Roderich
Elizabeta stirred next to me. She turned away from me, curled into a ball before deciding it's not a good position, then turned back to me and nuzzled into my side. My arm was slowly going limp from her resting on it the whole night but I didn't say anything; I wanted to be as close to her as possible.
Her hand came to rest on my chest, her head there, too. I brushed some of the fallen hair away from her face, tugging it behind her ear. She re-adjusted her head but didn't open her eyes. She didn't open them after I caressed her face either. Only when my fingers got lost in her hair, playing with it gently.
Green emeralds shone at me. I looked back and we stared into each other's eyes. I tried opening my mouth but her finger shushed me quickly. I understood and shut it again, letting my hand wander to her waist to pull her closer. Her feet made a cold shiver run all over my body. I wrapped the comforter tighter around her and she giggled – a good sign.
"You know," she said at last, her voice like a beautiful melody to my ears. "If I hadn't known you for so long, I'd be surprised." I gave her a puzzled look, brows knitting in confusion. "You seem cold and distant but deep down, you're kind." My fingers brushed a caress along her arm, "Have you thought of me like that, too?" I could feel her chest shake against me as she let out a tiny laugh. "I did; do you know why?"
I shook my head. She smiled gently, drawing circles into my skin with her forefinger. "Because it's easier to judge someone than to understand them. And I judged you, too. I used to judge you a lot, you know? I often got angry with you because of the way you treated me and others. Then I went to my parents' house, do you remember?"
I nodded – yes, I did. I was surprised when she came to me with a request of visiting her parents to help them out since her father got into an accident and couldn't move around properly for a certain amount of time. It was back then when I realised I had feelings towards the Hungarian.
"I've never told you what happened there. Because of the frustration you caused, one evening, I told my anya about you. I told her everything and I got so angry at you while talking. That's when she's told me, and I'll never forget her words, 'People aren't their skin, or their God or whom they claim their lover'. She told me to tell you this, but I never did. Instead, I always repeated those words to myself because just then I realized people were their souls and hearts. And that's when I also stopped being so irritated by everything you've done; because I told myself that I never really knew just who the hell you are, so I wasn't in the place to judge you."
I stared at her, dumbfound. Why tell me all of this now?
She shrugged and nuzzled even closer. "I just felt like telling you," she said. No logical reason whatsoever; it happened so many years ago, why now? But sometimes, things didn't need a reason to be done.
Her hot breath tickled my skin. "Actually," Elizabeta said after a while, "I wanted to apologize to you. I didn't know how to start so I guess I had to say something stupid first." I planted a kiss on the crown of her head, "Nothing you say is stupid." I could feel her smile against me, "But it's still hard to accept defeat when you're stubborn like me. You know, before it all happened, I thought about how prideful people are and how bad that is. Then I got angry with you and thought my own pride was hurt. Stupid, isn't it?"
"We all have pride, and despite what we say about it – how bad it is – we still get hurt. But you're not stupid; you apologized, that's a sign of intelligence. Stupid people wouldn't apologize. They would sulk and whine about how hurt they got. I was like that, too, until a certain accident. Your slap really woke me up." I laughed and Elizabeta laughed as well. "I guess one could say I've learnt something thanks to you."
Her smile grew brighter. "Then I can say I did, too. We learn from each other. I wonder why. We're both adults, shouldn't we already know all of this?"
I turned towards her with my whole body, twisting few strands of her smooth locks between my fingers. "No. Life is a journey and we learn on the way. It's a process that never stops. Maybe there's someone out there, younger than us, who already knows all of this. And we're here, adults who are said to know it already. But we don't and that's alright.
Because, as you said, we learn from each other. We have each other to learn how to forgive and how to give, to trust and to love. We're going to get married, we're going to fight more and there won't be a way out. And despite knowing all of this, we've sent our minds to do it. We're going to fight a lot in the future, so why go through such pain? Because we have each other, and that's all we have. The world is not perfect, but it's not that bad. And as long as I have you, I know I'll be fine. Even if we fight, even if I get angry with you. Because, at the end, the love and stubbornness is stronger than anything else."
I took my eyes off of her brown hair, and stared into her eyes. There was a sparkle of amazement. I smiled, fixing the few naughty strands behind her ear again. "So," I pushed myself to finish, "pride isn't that stupid and bad. You're my pride and you're neither stupid nor bad." Her orbs glimmered like bright diamonds. She kissed me as an answer and I kissed back.
"To love is to be eternal. One day, all the things surrounding us will disappear. The trees, the rivers, the sky, animals, and us as well. Even we disappear, but not our hearts and souls. We ought to love everything and everyone, even our enemies, because just then we'll seek the ultimate truth without being ashamed. Love teaches us how to be humble, how to be true, how to be bold and how to live.
And to love is to create. That's why Love is eternal. Because unlike the other things I've mentioned before, the things we create with Love will never stop existing. With Love, we can create our lives and like that, we'll live forever.
