Bai Qian promised herself that she would never see Ye Hua again. She, like all demons, was terrible at keeping promises.
Bai Qian couldn't help herself. The thought of him was always on her mind. Was he eating well? Was he sleeping well? How was he dealing with his family? Had he started drawing again? Should she and should she not sneak into Zhao Chu's room and kill him in his sleep?
Therefore, Bai Qian kept finding herself gazing at him from afar. Ye Hua never saw her, of course. As a fox, she blended seamlessly in the snow. As a woman, she walked amongst the crowd as he went on his daily routine as usual as if nothing had happened. That almost assured Bai Qian that eventually, Ye Hua would be fine.
Almost.
There's always a hint of sadness every time she sees him. In the morning, he would buy himself some breakfast in the market. And then he will work in construction, building a new bridge for the town. He would return home in the evening, have dinner and crash on his bed until the next day. Bai Qian never saw him pick up a brush once.
Bai Qian gulped down her cup of rice wine in one shot. The intoxicating liquid burned her throat, sending her mind into a daze.
"So you like him," Zi Lan summarised.
Bai Qian slammed down her cup, "I do not!"
Her meeting with Zi Lan was a pure coincidence. She was stalking on Ye Hua the other day, but somehow she had appeared in the radar of a passing celestial. They were extremely sensitive to anyone that might interfere with the mortals' fates. Especially those of reincarnated immortals.
Bai Qian was surprised to see Zi Lan who hadn't aged a day and was pointing a sword at her throat. He had figured out she was a demon since day one. And the clueless mortal was a disguise to spy on her and Yan Zhi.
To him, two demons working and staying together was way too suspicious.
"Well, did you find any nefarious plot?" Bai Qian countered as she blocked his strike.
"No," he admitted, "You two are definitely up to something,"
Bai Qian rolled her eyes and jabbed at him, "Please, Yan Zhi wouldn't hurt a fly,"
He parried, "But you would. That night, you killed that man,"
She sneered, "He had it coming,"
Zi Lan summoned a sneaky spell and sent her flying, she crashed against a tree trunk and dropped down to the ground. Her sword was sent flying to who knows where.
Zi Lan pressed his sword against her throat, "Tell me, why are you lingering around High Immortal Ye Hua's side,"
At the mention of his name, emotions poured out of Bai Qian. She didn't know why, but all those months of pent up feelings of guilt, pressure and anxiety exploded inside of her. It blew up as a torrent of tears, Bai Qian sobbed uglily. Even Zi Lan didn't know how to react to her outburst. He lowered down his sword, "What happened?"
That's how they ended up drinking wine in the tea house with Bai Qian confessing everything she had done since her aunt's demise.
"You know what your problem was?" Zi Lan said.
Bai Qian rolled her eyes, she gestured for Zi Lan to continue, people seemed to like pointing out her flaws these days.
"You never ask if he needed any help," he explained, "You just do whatever you think it's best for him,"
Bai Qian wanted to protest, but Zi Lan interrupted her, "And now you're gone when he needed you the most,"
Bai Qian took another shot of wine, "What's the point anyway. You caught me, I assumed that you're going to send me to the Demon Sealing Pagoda,"
"Normally, I would," Zi Lan said, "But The Bodhisattva Guan Qin had handed you a task. I couldn't interfere with that,"
Bai Qian scoffed, "A task that I didn't accept. Imprison me! It's what I deserve anyway, "
"Do you really think so?" Zi Lan asked, "The bodhisattva didn't, so did Ye Hua."
"I cause pain and suffering among mortals," Bai Qian said, "I was responsible for Mo Yuan's death, aren't those reasons enough? "
"Do you know why Ye Hua was punished?" Zi Lan asked.
Bai Qian shook her head, "He failed to kill me, right? He showed mercy,"
"Not that exactly, we are benevolent gods after all," Zi Lan explained, "It's because when the Heavenly Lord asked him why. Ye Hua couldn't answer the question, "
"There's a lot of things an immortal should be," he continued, "But he can't be indecisive. Otherwise, the world would plunge into chaos, "
Bai Qian took another gulp of her wine, "That's stupid, "
"Yeah, you should have been there," Zi Lan added, "That whole audience was a mess, "
Bai Qian refilled both of their cups. It still didn't change much, Ye Hua's life had turned into a mess because of her. Bai Qian couldn't help but think if it wasn't mercy, what prompted Ye Hua to make that decision? The only way to know the answer was by confronting him when he returned into his immortal status. She dreaded the arrival of that day.
