'Smiling doesn't always mean happiness; just like crying doesn't necessarily mean you're sad.'
~JRP
The chilly breeze hit Hayden's face as she waited outside her apartment complex for the taxi to arrive. The cold night was making her shiver under the dark. The taxi should have arrived by then, seeing as she had arranged for one as soon as she came out of her apartment and it had been minutes.
Finally, a crappy taxi showed up beside her, rolled down the window, and showed a bald aged man. "Hayden James?" he croaked. Nodding her head, she entered the backseat that matched the neighbourhood they were in. She had already written the address she was going to when requesting for the taxi on their app.
Hayden didn't want to talk, and she was glad the taxi driver wasn't a talkative one. The drive was silent as she looked out the window, thinking of what to say when she finally arrived at her destination. Should she say sorry or allow him to explain and forgive him? There were so many outcomes to her visit. Hopefully, none of them would lead to her leaving the house without coming to an agreement.
"Are you sure this is the right location?" the driver asked, looking at her via the rear-view mirror. Hayden nodded. Honestly, she didn't blame him, compared to the neighbourhood he picked her up which was complete garbage, this was heaven. It was filled with large and space-filled mansions that had a lot of bright blinding lights.
Stopping at the largest and grandest of them all, the taxi driver rolled down his window and spoke through the intercom. He said some few words which Hayden, unfortunately, couldn't grab before he said, "Look, I'm not allowed in, but I can drop you off here." Hayden sighed, asked for the amount, handed it to him, and left the car.
Taking three deep breaths, she approached the intercom. After stating her name, and who she wanted to meet, the guard confirmed, before allowing her in. It was as if it had become larger since the last time she visited. The car had definitely hindered her from truly seeing its size and magnificence.
Unlike the last time where Wren and Mason just waltzed in, Hayden had to ring the doorbell. The door was immediately opened after that. Two people were standing by the door; the long-bearded butler and a dishevelled Calvin. Smiling nervously at the butler, Hayden entered the house, averting her eyes from Calvin's.
"Hayden?" Calvin asked. "What are you doing here?" He scrunched his nose in confusion, as a slight frown sat on his face.
She breathed once, twice, three times before looking at him and replying. "The project," she said, her nervous smile still on her face.
He sighed, peering at her suspiciously before speaking, "Geoffrey, you can leave." The butler left, and Calvin turned to Hayden. "Come, let's go," he said, then muttered some words under his breath. Hayden followed him through some hallways filled with expensive paintings and up a flight of stairs. "Honestly, I thought I was dreaming when they told me you were at the gate." He let out a slight laugh, then glanced at Hayden; she faked a smile.
Stopping at a door, he pushed it open. His room was larger than her apartment, and that was a fact. She took her three breaths before entering the room. "What do you think, huh?" he asked, his eyes shining with a tinge of pride also found in his voice.
"It's beautiful." The room had a large black bed, a huge tv opposite the bed, a working desk, and a chair. Hayden loved the simplicity of the room, but most of all she loved the poetry he had all over his walls. She wanted to read them but refrained from it. She didn't like it when people read her work, so she respected his privacy, and ignored the writings. The room was a little messy, and so he quickly picked up the stuff lying around. It was no surprise he wasn't expecting a visitor.
He sat down on a beanbag and gestured for her to sit on the plush-looking bed. Approaching the bed with curly toes and nervous steps, she sat down. She attempted to speak before he cut her off. "Look, I'm really sorry you saw me with your... pills." Breathe. "It was really an accident; I didn't mean to. It was just sort of there, and I picked it up. I'm truly sorry."
Smiling gently, she said, "I know it wasn't your fault. I'm sorry I blamed you." Her voice was clear when she spoke to him. His smile spread across his face, covering it fully. She hesitated. "Can we just forget what happened?"
A frown covered his face as he took some time to think. "I don't know, Hayden," he said. "It looked pretty serious. But I can help you."
"Please, Calvin," she pleaded, trying to make him understand that she wasn't ready to talk about it. "Not now, please."
His frown deepened as he gave her a curt nod.
She didn't want to talk about it. Sure, he had seen them and there was no changing that, but that didn't mean she was okay with him knowing their purpose or why she had a panic attack the other day.
"So, what brings you here?" he asked, picking up a shirt from the floor. "The maid didn't clean the room today." A tinge of red flushed his neck. He had a small tattoo on his neck, she saw. Nodding slightly, she averted her eyes from the mesmerizing piece of art.
Hayden grabbed her bag and brought out a notepad. "Um... let's continue the project." She had an idea of what they should write, but she didn't know if he would agree. She pushed out the notepad for him to collect and assess her idea. Maybe they could add it to their project.
The sky had darkened, and the thunder roared. Jaz snuggled further into her warm, soft blanket and waited for her Daddy to bring her cup of hot chocolate. A tradition of theirs was to drink hot chocolate as they watched the grey sky — as they watched Jasmine's mother.
