my head.
Is this how Shouto felt; how Kacchan felt? I thought, staring up at my ceiling, still running my fingers through Shouto's silky hair. Is this why they did what they did? Is this how they felt from all the pressure, and did cutting really help them release their stress?
Well, I guess there was only one way to find out.
I was in the downstairs bathroom now, Shouto still sleeping soundly upstairs in my room, oblivious to the conflicting emotions I was feeling.
Oblivious to the blade that was resting above my wrist, just barely touching my skin.
Yeah, it's been hard.
There's no other way to put it.
And now, I know how Shouto and Kacchan felt. And I feel so, so irresponsible. I tried to help them, I supported them, loved them, and held them close when they needed it, even if they didn't ask.
In a way, I wanted to save them. Because I'm a hero, and heroes have to be able to lift others and help teach them how to fly. But, even heroes have their limits, and with all the extra pressure, all that extra weight from helping others, they begin to fall, unable to fly.
And that's where I was now, falling.
The blade and the bathroom floor was stained red, my fingers twitching as they numbed. My eyes didn't blink, so they just stared at my hand, my left cheek pressed hard against the bloodied floor.
I smiled, because yes, this does help.
My emotions have been building up since Middle School, ever since Kacchan stopped me from jumping that one day, and I couldn't help but feel relief as I felt the pressure that was squeezing my lungs release.
And with that extra weight off my shoulders, I closed my eyes.
~Time skip to the morning~
Bakugou's POV
No, I didn't expect this to happen, even though I knew of Izuku's past.
But damn, I thought he got over it, I thought he got better. . .
It was Kirishima who found him.
Apparently, he was just walking into the bathroom so he could brush his teeth, but then he saw Izuku, and his past plans were forgotten.
It was the screaming that lead me here.
Loud, terrified screaming and panicked shouts for help that caused me to burst into the bathroom and rush to the redhead's side.
And I started screaming too.
"Izuku!"
Izuku was pale and cold, so, so cold.
His lips were blue, his eyelids slightly open, showing his green eyes that had dulled dramatically, as if the life was ripped from his body.
And oh my god, was he even breathing?
I took the greenette's right wrist and placed two of my fingers over his veins, struggling to stay calm and not break down, because goddammit Izuku! We were supposed to grow up, become adults and save people.
"I-Is he alive?" Kirishima sobbed, gripping onto my shoulder tightly. "Bakugou, please tell me he's alive."
My eyes widened and I turned to look up at Kirishima, tears flowing down my face.
"Get Mr Aizawa."
Kirishima shook his head, crying in frustration. "Is he alive, Bakugou?!"
"I said get Mr Aizawa, or he won't be!" I yelled, panic fully settling in over my shoulders.
Kirishima sniffed and stood, running from the bathroom without looking back.
I quickly bundled Izuku into my arms, his head in the crook of my elbow and I raised my hand to cup his cheek, running my thumb over his freckles.
I moved and ran my fingers through his hair, knowing that the motion would soothe him, because yes, he was alive, but he was dying.
His breaths were quick and irregular, his eyes rolling under his eyelids as he looked side to side, but he was too weak to move, or to be fully conscious and aware of his surroundings. But still, he was awake, and he was alive.
He slipped his mouth open, a sigh escaping his lips as his eyelids fluttered lightly, his green orbs rolling up to meet my face.
"Ka . . ." he mumbled, another breath leaving his lips as he struggled to keep his eyes on me.
"Shh, it's okay, Izuku," I murmured, rubbing his cheek again. "Try to stay awake, okay?"
The younger boy hummed, a wince flashing on his face. "Izz . . . hurts."
I sniffed, quickly blinking away my tears. "Yeah, no shit, Sherlock."
Izuku smiled drowsily, his eyes rolling around the room. "I'm . . . Sorry."
My heart squeezed, and I held Izuku tighter, grateful that he was speaking.
"You have nothing to apologise for, Izuku."
"No!"
His shout shocked me, and I remained silent.
"I . . . failed you," he mumbled, and in the corner of my eye, I saw Mr Aizawa enter the bathroom, a worried look on his face. "I failed . . . to save you a-and . . . and S-Shouto."
He was sobbing, but his eyes remained blank, and his face barely moved, as if numbed.
"I-I can't . . . I can't be a h-hero . . ." Izuku whispered, and his eyes shut, his head rolling back.
I panicked, a suffocating dread settling in my stomach. "Izuku? Izuku!"
Aizawa chose then to intervene, and without hesitation, and stole Izuku from me and rushed out of the room, yelling back to us.
"Tell the class to stay in their dorms, and that classes are cancelled for today," he hurried, waiting for the elevator. "And tell Todoroki to see me right away, the moment you see him."
I nodded, still slightly in shock.
The elevator arrived and before the doors closed, I stole one last glance at Izuku.
He wasn't breathing.
:)
*More internal screaming*
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