"So, what now?" Bai Qian asked, "Oh great and wise sage?"
"What do you think?" he asked her instead.
Bai Qian bit her tongue, "I should at least try my best to help him," she admitted, "At least be there for him,"
"Not as a fox tho," Zi Lan added, "You can't really do much by being an animal, "
"Then how should I do it?" She asked.
"Maybe by being his friend?"
Bai Qian burst out laughing at the thought of it. They were mortal enemies, Ye Hua would never accept her as a friend, reincarnation or not. Bai Qian was never meant to be by his side, and that's final.
Bai Qian hated this, she wanted to go back, she really did. She missed everything about him, his soft smile and sparkling eyes. His laugh every time she bounced around from furniture to furniture. Bai Qian wished that there was any way to help him. But she was afraid to mess it up again.
Bai Qian waited for Ye Hua to leave in the morning. He hadn't cleaned up the mess he made during that outburst. This worried Bai Qian, he couldn't move on if he kept drowning himself in the past. Bai Qian had seen enough of her aunt to understand. The second he left, Bai Qian snuck into his room.
There's obviously something that needs to be done about this. Bai Qian gathered all the cleaning supplies she needed and got to work. First, she picked up all the disgraded stationary and placed them neatly on the table. Then she got a washcloth and began scrubbing off the pesky ink stain.
Bai Qian was dusting the top of the cabinet, when she heard a voice behind her, "What are you doing?"
She was so surprised, the stool she stood on toppled. She lost her balance, her feather duster dropped to the floor. A pair of strong hands caught her instead. They wrapped around her waist, holding her steady.
Bai Qian almost let out a gasp when she saw him, "Ye Hua..." she muttered.
Her chest was pressed close against him, and her legs turned weak. Blood rushed to her cheeks, Bai Qian prayed that he wouldn't notice her racing heartbeat.
Ye Hua raised an eyebrow, "Who?"
Bai Qian blinked and noticed her slip from her lips, she pushed herself off of him. She quickly bowed, "Er Gong Zi,"
"What are you doing in my room?" he asked, crossing his arms.
Bai Qian frantically picked up her feather duster, "Cleaning, "
Ye Hua scrunched his eyebrows more, "Please leave, my room doesn't need to be clean, "
"But it's a mess in here," Bai Qian protested.
"No, it's not," he insisted.
"Only because I cleaned it," she retorted.
Ye Hua bit his lip and pointed his finger at her, his face turned red like he didn't know how to counter her. Nice to know they had gone back to their usual banter again. Ye Hua eyed her up and down, "Have we met?"
Bai Qian hid her cold sweat, "No," she quickly said, "I never seen you in my whole life, "
"You looked very familiar," he scratched his chin. "We have, haven't we?"
Her pitch was an octave higher, "We have not. I'm new here so..."
She wanted to bolt, but Ye Hua grabbed her wrist to pull her back. He pulled a bit too hard, and Bai Qian ended up crashing against his body again. She looked up to meet Ye Hua in the eyes. Time seemed to slow down, Bai Qian could count every single one of his eyelashes. She could feel her heartbeat racing fast against his. This wasn't the first time Bai Qian was close to him, but it was the first time they were both conscious.
Ye Hua's ears turned red. Was this the first time he was close to a woman?
"What's your name?" He asked.
"Bai Qian, " she uttered.
"How do you write that?"
Bai Qian's hands were still pressed close to his chest. Unconsciously, she wrote her name with her fingertips right above his heart. Bai Qian 白浅.
Ye Hua cleared his throat, Bai Qian took a step back.
"What brings you home so early, sir?" Bai Qian asked.
"I left my tools," he muttered.
Bai Qian went and got them for him. She handed him the bag, "This one right?"
"How did you..." Ye Hua murmured. He held her back, "You're the one who had been cleaning my room for the past few weeks,"
Bai Qian didn't meet him in the eye.
"The warm bath was you too?" he realized.
"You always look so tired..." she tried to say. Ye Hua interrupted her, "You must be really new here. I don't get privileges like these, I'm not like the other members of this household,"
Bai Qian swallowed. Was it because of your birth?
"Leave," he told her, "There's no need for you to do this,"
As he began to walk away, Bai Qian steeled her nerve, "I like your drawings! I think the buildings your designs are magnificent,"
Ye Hua paused at his step, "Thank you,"
"A pity they are all gone now," Bai Qian looked around the room, "What happened?"