Unlike other girls her age, Jaz adored the dark grey skies. They reminded her of her mother's large grey eyes. Eyes she could only see in pictures. So, she sat by the window and watched the large moving objects in the sky. Her eyes widened as she followed one that was shaped like a bunny.
"Daddy, look." She pointed at it. "A bunny cloud." Her father had entered the room with two cups full of hot chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts — their favourite.
"It's beautiful, honey. But doesn't it look more like a cat?" His eyes squinted as he stared out the window, making himself comfortable beside his daughter.
"I guess so," she mumbled, taking a large sip. Her eyes brightened up as she looked at him. "Daddy can we please play outside?" she asked, hope brimming in the enormous grey eyes he loved.
"I'm sorry, Jaz. It's about to rain." He shook his head and attempted to rub her arms. She pulled back, a frown on her moustache face.
"Why?" she demanded. "All my friends can play with their mom, but not me. You said she's part of the grey clouds and I want to play with her," Jaz sighed, she knew her mom was dead. But she wanted to play, and there was no other way her dad would agree.
Her father rubbed his face. "How about I tell you a story?" he asked, wiping the chocolate-made moustache from her face. She nodded excitedly. "When you were in your Mommy's belly, she got seriously sick." Jaz gasped. "I know. She was taken to the hospital. The doctor said Mommy wouldn't make it but she didn't agree. And guess what? She made it. She brought you into the world, Jasmine. My little Jaz."
"But why did she die?" Jaz asked, a frown on her cute face.
"Well, the cancer got to her. But at least I have you." He smiled and removed the cup from her side, properly laying her down. "Now, sleep. When you wake up, we'll go play outside," he said.
"Promise?" she asked, closing her eyes.
"I promise." He kissed her forehead and left with the cups.
She was eight then, and her life was perfect.
Hayden waited as Calvin read it. Her eyes watched his every movement as she played with the edge of her hoodie. "Well written. But where do we put it? Backstory, flashback or dream?" he asked, sitting up on the beanbag.
Hayden breathed and thought about what he said. "Flashback," she said. He nodded, before taking an excuse and leaving the room. She wondered what he left to do. It was getting late, and she needed to leave, else she could not get a taxi. Besides, unlike him, she had a job and school the next day.
He entered the room with two cups of noodles. Hayden glanced at him, raising her left brow. "I can't seem to get enough of it," he said, a lopsided grin on his face. She collected one cup and chopsticks. She smiled. It was nice of him to bring her a cup.
The room was quiet after that, save for the occasional slurps Calvin made as he ravished the noodles. One would think he wasn't fed. He threw the cup in the bin, got them two glasses of water.
"I need to leave," she said, keeping the glass aside.
He nodded as she packed her stuff, inserting them into her bag. They stepped out of the room, into a grand hallway filled with three doors. Hayden followed him down the stairs, and into another hallway, this one was filled with pictures. His steps were brisk, so Hayden didn't have the time to stare and inspect the pictures. There was usually a man, the woman she saw earlier, a young Calvin, and a girl in the frames. Hayden didn't know he had a sister. She didn't really know him.
They had reached the hallway that led to the front door when his mom got out of a room. "Oh, Calvin, I didn't know you had a friend over," she said. A warm smile was on her face as she spoke. Calvin attempted to talk, but she cut him off. "I'm Melissa, Calvin's mom. It's a pleasure meeting you... again." Melissa gave her hand out for a shake.
Hayden accepted it with rather shaky hands. "I'm Hay-Hayden," she said, secretly hoping she didn't feel her sweaty hand. His mom had a warm and approachable atmosphere to her that Hayden could get used to.
"Let's go," Calvin gritted out, leaving for the door. Hayden wondered why he was being so rude to his own mother but decided not to question him. She left and followed him out. "I'll drop you off," he said a small smile on his face now. Hayden shook her head slightly. She had already ordered a taxi, and it'd be there in some minutes. "C'mon, I insist. Think of it as a thank you gift for accepting my apology." Finally agreeing, she followed him into his plush car.
It was silent with none of them talking, as the car revved to life. Already knowing her address, Calvin input it in the system. They left the enormous mansion and glided into the streets. Soft music was playing in the background. Hayden looked out of the window till Calvin broke the otherwise peaceful atmosphere.
"I can help you, Hayden," he said, his eyes focused on the steering wheel. "I know what you're going through." Beside him, Hayden chuckled humourlessly. He didn't know shit. He did not understand what she was going through, and he had no right to bring it up after they had agreed to close the topic.
She didn't reply for a long time until they left the richer side of town and entered her pathetic side. "Why?" she whispered. He glanced at her, nose scrunched in confusion. "Why do you want to help me?"
It was his turn to let out an emotion-void laugh. "I made a promise to always help someone like..." Like me? Like us -- freaks.
Hayden sighed, "I don't want your help."
"That doesn't mean you don't need it," he said. A small smile replaced his grim face now. "Good night, Hayden."