But Love itself isn't enough. Being in love isn't enough; you need to fall in love with Love because those who truly love understand life. Life, love. You probably don't understand what I'm saying. But that's alright. You ought to understand it with your heart and soul, not your brain – because we play a dangerous game with Life. It makes turns and comebacks we never expected, we feel lost and blame everything and everyone for our failure, for things not going the way we expected them to go. Life plays with us in different ways but it's only up to us if we let it have an impact.
By impact I mean the change of our hearts, because if Life plays with your brain and you stay strong, it won't change your heart and after some time, you'll live happily again. But if you let it affect your heart, your whole world will change. Which is why we always keep our hearts hidden behind walls to be protected. Sometimes it's good and sometimes it's bad.
Just like the days we experience, but even in the darkest times we can get through, thanks to Love and Faith. Do you know why I'm not a believer? Because God is way too similar to people and people tend to compare themselves to God. If someone says they are God, it means they are something more than the others. So, I don't believe and I also don't trust; I only hope. I have Faith because when we believe in something and trust someone, we get utterly disappointed if it goes wrong. But if you hope, you know it might go wrong and if it really does, you won't be as crashed as if you believed or trusted.
But those bad experiences are good. They are amazing, actually. They teach us without us knowing. And that's why, in my opinion, sometimes we need to reflect on them, go back to those days when we were miserable and on the edge of ending it all because only then will we realize, or be reminded, how beautiful and amazing life is."
Elizabeta stared at me with her beautiful eyes. I stroked her head gently. She shifted so the upper part of her body is on me, while her legs were still under the comforter. I felt her press against me and it filled me with comfortable heat. She crossed her arms on my chest, resting her chin on the while staring at me.
"You know, I always thought there were only two types of men. Boys and real men. I always thought that it's easier to steal a boy's heart than to bring him to bed, and bring a real men to bed ought to be easier than having his heart. I never knew why, I guess I thought boys were bold and unexperienced while men knew what life was about, its ups and downs.
But now you showed me something else – no, you just pushed me into opening my eyes to see something else. Boys' hearts are easier to gain because they've never been hurt before so they're not afraid of showing people their real feelings. Meanwhile men, they've been hurt exactly because they dared to be different. Thus they locked their hearts away. Boys are harder to be lured to bed because it's something they've never experienced. Men are easier because they don't want their hearts to be damaged again. They rather let their body feel the pain than their heart."
Her eyes narrowed and a glint of light sparkled in them. "To which group do I belong?" She laughed a little.
"You're both and you're neither. You're wise. Boys are too bold and men are too scared. You're wise; with the speech you have given me before and even now, I know you know. Boys and men only think but thinking and knowing are two different things. And you don't think, you know.
You know how to be careful but also how to be bold. And Love is just like that; you need to be sure but you also need to take the risk, sometimes. Because without risking for the one we love, they might start to think they aren't worth it.
Look at us. A maid and a master. Love is the last thing there should be. Desire is easier for others to understand but Love? That's just bad."
She scoffed.
"And lo, behold!" She prompted herself on her hands, the weight of her upper body coming to rest on me through her palms as she gazed at me from above. "We took the risk of being a couple and I could just about laugh to everyone's face because we're getting married. At first I just thought it would work, but after three years, I was certain; I knew. And after four more, we're here, in the present. Love is always worth taking a risk, even if it doesn't go well. It's worth it, no matter whom it is, where they are from or things like that. Love is the universal language that never grows old."
I rested my hands on her lower back, pushing on it to send her a message of wanting her closer. She leaned down and we kissed for the second time that morning. Her kiss tasted the same way it did seven years ago, when we had our first. Her Love felt the same as well. And I knew it would be the same in ten years, twenty years – until the day I die and even beyond that.
Because Love is eternal. And those who Love, Live. Love teaches us everything; patience, modesty, kindness – everything. To Love is to Live which is why we should learn how to Love better our whole lives because at the end, it's the only thing that matters; not how many houses we owned, how many important people we knew or what we've done to make us known to the whole world.
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If you thought I was dead or something bad happened to me, no - I just wasn't in the mood to write. So, I'm really sorry for the delay but here we are! With another chapter. I was really stuck for, maybe, a week or so, not knowing what to write and yesterday, I sat down, read a book and BUM! After I finished reading, I went to write and behold, a chapter was born XD I'm actually proud about this one; it somehow speaks the truth and yes, it might be difficult to understand at first but I know my readers are intelligent people and you'll get what I meant.
Well, it seems I won't be going to school for another 3-4 weeks. I don't miss school, I miss people. Honestly, I'm even doing my homework! Me! A lazy pig! And also other things but still. Me? And school work? Pffft. :D How about you guys? How's your quarantine going?
Also, what do you think? I hope you liked this chapter, thanks for reading and supporting me. I hope it's a nice way to start your week, LOL. Leave a comment and a vote, it'll make me happy. Thanks again, love ya all! <3
- Boora-kun