Ye Hua deepened his voice as if he was doing an imitation, "A lowborn like me don't have the privileges to suggest ways to improve the country. Nobody wants to know my ideas. A lowborn like me was lucky to be alive,"
Bai Qian bit her lips, she didn't know how to respond to that.
"Are you still going to clean my room?" he asked.
Bai Qian picked up her feather duster, then she handed him a broom, "You can help if you like,"
"I have work, " he said, but he took it anyway.
Bai Qian gave him a beaming smile, "I'm sure you can take a day off, "
When a corner of his lips quirked and Ye Hua smiled, Bai Qian could tell that springtime was coming soon.
_______________________________
It was surprisingly easy for Bai Qian to assimilate herself as a staff in this household. When Bai Qian told Zi Lan about this predicament, the immortal just snapped his fingers, and it's done. Now everyone thinks that she was a new staff member who had been working here for weeks.
"Mortals' minds, " Zi Lan told her, "was so easy to manipulate, "
Sadly, that pesky celestial refused to teach her that trick. "Who knew what you'll use that for, "
Smart man.
It didn't take long for Bai Qian to know all of Ye Hua's family members. There's Minister Zhao, head of the department of development. He was a serious man and stricter for rules. Also, the worst father to grace the earth, according to Bai Qian.
Madame Zhao was his mother, Zhao Chu's grandmother. She was an 80-year-old lady who just liked to sit and sew all day. Madame Zhao didn't talk or do much really. Ye Hua liked and respected her. Therefore, she was okay in Bai Qian's books.
Zhao Chu was the eldest son and was in line to take his father's place in court. Ever since he discovered Ye Hua's talent, Zhao Chu had been taking his brother's design and passing them as his own. It went all the way up to the Emperor, who praised him for his ingenuity and creativity. Zhao Chu claimed that he was helping his younger brother, without him Ye Hua's designs won't see the light of day. And then he spent all his extra free time, lounging around and spending time in the flower house. Giving Bai Qian more temptation to kill him in his sleep.
And then there's Ye Hua's mother, Lady Zhao. She came from a preeminent family and was young when she married into the household. She gave birth to Zhao Chu. And then somewhere along the way she cheated her husband with a servant. The man was young and dashing, he was immediately killed when the affair was exposed.
Minister Zhao was furious when he found out. Too late, he had named Ye Hua as his son and called him Zhao Ge. Lady Zhao begged for her son's life, she was let off easy because of her background. Zhao Ge did not. Appearance-wise, he claimed him as his son, but Minister Zhao had sworn an oath to make Zhao Ge's life a miserable one. He will forever be known as the black sheep of the family.
Bai Qian clenched her fist when the other servants told her about this gossip. Maybe she should kill Lord Zhao instead.
"No, " Zi Lan told her sternly, "You're here to help him, not frame him for murder, "
"This is helping him-" she protested.
"No, " he insisted, "No murder, "
Bai Qian begrudgingly agreed.
The other staff members didn't pay her much attention.
Therefore she spent most of her time in Ye Hua's courtyard. She brought him breakfast in the morning, prepared a bath for him when he came back and served him dinner in the evening.
Bai Qian didn't mind living the life of a servant much. It kept her mind busy, she hadn't thought about her aunt for a really long time. That Bai Qian was just a mortal helping her friend. She almost had forgotten about Mo Yuan and her guilt weighing her down.
Almost.
Sure, there were times Bai Qian wanted to hit someone when they dared to boss her around. The work could be tiresome. But it was all worth it the second, Ye Hua smiled at her.
One evening, Bai Qian went to send dinner for Ye Hua. She carefully balanced a tray topped with a bowl of rice and a large plate of steam fish. She snuck out to the river that morning and caught the fish herself. All those time learning to cook from Yan Zhi had finally paid off. She couldn't wait to give it to Ye Hua.
"Why do I always see you around here?" Ye Hua asked when he greeted her at the door.
"Because I work here?" she simply said as she placed the food on the table.
"I meant, why do I see you here in my courtyard every day? Don't you have other things to do?"
Bai Qian looked up at him with big watery eyes, "You don't want me here?"
Ye Hua, realizing his mistake, said quickly, "No... No..."
He rubbed the back of his head, "I like...having you around here,"
Bai Qian looked up and beamed, "You do?"
Ye Hua nodded, he pulled out a chair. "Do you want to join me for dinner?"
Bai Qian was caught off guard by that question, "What?"
He smiled at her sheepishly, "I mean it's a big fish, I can't finish it all,"
"I want to, but…" she asked, "Is that appropriate?"
Ye Hua grinned at her, "As if you cared about propriety, "
Bai Qian smiled back, she got herself a bowl and joined him at the table.
Ever since then, Bai Qian had most of her meals with Ye Hua. She loved every single minute of it, and she could tell Ye Hua enjoyed her company too.
He would tell her about his work in the construction site. Which buildings he helped design or build. Ye Hua would confide to her about his childhood and issues with his parents.
When he asked about her family, and how she ended up serving this household, Bai Qian couldn't meet him in the eye. She couldn't tell him the truth, so she lied, "I don't have any parents, I lived with my aunt. Our house got raided by bandits, she died, and I ended up here, "
"I'm sorry to hear that, " Ye Hua said. He could clearly see how uncomfortable she was about these questions, so he never asks again. Bai Qian was grateful for that.
"Are you ever gonna design again?" She asked Ye Hua one evening. The stationary was still sitting idle in the cupboard. Judging by the dust bunnies formed, Bai Qian could tell he never once touched them.
"No, " he simply said, " Nobody wants them. And right now it's hurt too much to pick up a brush again, "
Bai Qian bit her lips, they ate in silence for a while. She wished that she could help him in any way at all, Ye Hua wasn't himself when he's not drawing.
"You don't have to design buildings, " Bai Qian finally said, "You can draw whatever you want, "
"Whatever I want?" He asked.
"Yeah, " Bai Qian said, she picked some meat for him, "Anything that makes you happy, "
"Anything that makes me happy?" He looked down at his bowl of rice, "I don't think I have anything like that, "
"Impossible, " Bai Qian told him, "Everyone has something. Like your favourite flowers, clothes, food. Anything that brings joy to your face, "
"What makes you happy?" Ye Hua asked her instead.
Bai Qian was surprised at the question. She enjoyed the smell of peach blossom blooming in the spring. She liked the sunlight passing through her fingers in the summer. The flow of small brooks in the fall, and Ye Hua's warm embraces in the winter.
The answer was caught in her throat.
"I like…" Bai Qian was struggling to complete her sentence. She couldn't, not when he was looking at her with such soft eyes.
"I like peaches, " she managed, "They are my favourites, "
There was a slight disappointment in his eyes as if that wasn't the answer he was looking for. Ye Hua cleared his throat, "I like apples, "
Bai Qian beamed, "You see, you do have something that made you happy. You can draw apples…"
He did not draw apples.
Bai Qian continued on her routine of cleaning up his room the next afternoon. She shook her head when she found that Ye Hua had left his stationary ajar on the table again.
Wait.
She noticed a parchment paper rolled up at the edge of the table. Bai Qian shouldn't open it, but her curiosity got the better of her. She carefully rolled open the paper to see it was a drawing of a bare tree branch. Bai Qian blinked, why would Ye Hua draw that. She looked up to see the painting matches the tree branch by his window.
Despite being just a bare branch, Bai Qian could feel the desolation emitting from the painting. The twist and turn of the twigs seemed to emulate the turmoil in his heart. The art just clicked with her as if she exactly knew how Ye Hua felt.
"I haven't completed it, you know," A voice behind her said.
Bai Qian jumped, she almost dropped the paper. She turned to see Ye Hua standing by the door.
"You're home early, sir!" She greeted him.
Ye Hua brushed off the snow on top of him and put down his bag, " The weather turned bad, so we had to pause construction, "
"I see, " she muttered. Bai Qian quickly returned the painting back to him, "I'm sorry for snooping around, "
"It's okay, " he placed it back on the table, " What do you think?"
"It's just a branch, "
Ye Hua shrugged his shoulders, "Yeah, your words struck me, and my hands got itchy. I couldn't wait until spring, so I painted the branches first, "
Bai Qian's eyes widened. He actually listened to what she said. "Wait until spring?" She asked.
He gestured to his window, "It's a fruit tree you see. So it flowers in the spring, "
Bai Qian walked to the window, inspecting the tree, "What kind of fruit?"
Ye Hua took a step closer and smiled down at her, "Why don't you wait until spring and find out?"
_______________________________
Bai Qian was greeted by the sight of pure white snow in the morning. There was a snow storm last night. Every single inch of the manor was covered with snow. The snow pile was so tall it reached Bai Qian's hips.
The other servants sighed when they saw this.
"I'll go get a shovel, " one said.
It took Bai Qian a while to get to Ye Hua's courtyard. When she reached there, she saw Ye Hua was shovelling the snow out of his doorway.
Bai Qian playfully snuck behind him and shouted, "Sir!"
It startled Ye Hua, he dropped his shovel.
"Bai Qian!" He greeted her with surprised, "Morning, "
He brushed off the snow on his coat, "How did you manage to get here? The pathway was blocked, "
She giggled and tapped her nose, "I have my ways, "
Ye Hua laughed. Bai Qian handed him his breakfast, steam buns with braised pork inside. They just came out of the steamer and were very hot. Ye Hua nearly dropped it when he took one.
"Careful!" She called out.
Ye Hua just smiled, vapour coming out from his lips, "Don't worry, I got it, "
He bowled on it and started peeling off the outer layer so he could eat it. Once he got rid of the skin, Ye Hua gave it to her. He held it right in front of her lips, "Here, you must be hungry, "
"I can't accept this, sir, " Bai Qian said, for some reason, her voice turned an octave higher.
He gave her a brilliant smile, and pushed the bun closer to her lips, "I insist, "
"I can't eat before you, sir," she said, "That would be inappropriate, "
Ye Hua took a bite out of the bun and handed it to her back, "I ate, so it's your turn, "
Finding no ways to argue back, Bai Qian gave in. With Ye Hua still holding the bun in front of her lips, Bai Qian took a bite.
Did the cook mistaken salt for sugar again? Bai Qian wonder, how could a salty meat bun taste so sweet?
And was she going to continue standing there and have Ye Hua basically feed her?
"Thank you, sir, " she said. Bai Qian went to place the food tray on the table. And then she took the bun from his hand and finished the whole thing.
Ye Hua ate the rest of the buns. During the whole meal, Bai Qian couldn't meet Ye Hua in the eye. Her face was red, she couldn't tell that it was from the cold weather or the fact they shared a bun together.
Ye Hua continued on his work of shovelling snow after the meal. Bai Qian also got herself a shovel and began helping him out. The job was tough, Bai Qian much preferred to dig through the snow with her claws. Who knew something that looked so soft would be so hard.
"Do you need any help there, Bai Qian?" Ye Hua asked.
Bai Qian adjusted her gloves, "No, I'm fine,"
She looked to see Ye Hua was already halfway through his section. Where in the world did he get the strength? He's just a mortal. Bai Qian looked at the thick layers of snow before her, this was going to be harder than she thought.
All of a sudden, a big pile of snow rained down on her. The ice climbed down her back sending a freezing chill down her body. Bai Qian turned to see Ye Hua holding his shovel, "Sorry," he apologized, "I shove too hard, I didn't see you there,"
Ye Hua had the nerve to laugh at her expense. A mischievous glint shone in Bai Qian's eyes. Forming a ball of snow with her hands, she threw it in his direction.
The snowball hit Ye Hua in the head, he scrunched his shoulders from the sudden chill.
"Ha!" Bai Qian called out.
"Oh, you're gonna get it," Ye Hua threatened as he threw a snowball at her. Bai Qian dodged, "Miss me!"
He threw a few more, a couple of them hit her while others don't. Bai Qian retaliated with the same fury.
"Hey," Ye Hua yelled as one hit against his chest. Bai Qian laughed. They had forgotten all about their task. Ye Hua and Bai Qian had found themself fooling around in the snow. Their hearts were so full, the cold didn't bother them. Honestly, Bai Qian much preferred this compared to the usual battle they had in the past. Ye Hua still had the same determination to win, Bai Qian remained defiant to his will.
This time there's no anger, no pain.
A snowball passed her ear.
"Miss me, again!" she taunted.
Ye Hua let out a cry and charged right at her. Bai Qian wasn't expecting that, she froze at her spot. Soon she found herself crashed against the soft snow with Ye Hua right on top of her. He supported his weight with his elbow, their bodies inches apart. Their bodies were buried deep into the snow, but Bai Qian found herself surprisingly warm.
Above her, he panted, vapour rising out his lips. He gave her a cheeky grin, "I got you now,"
By the gods, he's handsome.
"Cheater," she muttered.
Ye Hua laughed, he cupped her face, "Bai Qian, " he murmured, "Why are your cheeks so red?"
Bai Qian's blinked, "Your ears are red too,"
"I know," he whispered. Ye Hua leaned in closer and met his lips with hers. His lips were soft as if the chilly air had not affected them. In an instant, Bai Qian's heart melted through her ribcage. She snaked her hands around his neck and kissed him back, sealing her death warrant.